feeling alone

Discussion in 'Postnatal Support' started by loop, Aug 18, 2007.

  1. loop

    loop Well-Known Member

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    right well the title says it all really dont it.......

    ive never had many friends up here as i only moved here 5years ago..... and fell pregnant with my dd... s oall the friends i do have are oh friends who dont have children and dont seem them much ne way.....
    i went to a playgroup and met some other mums and well there is only one of them that i really see now... our kids were born on the same day and well shes like my best friend but i dont get to see me much as she works nites (shesa nurse)
    so i feel all alone again.... esp now lil Imogen is here....... i cant really go to playgroups at the mo as i have lucy at home i know she will be starting school in a cpl of weeks..
    its prob just me feeling hormonal as well.......
    why cant i make friends.

    :cry:
     
  2. Tezzy

    Tezzy Mum of 2 TTCAL

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    oh loop :hugs:

    wherebouts do you live?

    im exactly the same, most of my friends are on here. when i became pg i was 18 and most of my friends were going out getting pissed, smoking, sleeping around etc, but i was buying a house, having a baby and getting engaged and then married. my friends just seemed to think i was too 'grown up'

    Im so sorry you feel so alone. :hugs: i dont really have any advice exept go to playgroups, mayb join a gym or go swimming or something and mayb you'll meet somebody out there who is looking for a friend too :hugs:
     
  3. Imi

    Imi .

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    OI cheek!!! lol

    I will get to come and see you i promise, its just all been rather hectic hun!!!
    With my hospital everyday ans ellie having to go to, just not enough hois in the day, and i have gone back to work!

    sorry hun will see you soon promise!

    xxx
     
  4. loop

    loop Well-Known Member

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    you have enough to deal with imi hun than coming to see miserable me


    terrie hun thats just how i feel i was preg at 18....dint really do the going out drinking thing either now 23 and feel like ihave no firends.......i gave up all my firends to be up here with my oh and have lost contact with most of them...

    i live in wigan..... i love it here but wsh i had some friends....... i heardly go out as it is nevermnd a night out.... .wont be gettig one of those for a long time now. im 23 but feel like im about 50.......
    the friends i do have are online

    :cry:
     
  5. Imi

    Imi .

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    First night out i have had in 2 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    It will happen. you will go out, im gonna take you! hun i felt like that (and STILL feel like that) for a hell of a long time, vicky will tell ya!

    Its hard re-locating and im about to do it again!

    xxx
     
  6. loop

    loop Well-Known Member

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    it does help that oh jut shrugs it off he says he understand what i did meaning givinup everything to move up here tobe with him

    but i dont think he really does at all
     
  7. Helen

    Helen ICSI Twins + miracle BFP

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    I know how hard it is. I moved to be with DH and only now after 4 years of living here do I feel that I have a good mix of friends.

    It's really hard making friends when you're not a kid anymore. I feel a bit of a nutter asking a grown woman if she fancies meeting up sometime. It's like asking someone on a date! :blush::rofl:
     
  8. Lil_Baby_Boo

    Lil_Baby_Boo Well-Known Member

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    I know how you feel too!

    It sounds odd but I know lots of people but they're not really my friends....If that makes sense?

    I have a best friend Becky, we've been friends about 7 years now and we used to go out a lot but when I moved to Chester we stopped going out as getting home for me is a real nightmare! We try and see each other every couple of weeks but its hard as she works shifts and I'm always knackered now!
    I have a couple of other friends but one is at Uni and when she's not she's travelling and the other lives miles away so only see her now and again!

    The girls I work with are all late 20's early 30s, 40's and 50's so I don't go out or socialise with any of them......I'm the baby at work!

    I miss having a someone there when I fancy a cuppa & a Chat I can just pop round! And having conversations with someone where we're the same age & like similar things!

    When we move OH wants to move one side of chester (as in to wales) and I want to move to the other side (towards wirral) closer to my friends & family! Being in North wales we'll stillbe close to his family & friends but way further away from mine!

