Feel so awful my baby could have suffocated

[Louisex]

I was co sleeping been doing it for 4 weeks but ive just posted about my current issues with his feeding it's stressful and I'm so tired anyway night before last the baby fell asleep on my Breast and I woke to find him under blanket. The same night my oh woke me up and said he was under blanket again. I feel devastated I put him at risknormally he sleeps at top of bed with cellular blanket and out quilt is below our arms. I then feed him and then put him back at top of bed but we both must have fell asleep. My oh is not happy and said I played a dangerous game. Last night I took his crib upstairs and he slept in that but I didn't sleep much he was waking every 1-2 hours.

Feel free to slate me I deserve it.

 

[midori1999]

Have you looked at the UNICEF and FSIDS leaflet on safe cosleeping?

It's actually safe to keep your baby level with your breast as you can then lay your arm out above his head so he can't wriggle up under any pillows. It's also much safer to avoid duvets altogether if you can or just keep it on your legs and tucked under you. Wear a warm pyjama top or zip up fleece to keep warm at night.

Also, you might find a long sleeved vest and sleepsuit is warm enough for a co sleeping baby, but if not, maybe try a low tog Grobag?

 

[ashley2pink]

Do you have a bassinet you could put him in next to your bed? For those nights when you feeling really tired. Or just get rid of the blanket

 

[Ruth 1980]

I don't think anyone will slate you hun, but I do think that people are under-aware of the dangers of falling asleep breastfeeding! I posted on here about this before but an accident &emergency department I previously worked in had a woman come in with her baby, who was dead on arrival and could not be saved, as she had fallen asleep breastfeeding and the baby had suffocated under the weight of her breast. Everyone was so traumatized by the incident (I cried at work &that was never having had children of my own). Anyway the incident scarred me so much that I have never fallen asleep bf'ing (and that's having gone 3nights with next-to-no sleep!) as tired as I have been, I've made sure to be just uncomfortable enough to not fall asleep. Maybe you could do this? People may call me a preacher of doom but if it stops another mother going thru the hell that poor poor woman went through, I'll take the title!
Anyway please don't beat yourself up, you're trying to be the best possible mum. Just maybe figure out a way to be a little uncomfortable when you're giving those super-tired breastfeeds, and I'm sure you'll find it won't happen again! Good luck x

 

[ashley2pink]

I dont bf laying down. I always sit up to do it. I cant fall asleep sitting up. If I happened to be tired enough that I did doze off while bf'ing I'm sure I would get startled awake because everything jolts me awake. Thats almost happened once, but sitting up keeps me from being able to fall asleep or doze off . She sleeps in my bed too

 

[Louisex]

After him being under quilt and reading that has scared me enough. I don't think I'll be falling asleep again I hope I don't after reading that.

I certainly won't be sleeping tonight anyway 3 yr old dd has sickness bug!

 

[Linzi]

hun One of the hardest things Ive found both times is not falling asleep when breastfeeding, sometimes I think that bottle feeding would be better coz Id actually had to get up, sort out a bottle etc, Id wake up properly if you know what I mean.

I agree its def best to avoid a quilt if theres any risk of falling asleep, I sleep on top of the quilt now when Im feeding coz Im paranoid about falling asleep with her under it.

Dont beat yourself up hun you're not the first & certainly wont be the last

 

[Louisex]

O god I am beating myself up with the what ifs. Phaps its a good thing tho z

 

[Linzi]

Just take it as a learning hun, nothing happened and everything is ok!! We all make mistakes and it cant be helped xxx

 

[midori1999]

It is actually more safe if you do accidentally fall asleep BF laying down, provided you have a safe cosleeping environment, than to accidentally fall asleep BF sitting up. You do need to be careful if you have very large breasts, but a healthy baby will always choose oxygen over milk and unlatch and turn away if they need to. Quite often cosleeping babies will latch themselves on in the night anyway.

 

[ashley2pink]

^^I have heard that. But I think its different for each individual. What works for me is sitting up and bf'ing because I can't fall asleep that way. When I'm laying down I cant lay in a good position and since I have smaller breasts the only way for me to nurse her lying down is to kind of lean towards her and I have to actually hold myself up from rolling on her if that makes sense. if I were to fall asleep then I'm afraid I would end up rolling on top of her. I am very sure I would wake up if that happened because I am a very light sleeper, but I dont dare take the chance. So I have always just sat up and I am unable to fall asleep even when I am dead tired Believe me I would rather just stay lying down then have to sit up 4 times a night to nurse her, but I know in my experience sitting up is way safer for me.

 

[ashley2pink]

Maybe just move the blanket completely off of you just while bf'ing her. Then when she is done move her to other side of bed, far from the blanket. Or sleep in a sweater. Or maybe sleep in a robe? But still keep her so she isnt right up against you unless she is nursing. Keep some distance. I nurse my dd, then lay her down several inches away and up closer to the head of the bed then where I am. That way the blanket is off to the side AND below her body.I also lay her slightly diagonally so her head is just a tiny bit further from where I am.

 

[Leopard]

Try not to feel too bad. Also babies are more resistant then you think. I co-slept with DD the first night out of hospital, and woke with her tucked up under my boobs quite happily sleeping away, most people freaked out, but she was quite content.

 

[cooper2010]

With my first we were so lucky when my husband rolled on her and we didn't realize right away. She was fine. But because of that I chose not to feed my new baby in bed. Its a pain in the butt to get up and walk to the living room but neither one of us have any issues falling back asleep when we are done.

 

[ashley2pink]

Try not to feel too bad. Also babies are more resistant then you think. I co-slept with DD the first night out of hospital, and woke with her tucked up under my boobs quite happily sleeping away, most people freaked out, but she was quite content.

probably true, but the risk is there. After my first was born, I was given some kind of newborn packet, and there was a story about a lady who had given birth to twin boys 3 weeks earlier. She bf one while lying down and fell asleep. When she woke up she was partially lying on her baby and she had suffocated him. Sometimes you can completely cut off their airway and you can be so tired or the baby's frantic movements might not be strong enough to rouse you. Same with if the blanket covers baby's face. Sometimes the baby doesnt even try to wake and just stops breathing which is how sids happens.

 

[heather91]

This happened to me a couple of times when exhausted. Its scary but if you put your head under the quilt you can still breathe, I guess you'd have to be holding it down pretty tightly to suffocate baby. Nonetheless when you're bf in bed pull your quilt by your waist so its ok if you fall asleep. I've been really exhausted the past few nightsso my OH keeps an eye on us.

 

[ashley2pink]

This happened to me a couple of times when exhausted. Its scary but if you put your head under the quilt you can still breathe, I guess you'd have to be holding it down pretty tightly to suffocate baby. Nonetheless when you're bf in bed pull your quilt by your waist so its ok if you fall asleep. I've been really exhausted the past few nightsso my OH keeps an eye on us.

Well the thing is a baby re-breathing its own carbon dioxide can cause sids. When a blanket or pillow or whatever is over the baby's face, the baby will keep re-breathing carbon dioxide instead of fresh oxygen. Its not usually true suffocation that happens.

 

[Leopard]

This happened to me a couple of times when exhausted. Its scary but if you put your head under the quilt you can still breathe, I guess you'd have to be holding it down pretty tightly to suffocate baby. Nonetheless when you're bf in bed pull your quilt by your waist so its ok if you fall asleep. I've been really exhausted the past few nightsso my OH keeps an eye on us.

Well the thing is a baby re-breathing its own carbon dioxide can cause sids. When a blanket or pillow or whatever is over the baby's face, the baby will keep re-breathing carbon dioxide instead of fresh oxygen. Its not usually true suffocation that happens.

Just Just out of curiosity, it seems a lot of these SIDS deaths are caused by basic suffocation
As for DD, she wasn't feeding when I fell asleep and I didn't have a blanket, there is a fair bit of room around my breasts too

 

[MrsHedgehog]

I often fall asleep while feeding LO but we only feed lying down at night. She'll latch on and after a while I drift off to sleep. Sometimes I'm barely awake when she latches on. I thought this was normal when co-sleeping. I don't feel like there's any risk as my blankets are arranged in a way that they can't cover her. I worry all the time about SIDS though but I'd worry just the same if she was sleeping alone in her Moses basket. Before feeding her make sure your blankets are well out of the way so that if you do fall asleep there's no risk of her getting under them.

 

[m0mmyCool]

I'm not the only one! I used to cosleep in the first few weeks. I slept while breastfeeding and almost rolled onto him. I startled awake as soon as I felt my body going onto his. He didn't wake up but it scared me. He ended up under the blanket while we were napping one day. Thank God his cries woke me up. He was hot & red from being under there. Ever since those incidents happened, he sleeps in his bassinet and I wake up to feed him. Luckily for me, he sleeps through the night now.