Feeling down + Lonely x

[kayleigh89]

Hello girly's

Some of you may know me? Well i lost my little boy in May due to my blood clotting to much,We waited for PM results before we tired again which was 3 months.
Ive been put on Aspirin and also Clexane-Enoxaparim injections but im feeling so down at the min and i cant seem to pick myself up
No1 understands around me that after a loss its so nervous,scary and every day is a bonus.

I listen to my bubs every other night on my Doppler and everythings good,But cause i know im going to have christmas without my Angel also im approuchin the 22-24 weeks that i lost Brayden im very scared.

Does anyone feel the same?

Thanks girls xxx

 

[Elliesmummy]

So sorry that Brayden passed away xx PAL is a very emotionally hard rollercoaster. I dont think it eases until you have your baby in your arms. I was the same all throughout my pregnancy. People couldnt understand why i was so scared and not wanted to get to excited. They would say everything will be fine this time. It wont happen again etc. I used to count the days until the gestation my daughter was born, even then from what happen to her i knew this one wouldnt be safe. It wasnt until i reached 30+ weeks that i actually started to relax and think about the day were this one might come home. I used to lay awake for hours at night just feeling her moving and i used to treat everyday as though it could be my last. Its no way for a pregnancy to be but after a loss it was all i could do.
Your not alone hun. What your feeling/thinking is completly normal after losing a baby. Having said all this, i never thought i would go on to bring a baby home and here i am with a wonderful baby and im sure you will to. Wouldnt it be lovely to have the pregnancy inocence back and not have to worry.
I know its hard but try and enjoy it hun. Im sure by the end like me you will be sat there full term telling baby to hurry up!!!
Sorry for the long post, wishing you all the best in a very long pregnancy!! xxxx

 

[kayleigh89]

Elliesmummy...

Thanks hunni means so much to know people do understand me xx

Don't get me wrong im so so happy about being pregnant but i carnt show or express the feelings neither can OH which i totally understand.

I have got people saying 'Oh everything will be fine this time' But i dont feel that way its not them that have to lye awake all night thinking and think all day.Its not them that have to feel the pain if something does happen.

Thanks babes and im sure as soon as ive reached about 28-30 weeks i will feel loads better xxxxxx

Thanks again hunni xx

 

[Elliesmummy]

Of course your happy but the fear of what can go wrong is always at the front of your mond. The people that usually tell you everything will be fine and not to worry have normally never lost a chilld and cannot understand what it is like. And then to go on to get pregnant and have the worry every minute of every waking day. I suppose your just have to ignore everything people say!!! I would love another child eventually and even though we have our daughter it still terrifies me!!

Just dont push yourself hun. Just because your not jumping off the ceiling doesnt mean you dont want/love your baby? It will get better xxxx

Feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat xx

 

[kayleigh89]

Thanks hunni,u really are a star.

I do love and feel so much for this baby,but I just cant get excited till I know everythings fine.

im on my moby at min babes as soon as I get bk on laptop ill pm u xx

 

[SabrinaKat]

I understand how you feel and others don't really -- I'm 25wks+ after a mc two years ago and two possible chemicals and, fortunately, I'm starting to feel baby moving, which is giving me more confidence, but most people don't understand why I am still cautiously nervous -- my MIL keeps calling about sales of cots, etc., but my OH just says to her, 'we'll wait until we get closer', so there are no hard feelings, etc., etc.

best wishes

 

[petra_isis]

i'm sorry for Brayden... anyhow, its said that time heals all wounds, so it will happen here. i've read some postings from you and you seem to be a very strong woman ! i wish you all the best kayleigh

 

[kayleigh89]

Thanks all and yeh time is a great healer,i can honestly say i love my lil brayden so so much but i just carnt stop feeling guilty that ive moved on and that im pregnant again i dont know why i feel this way.

Its hard to believe 1 day i will have a baby in my arms! xx

Thanks all! xx

''Can i just say this baby was wanted and tried for'' As it took us 2 yrs to conceive brayden,Dont want people thinking this baby Wasnt! wanted xx