    Sometimes I get really fed up esp when OH goes out for a pint with his mates and I'm at home wishing I could just pop here and see so and so and pop here and see whoever! He wonders why I spend so much money on clothes!

    All us girlies who live close should meet up now and again & do lunch or something!
     
  9. Arcanegirl

    Arcanegirl Bazinga!!

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    I have the same prob here too. I know lots of people but no one i can just pop round and see.
    The only person is a £20 train ride away :(
     
  10. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: i can relate, its a horrible feeling.

    I used to be like that, i moved away from home 10 years ago.

    Up untill last year i had one best friend, we did everything together, but then things happened and we fell out.

    Now id rather not have anyone close to me, that way i cant get hurt.

    Im happy with it just being me and Jase, this year at college i met a girl and shes really trying and making the effort to be friends, invited me over all the time and texts. Altho i like the idea to have another close friend, i just cant bring myself to do it and i feel bad for keep making excuses why i cant go round.

    x
     
  11. loop

    loop Well-Known Member

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    hi girls thanks for all your replys.
    its hard and i am struggling.... been quite upset bout it all over the last few days.
    yday i went to see a friend who i used to work with shes preg due in 2 weeks but i dont know yday i felt like she was loking down at me ect its not the 1st time i have had this feeling... and when shes bee n visiting at my house and my oh has been here and hses sadi soemthing to me like just winding me up ive seen the faces she pulls ike shes shocked that hes said that and whe i do have a hingeto her about him i getthe feeling that she dont really like him ect........

    ohhhh i dont know.........................

    why cant i jsut have some really good friends that take me for who i am:hissy:


    sorry all i seem to do at the mo is rant x
     
  12. Tilly

    Tilly Guest

    Aw bless you.

    I just moved to my boyfriends in January and im over an hour from "home" (my mums), it feels weird here as it's different from what im used to and I can't just pop home to see mum or friends of mine. I do have quite a bit of contact from my old "best friend" from school and shes always asking to meet up, but with baby and stuff it's not always easy to arrange a date so I end up feeling a bit lonely here with no girly stuff to chat about, thats why it's nice to post on here too.

    I have always had problems being friends with girls, they always turn out to be bitchy, back stabbers.. remember you will only have a few true friends in your life time, most people seem to be out for themselves.

    Hope you are feeling ok today. :)
     
  13. marley2580

    marley2580 Well-Known Member

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    Is there any way you can get OH to take the kids for an evening once a week? If so why not join a group you have an interest in such as a singing group, am dram, writing group etc. Your local library or community centre will have groups or know of groups. I'm in a musical society and once I've had the sprog I intend to go back as I don't want to be stuck in the house all the time, like I am now. The OH will be looking after the sprog, either at home or in the club rooms (whether he likes it or not lol) as this will be the one thing that I will not give up. Many societies don't mind you bringing the kids as long as there's someone to mind them. Even if you don't make any life long friends, you'll still get that social contact you crave.
     
  14. MummyBecky

    MummyBecky Member

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    I moved to Leeds to go to uni at 18 and made a few friends up there, but I decided to move back to Bedford when I was pregnant so that I could be close to mine & OH's families after the baby was born. I feel lucky that my sister only lives 5 minutes down the road from me, she has 2 daughters & is due #3 in a couple of weeks. I see her quite a bit but I feel that I'm gatecrashing when she's with her friends. Everyone I knew from when I last lived here have either stayed exactly the same and so are only interested in going out & getting drunk every night, or have moved away. None of my frinds have babies.

    I feel like I want some friends of my own but I don't meet anyone in the same situation as me. I go to a baby & toddler group but it's run by my mum. Everyone in Bedford knows me as Jessy's sister or Steph's daughter & it's driving me crazy. Sorry I can't help you, but I do know how you feel, it's horrible.
     

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