Is it normal to feel guilty when having a second child? My son will be 3 in October and I just found out yesterday that I'm expecting another. I was hoping to wait until my son was at least 5 to have another. This one was a bit of a surprise. Had an accident a few weeks ago, even took the day after pill, and I still ended up pregnant. I'm just afraid I won't be able to give my son the same attention I was before once this one is born. I feel bad because he won't be the only baby anymore. Has anyone else felt this way? Did the feeling go away after a while?
Feeling guilty
- Thread starter dolly5x3
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SleepyBaby
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Its a normal feeling, but it goes away! When babys born you can still make time for both children and when your busy cooking or cleaning or being mom in general your 3 year old will have a friend! ( when babys up a bit ofc) but it will all work out! My 3 year old is over the moon about a baby brother! dunno whats gonna hapen if we find out her brother she wants so much will be a sister lol
I felt guilty and totally against another baby when i got my 2 lines, it was more or less suprise! you didnt want any more children but your getting one anyway! but now after its sunk in and everythings going well im happier than i thought i could be about it, even feeling the excitment kicking in !
I felt guilty and totally against another baby when i got my 2 lines, it was more or less suprise! you didnt want any more children but your getting one anyway! but now after its sunk in and everythings going well im happier than i thought i could be about it, even feeling the excitment kicking in !
Thegoodtwin
Mom of 1 and expecting #2
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Totally normal. We were trying for another and I still ended up feeling completely guilty after my bfp. Knowing that DD will have someone to play with when bubs gets a little bigger and that she'll have a friend for life is what helped me get through those guilty feelings
I feel totally guilty, and part of me quite sad. After all my DD is my baby, she'll be nearly 5 when this baby is due but she's still my baby, and I love her so much. This baby is very wanted but I can't imagine how I could love another the same way and I feel like I'll be pushing her out or though quite the opposite she'll be very much involved.
kajastarlight
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My husband feels this way and I think it is pretty normal. My oldest are 19 months apart and they are great friends.
Nicoleoleole
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The day I had my second I felt so guilty that they'd never have my complete attention and never know what it's like to be an only child.
That feeling goes away quickly. You love them both, everyone learns to adjust. That 'extra' time you don't spend with them is okay because they have a sibling to play with and get to bond with them too.
You go from 'oh my gosh, what have I done?' and feeling guilty about that to 'oh my gosh, what have I done?' trying not to lose your mind when they fight!
That feeling goes away quickly. You love them both, everyone learns to adjust. That 'extra' time you don't spend with them is okay because they have a sibling to play with and get to bond with them too.
You go from 'oh my gosh, what have I done?' and feeling guilty about that to 'oh my gosh, what have I done?' trying not to lose your mind when they fight!
Thanks for the replies! I feel a little better. It will be nice for my son to have someone to play with once this one is old enough. Only my family lives near us and he's the only baby in the family. That's why I'm worried about him being jealous since he won't be the only baby anymore.
I spoke with my mum re this when I found out I was expecting my 2nd (lovely surprise 
). My first wasnt even a year old and I felt her babyhood was over and how would I ever love a 2nd as much as I did her. My mum cooly told me the best gift I could give my first was a sibling! And that your heart grows with your children (def true as they are the best of friends now at nearly 4 and 5. Now I hope my mum will accept the news of my 3rd just as well but am v dubious as she also has told me 2 is enough...we will see.....
). My first wasnt even a year old and I felt her babyhood was over and how would I ever love a 2nd as much as I did her. My mum cooly told me the best gift I could give my first was a sibling! And that your heart grows with your children (def true as they are the best of friends now at nearly 4 and 5. Now I hope my mum will accept the news of my 3rd just as well but am v dubious as she also has told me 2 is enough...we will see.....
