Feeling guilty about being pregnant :(

[kellyrae]

We had a viability scan on Tuesday and everything was great with heartbeat and measuring slightly ahead, s we decided to tell family members the news, although we decided not to tell the younger ones as we didn't want it to slip on facebook or anything so thought we would wait until 12 weeks.

However yesterday my mil told me that her granddaughter our niece had just lost her baby at 9 weeks

Our niece doesn't yet know I am pregnant and I feel awful about it now, I know how it feels to have losses and how it feels when people around you are pregnant just having lost and your not.

I just don't know how to tell her? We usually get together at family birthdays/occasions etc and I just keep imagining how awkward its going to feel for both of us. Especially at xmas when I am nearly ready to have my baby & she was only a week or so in front of me.

I remember this happening to me with a close friend and I found it so hard to be around them.

I don't want to feel like I am rubbing it in her face....poor girl is distraught and I am feeling guilty for being excited

 

[RaspberryK]

I'd write to her while your still early hun xx

 

[laurac1988]

It's natural to feel guilty, but please try not to. Try to enjoy your pregnancy.
I would definitely get in contact and let her know while you are still early, but please don't feel guilty. These things are awful when they happen but they're not for any reason that anyone could have prevented most of the time. Just offer her your love and support - she may not want it right now, but I'm sure she would appreciate the offer.

 

[xxshellsxx]

Having been on the other end of that stick, please take her to one side, tell her face to face. Yes she will likely be upset, but she will appreciate it coming from you and not overhearing it from someone else. My friends have all taken me aside and yes it hurts and i cried when they left, but having it announced in front of others (like my cousin did) hurts a heck of a lot more x

 

[crysttal]

I think you should let her know in person and also tell her you would understand if she can not be excited for you right now.

The hard part for me was trying to pretend I was all excited when all I wanted to do was lock myself up and lick my wounds. I don't mean I wasn't happy for them or wished them ill, but it took me a while before I could really get involved in their pregnancy.

 

[kellyrae]

I would never announce it in front of her in a group, that would be cruel, we only found out she was pregnant yesterday and I wanted to tell her last night, but my husband suggested we left it until next week after her last week of college is over.

I know it hurts and this is why I am so stuck as I know exactly what she is going through too...I have spoken to her to offer support if she needs it, but I don't want to leave it too long as I hate keeping it from her. xx

 

[KatieSweet]

Yeah, I'd tell her before any public announcement. But definitely be happy for yourself and don't feel guilty!

 

[Pix]

I think after a loss it's one of those things we wouldn't even wish on our worst enemies. So yea while she may feel a pang of jealousy she may just be happy for you. After our loss 2 o my closest friends got pregnant. And surprisingly I was nothing but thrilled for them. And I mean they found out the same week I was still losing the babe. Sometimes people surprise you. (((( hugs )))) it's never easy but do enjoy your pregnancy. Every little detail.