Feel quite lonely and......

Discussion in 'Postnatal Support' started by keelykat, Oct 5, 2008.

  1. keelykat

    keelykat Guest

    Does anyone esle with a new baby feel quite lonely or isolated at times? im lucky to have had my husband off work for three weeks to help with Elliot, but even still ive been feeling quite lonely in a way and i know it'll seem worse once hes at work and im by myself. Ive had people offering help-but i know most are being polite and have their own commitments ie work or their own kids. i really wish i could turn to my mom, but shes got problems with her health, and isnt very mobile etc so even though shed love to help, i cant let her...to be honest i dont totally trust her i know that sounds bad. its a long story. my sister is the only person i trust with my life, but shes juggling three kids-one at nursery in afternoon and two at a different school. shes also having personal probs (possible miscariage) so i cant really ask her for much right now although she has made me lunch twice when i was struggling with the b-feeding and hadnt eaten at all.

    sorry this is getting long, just need to get off my chest...

    im the first of my close friends to have a baby, so its difficult for them to understand and are enjoying their lives. i love Elliot to bits, but didnt realise id feel so alone. once hes a bit older i plan joining some mom n toddler groups etc but for now ive just got my husband (whos helping loads, but obviously hes tired too and will be back at ork).

    am i the only one feeling like this?

    keely.
     
  2. clairebear

    clairebear Mummy to 2 handsome boys.

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    :hugs: i felt like that at the start and sometimes still feellike it. have u got any mums and todds groups in the area xx
     
  3. Just Visiting

    Just Visiting 1st Baby

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    I too felt that way for the first month. Even though my bf was home with me for the majority of that month, I still felt that way. It does continue to creep up once in awhile. It was one of the reasons why I went back to work. Just for the social interaction and to get out of the house. Luckily I am doing contract work and have the flexibility of going to the office and/or working out of home.
     
  4. Jinty

    Jinty Proud mummy of Kiara Mei

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    I think everyone tends to feel like that after giving birth because of hormones etc
    I felt alone for a while but my OHs mum took LO out for the day and I had a day out with OH which was great :)
    What about your OHs side of the family?
     
  5. ryder

    ryder Mum to Jasmine & Peyton

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    lol heck I feel like this and I haven't had my baby yet :( Me and my dog sit at home every night alone while my OH is working overtime for us.

    Im grateful that he is doing this for sure. But it is quite lonely and boring. And im in too much pain usually to go out anywhere myself :(
     
  6. doumauk

    doumauk mama to salim,expecting

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    I get like this at times. My husband is in Morocco and hasnt seen his son yet except from pictures and the webcam. I will be going back in a few weeks. I find it so lonely, I just wish he was here so he could of been with us at the birth and seen his first bath,smiles etc. I think hormones has alot to do with it.:hug:
     
  7. jax

    jax Well-Known Member

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    I can totally relate to how you are feeling. My OH went back to work after a week (work pressures) and the second week if I am honest was so difficult being on my own. BUT Max is nearly a month now and I feel so much better and much more confident. Max is my first and I felt lonely and totally unsure of what to do. The first day my OH went to work I stood at the train station in floods of tears, the other commuters must have throught what a weirdo!!! But believe me it comes naturally and before you know it you'll feel like a total pro - I'm not quite there but I'm sure it'll come!!! I'm also planning on joining some baby and mum groups, not sure when, maybe in another couple of weeks but for the time being I'm just focusing all my attention on him and letting the housework totally go - I can quickly do a job here and there in the evening or on the weekend.
    You can definitely get through it, one gem of advice, make your lunch the day before whether it be a sandwich or leftovers, muh easier to manage on your own
    xxx
     
  8. Alexas Mommy

    Alexas Mommy Well-Known Member

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    i think a lot of mothers feel that way for a while. i can't say i did, but i was never very social. but if you were used to being out and about before your baby, of course you will feel this way. try some mother and tot groups, also invite a friend along for a stroller walk at the park or at the mall. while your friends may be busy living their lives without children, if they are true friends, then they will make time to spend with you. hope you feel better soon. just remember, it all gets better with time. :hug:
     
  9. keelykat

    keelykat Guest

    Thanks for the replies, the health visiter came over today to weight Elliot etc and she's passed over my details to the centre down the road that does groups/classes. Apparently someone will be popping over to chat about going to one, and meeting other moms. Im quite pleased there's somewhere i can go now and then to meet other people.

    As for my OH's family-there's only his mom really, as his dad sadly isnt with us and his only sister lives in london (she came to visit her first nephew the other day). As lovely as the MIL is, i'm not sure i can entertain her for long by myself!

    My sister has told me shes popping in to see me tomorrow afternoon-think she's trying to make sure im ok. Still feel guilty as shes got a lot on her plate.

    I'm glad im not the only one who feels/felt like this though, makes me feel a bit more normal.

    On a positive note-i feel like im bonding more with Elliot now. It does seem to be getting a bit easier.
     
  10. Jinty

    Jinty Proud mummy of Kiara Mei

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    You could get your OH's mum to babysit while you have a night out with friends =)
    Highly recommended...may seem a bit early to go out but a great stress relief if it is starting to get unbearable!
    xx
     
  11. Kracker

    Kracker Well-Known Member

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    My son is 11 weeks old and I still feel like it. I don't have enough self confidence to go to the groups that are available. I am joining a slimming club tonight with my friend, but don't have ant baby friends. It makes me feel caged sometimes. My friend is due a baby in Jan so I am hoping that together we can do things. I am glad you are getting some advice, good luck and let us know how you get on as it may give me the courage to go xxx
     

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