Feeling down :(

[dustbunny]

Me being a silly bumble bee but it is beginning to cause me restless nights!!!

Yesterday I unblocked FOB's email address. Although it has been blocked I had a protocol on it that email could still be received but I would get no notification and it would also forward onto my mother. Now, knowing how upset I get over his emails is the only reason I added the forward on to my mother aspect and felt even if I had got them she might not have told me. I also blocked them on FB purely for the fact I think FB should be fun and not a minefield of kissing other peoples asses etc etc... if that makes sense. Also I should point out he still had my mothers phone number, my sister on FB and her email and phone number and MY phone number.

Anywho, I deleted all the protocols [minus the mother one] and was ...shocked... to say the least that there was nothing. I waited overnight, I don't know why but still nothing. I just can not get over the fact he doesn't give a shit but made such a fuss, even writing a nasty letter blaming me for his missed opportunities which resulted in me [yet again me!!!] taking the high ground and phoning Boxing day about a truce: https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnancy-club/835092-tricky-fob-again.html

But I am genuinely shocked that since then there has been nothing and it just reinforces why I don't need/want him around. I know he has spent well over £1000 on new photographic equipment, doesn't have a job, has £10,000 in savings, ripped off JSA, gives money to his friends and genuinely believes that taking shit photographs is the way he is going to be a super God amongst the photographic/movie making industry. When I say shit... it is not me being jealous, they are shit. He even told me I was out of line asking for money. Whereas I have managed to get jobs etc whilst pregnant to support LO, plus training and get out of my overdraft!

So now I don't know what to do about when the baby gets here. I don't even want to tell him as he hasn't shown any genuine interest other than to try and rile me and make me depressed again, making me dependant on meds or him. But it seems no matter how much I try and move on I am stuck, I have horrid dreams about him walking in and playing the amazing Dad when he is not even capable of looking after himself. I tried to speak to my MW about it but she discarded it. I feel annoyed that all I ever seem to do is complain and feel down

 

[Willo]

Hi there, so sorry to hear what you are going through with the FOB. I've no real advice I can give you. You know your situation best and have to do what feels right to you. By the sounds of it you are a person who will do what you feel is the right thing to do despite of others not giving you the same respect.

I was a single parent with my first baby and I remember having to be the bigger person on lots of occasions. I figured that actions speak louder and as long as I was putting my Daughters interests first and not partaking in mud slinging or any negative stuff, just doing what I felt was right then that was the best I could do. I did not want to stoop to other peoples standards.

You will know what is best for you and your baby.