feeling alone

Discussion in 'Postnatal Support' started by lulasmummy, Jun 1, 2011.

  1. lulasmummy

    lulasmummy mummy to two princesses

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2010
    Messages:
    762
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi
    Just wanted to write on here as I dunno what else to do. Feeling so down. My baby is 13 days old and I have a 5 yr old daughter. Wow how much things change with a new arrival? I love her to pieces but i just feel so alone. Haven't seen any of my friends since becoming pregnant and tbh I can see who was there for me and who wasn't so they can piss off now! But anyways I have no help at home. My partner trys but tbh a lot of the time he is selfish and doesnt do anything. I don't even feel like I have had time to recover from the birth. I have had a really bad migraine from yesterday and nothing is shifting it. Im so tired and think im gonna give up breastfeeding (i have another thread on this issue). At least my crying has stopped now because those baby blues were awful. Just feeling overall rubbish and at a loose end. Like im not doing anything right, I dont feel i have the time with my other daughter which breaks my heart. Sorry i know this doesnt even make much sense im just rambling but its how i feel. :shrug:
     
  2. wiiwidow

    wiiwidow 1st timer!

    Joined:
    May 29, 2010
    Messages:
    2,817
    Likes Received:
    0
    Aw bless you, didn't want to read and run...hugs

    It's tough the first few weeks isn't it? I have already blanked out the first 6 weeks...can barely remember them! It will get so much easier you know and then will slot in to place. At least your older daughter is old enough to help out, am sure she loves to. Maybe sit her down and spend 5 minutes cuddling her everyday and explain why you cant spend as much time with her at the moment, am sure shell understand and it may make you feel better too.

    Give your oh jobs to do, a pain but at least he can do something for you and give you a chance to rest. As for the bf, well I stopped after 10 weeks so I can totally sympathise with you, it's so tough but if you want to bf then it will get easier too. Xx
     
  3. lulasmummy

    lulasmummy mummy to two princesses

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2010
    Messages:
    762
    Likes Received:
    0
    thank you so much! Adapting is hard but at the same time each day is a little easier? Can I ask why you chose to stop breastfeeding? xx:flower:
     
  4. wiiwidow

    wiiwidow 1st timer!

    Joined:
    May 29, 2010
    Messages:
    2,817
    Likes Received:
    0
    Of course, I had multiple issues with thrush! :( it seems so long ago now, but in the beginning I really wanted to bf, then I hated it was so tired and sore I'd have given anything to give up, but didn't cos I wanted my lo to have some at least in the beginning. Then it was lovely after about 3-4 weeks I loved it, it was the best thing ever...then I got thrush! Which unfortunately took 2 weeks to get diagnosed, then another 2 weeks to get the gps to prescribe something proper for me, then 2 weeks for it to heal, by which point I'd had to express loads as I was in too much pain to feed. Lo had got more used to bottles and it was quite painful when he fed, and I was getting blood blisters from the expressing machine. So I gave up! I was very sad to but it was the right thing for both of us. I will say bottle feeding is a whole lot more hassle, it's so comforting to know you have milk on tap for your lo when they're hungry, and there's no faffing with sterilisers etc every day. But equally it's hard, and you have to push on through if you want to do it, there's a lot more pressure on you to be there all the time etc, so there are positives and negatives to both! Well done you for making it this far though :)
     
  5. lulasmummy

    lulasmummy mummy to two princesses

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2010
    Messages:
    762
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanx! Yeh I agree so many pros and cons to each...... but better to do whatever suits you and bub :thumbup:
     
  6. QueenMummyToBe

    QueenMummyToBe Mummy to Amelia & Tristan

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2008
    Messages:
    4,784
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hugs::hugs:

    I hope you are feeling better!
    I thinking having a baby can be so isolating, a lot of my friends don't have children or if they do they have one or a nice big age gap between the two.
    I have a two year old and a 9 week old and it is so difficult at times, Amelia cannot properly tell us her needs and gets very frustrated & tries to take it out on Tristan, sometimes her behaviour can stop me from wanting to go out anywhere. It doesn't help that I am 23 and often get told I look under 18!! :dohh: Some of the looks people give are horrid.

    Some advice I have been given is go to baby groups (I find this one hard as Amelia doesn't go to nursery) but if your daughter is 5 I am guessing she goes to school so you could go then, whenever you feel ready, and when there use your newborn as a reason to talk to people and introduce yourself, who doesn't love to coo over a brand new baby!

    And when your DH is home, try leaving him with the little one so you can spend time with DD1, even if it is just playing in the garden, it is one on one attention from her mummy and that will be what she is used to, and if she will definitely get her involved with helping with the new baby.

    As for BF, I stopped bf at 2 weeks and went to exclusively expressing as I ended up with severe mastitis twice! and Tristan just one day refused to latch, expressing was actually better for us as he would feed for a good hour and a half (45 mins on each side) and then be hungry less than an hour later!!

    xXx
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice