feel like my head might explode

[bumblebee25]

I've always been more of a lurker than a poster when it comes to forums but I've reached a point where I feel like I need to vent, before I go mad.

I'm 25 and I've been with my OH for 7 years; we've been through some really really crappy times together, including me being diagnosed with MS 2.5 years ago but we're still pretty solid.

A couple of months ago the condom broke during sex and we stopped immediately but this event has unleashed this crazy baby-mad monster in me! I was never particularly broody up to this point and the switch around has taken me by surprise and scared me quite a bit!

After talking to my OH it now appears that his biological clock has been setting off alarms for a while now but he is so uber responsible (I am too, to be honest) and has made it clear that he wants to move house to somewhere bigger before TTC.
I KNOW this makes sense and I know there are other things to put in place before we start trying but I am not known for my patience and once my mind is made up I just want to get started! haha.

Sorry for the essay! I'm such a loser!
I feel like I'm holding my breath right now and I just want to be irresponsible and do what I want rather than what I should...

 

[lovehearts]

Its good to vent in here We will all be here for the support while you wait. x

 

[Beltane]

You are not a loser! You have shown some major patience- I couldnt lurk for so long and not post- that's some self control- lol!

 

[bumblebee25]

I'm trying to put all my energy into doing up our flat for selling, I just want it all to happen NOW! haha

 

[helenbun2005]

we were going to put off ttc until april 2009...but our son was BORN in april 2009! we realised we could wait until it was "right"...we were engaged and living in a terrible 1 bed flat at the time we concieved - but then throught what the hell? if we kept waiting for the time to be "right" it will never be "right" there will always be a reason not to do it...so we did! we were married 3 months later and 3 months after that moved to our lovely new, big flat...things have a way of just working themselves out!

 

[bumblebee25]

thanks HelenBun.
I did try to tell OH that there is no such thing as a perfect time but he's fairly stubborn!

 

[lil_miss_pink]

Hi bumblebee, I am a newbie too - been lurking for the past week since I found this site! Sorry to hear you have had a tough time. I have been with OH for 6 years and like you a few months ago I switched and am now Uber broody!! OH is being so vague though, keep dropping hints and he won't really go one way or the other He has hinted that he's not sure it's the right time (I think he worries about money / wants to own our own house) but like helenbun i think it will never be the 'right' time! In fact I think now is the 'right time' - we have a great relationship, a nice house (rented) and jobs so why can't we start trying now!!!!!

 

[fuffyburra]

I'm beginning to think nearly all men are stubborn! lol We're waiting 2 or 3 years, so I've decided to just preoccupy myself by starting a tiny little craft business, then moving out, etc. I'm just trying to fill my time up and enjoying spending time with my OH.
I know how you feel though, it's just something you can't switch off, and it's all you can think about. Sometimes I feel like if I could, I would do it now, which is utterly ridiculous considering I still live my parents!!
But then I think about how comfortable I'd like my child to be, and how I'd rather have nothing to worry about except 'is the baby too hot? too old? hungry? arrrggghhhh!', and the other usual baby stuff that makes new mums terrified
Best of luck to you, the harder you work towards it, the quicker it'll come round (hopefully lol) xx

 

[booflebump]

Hey sweetie

We are waiting too for housing purposes (from 2 bed flat to something much bigger hopefully) so know how you feel. The crazy baby monster lies within all of us!

xxx

 

[fuffyburra]

I think OH had it in his head that we would buy a house before having a baby, but the market being what it is, he's having to adjust to the idea of renting for the next 10 years He doesn't cope well with change, bless 'im! xx

 

[lil_miss_pink]

I think OH had it in his head that we would buy a house before having a baby, but the market being what it is, he's having to adjust to the idea of renting for the next 10 years He doesn't cope well with change, bless 'im! xx

Lol I know exactly what you mean, I think OH had the same thing in his head. It will take so long to save up for our own house though he would be mid - 30's before we could afford it so I think he has mostly adjusted to renting for the next 100 years until we can afford to buy!! I have suggested that we save up and hopefully by a project in about 5 years or so that we can do up & sell for a big profit - kind of jump over the first few rungs of the property ladder! That has seemed to cheer him up a little Plus I figure a baby won't really care how big the house is until it is at least a couple of years old anyway!!

 

[fuffyburra]

Yeah exactly, and then you can just take them to the park if you haven't got the room

 

[fluffpuffin]

Well, my OH was very reluctant for a while. So about a year ago I first mentioned ttc & he said well, in a years time maybe...so 6 months ago I reminded him again....and again, so he could slowly get used to the idea & see how serious I am about it. Now he realises that it's very important to me and has already adjusted to the thought of becoming a dad. maybe just give you OH some time to come to terms with the idea. All the best 2 u. xx

 

[sleepinbeauty]

I'm still wrestling with OH about the idea. He says "someday" and I say "why not today?!" hahaha, men...

 

[fuffyburra]

Yeah, I find I get better responses now I don't nag so much lol. When I nagged he was more reluctant to agree with me, and I think he was being stuborn just for the sake of it. But now I've stopped and I'm just letting him think it's all his idea XD He likes it better that way lol.

 

[lil_miss_pink]

Hmmm common sense tells me that it is probably the daily (morning & evening!) naggin that is putting him off.... But the not so sensible side of me says that the more I nag, the more fed up he will get and the quick he will give in!! It's so hard not to talk about it when it's on your mind ALL the time!!

 

[bunnyg82]

Hello! I just wanted to say hey!

It's hard waiting sometimes, but our day will come x

 

[wannabubba#4]

Oh I know exactly what you mean bumblebee25

Sense and practicality go right out the window when you are broody and 'desperate' for a baby.

I have been gently prodding my DH for the past year about ttc and although now we have set a date ttc (in November /December yeah ) I remember just how frustrating it was not knowing when.
The pressure is off entirely now that we have a date btw, so maybe see if he can do that... say end 2010/ begin 2011 or something, for you to look towards.

I have often wished I didn't have my IUD insitu, and that it just happened -because I knew if I had fallen pg , we would have both been ready for it, but actually making that decision to have the IUD removed brings all those impracticalities to the surface. I was so jealous of people who had wee 'accidents' cos I wanted it to be me so much.
I have had a sister who fell pg with an IUD insitu, and another who got pg twce on BCP -why not me ? lol

BTW -Our situation hasn''t changed at all in the past year, just the impracticalities became less and less important (and less impractical lol )to both of us, and we reckon -we'll NEVER regret having another baby but may spend the rest of our lives regretting having never tried.

good luck when the time comes xx

 

[bumblebee25]

I get the impression that, like me, many of you wish that the decision would be taken away from you and a 'happy accident' would occur!
OH does make jokes about maybe he should check that I haven't tampered with the condoms! haha. I don't think I've gone that mental though, not yet at least!
Thanks to everyone for your advice/support though. It's nice to know that this new brand of insanity is not unique to me!
Damn these hormones!

 

[lil_miss_pink]

Oh definitely I would love an accident!! And the funny thing is, if an accident did happen I am 99% sure that once he got over the initial shock, OH would be over the moon. Hence the nagging as I'm sure it is just his male rational and logical side that doesn't want to make the scary decision of actually TTC!!

He is starting to get paranoid though as I'm going on about babies so much and keeps asking me if I have taken my pill every day!! LOL So it is tempting sometimes to just 'forget' a few pills (or a few packets!) but obviously I wouldn't want to have a baby that way but more importantly, i would NEVER get away with it! lol.

Here's to the 0.0000001% chance of getting PG whilst on the pill...