Feeling guilty about my cat.

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by Tiffa130, Jun 4, 2011.

  1. Tiffa130

    Tiffa130 first time mom

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    I was there the day my cat was born unbreathing & my OH rolled him to start him breathing, he instantly attached to both of us & used to crawl out of his box with his siblings and climb into bed with OH & I.

    We've had him 10 years and he's always been my baby, he slept with me every night & lays on my knees when they are sore.

    I had my baby 10 days ago & since then my cat (Shrek) doesn't want much to do with me. He doesn't hurt me or LO he just ignores us both, he sleeps in another room. The other night my brother was visiting & Shrek got out (he's 100% an indoor cat) and he ended up being locked outside all night & I was too busy to notice, he didn't come in until 7am.

    I love my cat but I feel guilty that I don't have enough time for him anymore :(

    I'm probably just being hormonal. I don't worry about him with my daughter because he's a gentle cat. I just worry he's not feeling loved enough.
     
  2. EmberLeigh

    EmberLeigh Ember's Mommy

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    Congrats!
    I have almost the same story with my (almost) 10 year old cat. She was used to getting all of my love and attention and now she is feeling pretty neglected with the baby and all. Thankfully, after nearly 3 months, she is starting to accept the changes and warm up again and is even beginning to join us in the bed (at the very very edge furthest from the baby) every now-and-then.:hugs:
     
  3. PepsiChic

    PepsiChic mummy of 2 boys!

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    it can take a lot of adjusting for all family members, furry ones the most because they dont understand, we cant explain to them whats going on or why this new life is screaming the house down at 2 in the morning.

    i made myself make a little promise to my cats (i have 3 cats, my boy whos 8, and the sisters who are 2) when my LO was a newborn i promised them that i would sit down and spend good 10 minutes with each of them just petting or playing with some string. every single day. Id set an alarm so i wouldnt forget.

    i think it really helped and it was hard trying to stick to it and sometimes i did forget and other times the 10 minutes were interrupted but i did my best and they got used to the smell of the baby on me and started to become more settled around him even when he cried.

    as LO got older they calmed down a lot more, thoguh there were phases that seemed to not be to their liking. for example at 6 months old LO learnt how to scream the highest pitched loudest screams at the cats every time he saw them. they werent too impressed!

    and now hes figured out crawling and he grabs their fur so i dont pull his hand away i just hold it in place so that he doesnt pull the fur just holds it. the cats dont seem to mind this. but i try to just get him to stroke them...its a work in progress.

    i always make sure they have places to go that he cant get to them. they have a big cat tree/scratching post and the top 3 levels of it he cants reach, they also have free access to other rooms to go and hide in where he cant bother them because of the baby gates..

    i hope some of this helps! in time your cat will come around to the LO, its a big adjustment for you having a baby in the house too and the first few months are hard.

    *hugs* congratulations on your baby! hope everything works out ok with the cat x
     
  4. Surprise

    Surprise Well-Known Member

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    I felt the same way. This baby was super demanding the first 3 months, and I barely had enough time or peace and quiet to speak to my other sons, much less my cats. We had to compromise by sharing my lap - meaning I would have a baby in my lap, and at least 1 cat there at the same time. Maybe even 2 or 3 cats! They felt so starved for attention and I felt really bad and missed holding them. It's getting a bit better now though, since he's not crying all the time. They really like the baby, they rub against his hand so that he's scratching their face or wherever. It's so sweet!
     
  5. LPF

    LPF Well-Known Member

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    I used to walk past the spare room and see my 2 cats curled up together and ignoring me and have a little weep. They were scared of lo and I had no time to cuddle them.

    It's much better now as they sleep on our bed again and have got used to lo and there's time for cuddles. It takes a lot of adjusting for all!
     
  6. Pixxie

    Pixxie Mum to 1 little girl

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    We had the same problem and in the end we rehomed our cat as we felt it wasnt fair on him not to be getting the attention he deserved. He was a bit of a handful though, quite feral and difficult. xx
     
  7. tu123

    tu123 Well-Known Member

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    Hi hun
    It took alot of time for my cats to adjust and for us! Before LO came along we put Feliway diffusers n the house and as i was in hospital with LO for a week my hubby took home a baby gro of my daughters and put near their beds to help them get used to to the smell.

    It was obviously still hard!

    Penguin hid behind the washing machine for two weeks and I was worried sick he would have a heart attack! Octave just avoided us.

    BUT! 2 months in and life was good. Now they will sit near her when she is playing and don't run away! And she smiles so sweetly everytime she spots them playing:winkwink:

    We continued with the Feliway and made sure that we spent some tme everyday with cuddles and petting and playing. Giving them a good brush (if your cat likes that) is good bondng time for them too:flower:
     
  8. Aunty E

    Aunty E Mummy to Mog and Teddy

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    Half our cats like the babies, and half just ignore them. They don't get as much attention as they did, but once the baby is asleep in the evening they sleep on my knee and get strokes and all of our neighbours let them in for cuddles too. I know from past experience that once Teddy gets past the early months there will be time for the kitties again. I even let one sleep on the bed last night (just been spayed) and she was super careful not to wake the baby.
     
  9. Cookie1979

    Cookie1979 Well-Known Member

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    My cats were abit neglected in the early days, but now they are used to my son (they dont like him cos he hits them lol) and they are fine, its a change but they get used to it. I didn't give them any affection for a while, I feel bad about it now but I was far too preoccupied to notice. They come to me for snuggles now when my son isn't on my lap, or they go to my husband. They are outdoor cats though, if they aren't asleep upstairs they are outside so is a little different.

    Don't feel guilty, your cat will get used to it, and eventually you will find you do have time to him give him affection again.

    Just wait til your lo is on the move...that cat will be in trouble! lol My son loves our cats, but he's not gentle and either hits them in the face or grabs their fur and pulls, he's not crawling yet but I dont think it will be long before he starts chasing them...poor things they dont know whats coming!
     
  10. Wirral_Kitty

    Wirral_Kitty Well-Known Member

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    HI, my 3 nine year old cats were my world until I had my LO. I barely had time to look at them and they tried to come near me for love and I pushed them away. Previously if they farted or anything I would take them the vets instantly to be checked over and used to spend a fortune on them...then I didnt even get them vaccinated last year cos it would cost £120+ that I might need to spend elsewhere. But 7 months later we are all friends again and they love the baby. One of them likes to climb onto the bed in the morning and lick the babies feet whilst I am changing her nappy and then she pulls his ears. She smiles and stares at them when they walk into a room and its lovely again. Plus, i took them to the vets! You will naturally feel quilty...but u will get over it and normality will return. I cant wait until she is older and can play with them.
     

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