Feeling down tonight....

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by Jessa, Apr 13, 2009.

  1. Jessa

    Jessa Guest

    It's been about two months now since we had our second miscarriage at almost 17 weeks (our baby had stopped growing at about 14 weeks). On the outside, people see that I'm fine and when I'm busy doing something or at work, I don't think about our loss that often. However, it's when I'm at home just hanging around that I start to feel down about everything. Every thing I do seems to have the same mantra follow it in my head -- "I should have been pregnant while doing this right now".....but I'm not. I should be over six months pregnant right now, but I'm not. It's absolutely heartbreaking to me.

    My husband and used protection until my period resumed after the D&C. That means that we've tried for one cycle and I'm currently waiting for AF to leave on this second cycle. This may sound bad, but it's frustrating to me that we didn't get pregnant this last cycle because with both previous pregnancies it only took us one cycle. I was hoping...almost expecting...that it would be the same this time. Unfortunately not.

    Thanks for reading. This ended up being longer than I had anticipated, but I guess I had more to say than I thought. I guess I try to remain positive as best I can and keep trying.
     
  2. todteach

    todteach Dreams can come true

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2008
    Messages:
    2,352
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sending you big :hug: tonight. So sorry that you're feeling down right now. Wish I could help take your pain away.

    btw: It's been almost two months since our second miscarriage too. And this time last year we told our parents that we were pregnant for the first time (then miscarried in May, had very difficult time dealing with my emotions until I found out i was pregnant again). I found it difficult going to our family dinners this weekend, and actually just got in after a tearful ride home. This is the first time since our miscarriage that I am feeling this way. Just a little overwhelmed is all, expecting my period later this week and really tired at the moment too.

    Hope things go well for you soon hun. Crossing my fingers really tight for you this next cycle. Sending you love and hugs. xox
     
  3. Jessa

    Jessa Guest

    Hi todteach...I know exactly what you mean. It occurred to me earlier a few days ago that our due date for our first baby has passed. Since I only knew I was pregnant for about two days before the miscarriage happened (even though I was about 7 weeks along), I didn't really get too attached to the first pregnancy, and therefore, didn't have the due date memorized. It would have been around the end of March. Since our second miscarriage happened later (17 weeks), I know that when July 25th rolls around, it's going to be a very sad day. Hopefully I'm pregnant again by then and well on my way to having a healthy baby.

    Thanks for your encouragement. Hang in there. We'll get there someday.
     
  4. pennypoptart

    pennypoptart Stick little bean please!

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2008
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    0
    I had a cry too yesterday. I was on the way home from a dinner party where the hostess was preggo. I got my AF yesterday too... so all in all it was a pretty crappy day!!

    Like you, I keep on thinking, I should be revelling in my pregnancy by now. We didn't prevent this last month, so I was so disappointed that I wasn't pregnant. Especially after listening to the chat that "you're more fertile after a D&C"!

    It's the first time that I've broken down since I m/c- it's not like me at all not to be chipper. Feel really down. Pleased that I'm back at work tomorrow as need the distraction!
     
  5. chella

    chella mummy of 3 & 1 angel x

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2009
    Messages:
    1,002
    Likes Received:
    0

    Just wanna say im so sorry for ur losses and hope u have some good news very soon, ive just had my first AF yesterday and in a way was bit gutted but i will just keep my fingers crossed that next time round it doesnt appear!

    Hope all eases soon

    take care

    rachy xxx
     
  6. Jkelmum

    Jkelmum Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2008
    Messages:
    16,860
    Likes Received:
    0
  7. RobenR

    RobenR Mum to miracle girl & boy

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2009
    Messages:
    579
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's so hard I know Jessa. My first AF after the m/c, I was actually devestated and went a little nuts since I had heard so much about how easy it was to concieve right after a m/c and when we didn't I was crushed.

    I too wonder how I'll get through July 5 and I was missing Boo and crying about it last night.

    :hugs: I'm sorry you're hurting so bad.
     
  8. Rainstar

    Rainstar Mommy of a sleeping angel

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2009
    Messages:
    90
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi Jessa :hugs:

    So sorry for your loss. I had a m/c 9 weeks ago and i also have that "i should have been pregnant whilst doing this" thought process, its like a radio station that can't be switched off. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone and that i hope you're as okay as you can be during the incredably difficult time.

    Got my fingers cross for you hun

    Kay x
     
  9. CarCam

    CarCam WTT after 2nd MC :(

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2009
    Messages:
    134
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am so sorry you are hurting right now.

    I too keep thinking "I should be pregnant right now...". When my stomach twinges, I actually think (for a very small second) that I have a wee one in there. Because my first two pregnancies were healthy when I found out about my third pregnancy, I assumed everything would be fine. I keep forgetting that I am not pregnant. It just isn't natural to find out you have a life inside of you, and then it to just "go away" with no baby to hold.

    I hope that you are able to enjoy a healthy pregnancy soon. Don't give up! I know many people who have had several MCs before a healthy pregnancy. BUT, it happens all of the time!!! :happydance:

    Best wishes!!! :hugs:
     
  10. Jemma_x

    Jemma_x Mummy and Engaged

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2008
    Messages:
    14,544
    Likes Received:
    0
  11. Widger

    Widger Mummy at last

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2008
    Messages:
    3,724
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sorry you are feeling rubbish at the moment but know exactly how you feel. Although last night I was feeling angry about everything not tearful....
    why has it happened to me again?
    why did it not happen last month? (although I wasn't trying too hard as been told not to till my test results in next week)
    why is everyone else around me getting pregnant with no problems?

    I know how hard it can be when on the exterior we are able to get up with things as normal. Hopefully it will be our time next time. That is what we need to hang on to as it is all we've got.

    Hope you are feeling better today xx
     
  12. Jessa

    Jessa Guest

    I'm feeling a bit better, but not a lot. Standing in line at the grocery store this afternoon, the lady in front of me was 8 months pregnant and chatted about it with the cashier the whole time her groceries were being rung in. How frustrating! I just felt like yelling out, "That should be ME having that conversation!".

    But, like you've all said, I've just gotta keep going and be as positive as possible. There's nothing I can do to change what happened, but I can change the way I feel about the future. Here's hoping if I keep telling myself that over and over and over again, I'll eventually start to believe it wholeheartedly.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice