Feeling ashamed that...

Lil_Gem_1989

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... my three children will all have different dads. Cant help feeling extra emotional atm and its been playing on my mind a lot. Before i got pregnant i thought to myself i dont care what people will think because i know im a great mum and my kids are happy. But now my hormones have come into play i feel a bit embarrassed about telling people.

DS1’s dad i was with for 7 years and he lied to me about some strange stuff so then the trust was gone. And we drifted apart but parted on good terms. He sees his son regularly.

DS2’s dad i was with for 2 years and left due to him becoming abusive which started when i was pregnant and just got worse. (Emotional and verbal). He sees his son now, regularly and we get on fine now.

My current partner and i planned this baby and are in a very stable relationship. But i just dont want to be judged.
Not sure what im hoping to get from this post, i guess i just needed to vent.
 
You had the courage and strength to leave an abusive relationship and move on. You should be applauding yourself, not downing yourself.

And regardless, it's no one else's business. It's your life. Don't waste any time worrying about what some judgmental, full of sexual-hypocracy jerk might think. Seriously, why care? I hardly think you'd want to hang around such a person.

Just live your life the way it is right for you. If you are happy with this man, and excited about your pregnancy, that is what matters.
 
You had the courage and strength to leave an abusive relationship and move on. You should be applauding yourself, not downing yourself.

And regardless, it's no one else's business. It's your life. Don't waste any time worrying about what some judgmental, full of sexual-hypocracy jerk might think. Seriously, why care? I hardly think you'd want to hang around such a person.

Just live your life the way it is right for you. If you are happy with this man, and excited about your pregnancy, that is what matters.


Thankyou so much for your response witchrose. I know I shouldn’t care what people think. It’s my life after all and it’s not my fault things didn’t work out the way i intended. I think its these hormones got me overthinking everything. Xx
 
Your past is what it is and you can't beat yourself up for that. There were genuine reasons you drifted apart - you sure didn't go out with the idea you were going to fall pregnant to the first man you met! There are things in life that we can't control. And your children have their fathers in their lives who are all playing an active roll! A lot of woman don't get that!! Try not to beat yourself up. You are an amazing mother and you sound like you have a lot of fantastic support around you. <3
 
Your past is what it is and you can't beat yourself up for that. There were genuine reasons you drifted apart - you sure didn't go out with the idea you were going to fall pregnant to the first man you met! There are things in life that we can't control. And your children have their fathers in their lives who are all playing an active roll! A lot of woman don't get that!! Try not to beat yourself up. You are an amazing mother and you sound like you have a lot of fantastic support around you. <3

Thanks so much wackymumof2 :)
I am lucky to have a lot of support from my family. Will try to stop beating myself up about my past and focus on the future with my partner, my gorgeous boys and baby number 3
<3 xx
 
I felt a little like that when I suddenly realised my two children will hve different biological fathers, and different surnames. I had a massive panic and now I’m in the process of changing my daughters surname to match the rest of ours (I’ve only just married my husband and her biological father has nothing to do with her).
Your history is your story. I don’t see a woman who’s sleeping around and getting knocked up by three randoms John’s down the road. I see a woman with past relationships, where the child was born out of love, a woman brave enough to leave an abusive relationship, and a woman that, despite precious trust issues and abuse, has picked herself and her children up and started afresh. Don’t put yourself down :) DNA is only DNA. :)
 
I felt a little like that when I suddenly realised my two children will hve different biological fathers, and different surnames. I had a massive panic and now I’m in the process of changing my daughters surname to match the rest of ours (I’ve only just married my husband and her biological father has nothing to do with her).
Your history is your story. I don’t see a woman who’s sleeping around and getting knocked up by three randoms John’s down the road. I see a woman with past relationships, where the child was born out of love, a woman brave enough to leave an abusive relationship, and a woman that, despite precious trust issues and abuse, has picked herself and her children up and started afresh. Don’t put yourself down :) DNA is only DNA. :)

Youve hit the nail on the head there :) thankyou so much.
I feel a lot better about the situation now, i have a great support network around me and my partner will make a brilliant daddy. He is great with my kids. Xx

P.s. i love this forum, everyone is so supportive of one another
<3
 

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