feeling like people think I didn't try hard enough

Discussion in 'Postnatal Support' started by isil, Oct 16, 2008.

  1. isil

    isil Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2007
    Messages:
    10,073
    Likes Received:
    0
    I don't want to offend anyone but I need to say this.

    I've been reading lots of birth stories that seem to say that they were going to be taken for a c-section but then they just pushed with all their might to avoid it and then baby was born naturally. I feel like people (on here and in my real life) think that I didn't try hard enough to avoid a c-section.

    But I really did :hissy: I didn't want one and I did push really really hard for a really really long time. If I could go back I'd refuse the c-section and try harder for a bit longer but at the time it didn't seem like there was an option. Maybe there wasn't an option but I think in society people still think c-section mummy's just didn't try hard enough :(
     
  2. Serene123

    Serene123 Guest

    Don't be silly!!! C-sections are traumatic and anyone that goes through one of them is VERY, VERY strong!
     
  3. Whisper

    Whisper Mummy to DD & DS

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2008
    Messages:
    3,146
    Likes Received:
    0
    I understand how you feel hun. I think people sometimes see it as the easy option, which it totally isnt!

    I really really didn't want a c-section either i pushed for 3hours and my LO just wasn't budging!

    Its horrible i don't even feel like i can say i've given birth, coz i haven't really.

    :hugs:
     
  4. LaDY

    LaDY Mummy Of Two xx

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2007
    Messages:
    5,875
    Likes Received:
    0
    Aww you shouldn't feel like that hun...i had a c section too hun...it was awful and traumatic, i had no choice it was the best for my bubs...when i actually had one i couldn't believe so many go through that yet continue to have children...it is awful and not at all does it make you look as though you didn't ty hard enough...you tried your best hun xxx
     
  5. x-amy-x

    x-amy-x Mammy

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2008
    Messages:
    12,978
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hugs: I know you tried with all you might hun. No one WANTS a csection. I know I pushed so hard i blacked out several times! Dont look back and be disappointed with your birth, what happened happened so your boy could be delivered safely.
     
  6. Lizziepots

    Lizziepots Mother of 1 beauty!

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2008
    Messages:
    590
    Likes Received:
    0
    Don't feel that way! I didn't have a c-section and was practically begging for some intervention fo some sort. I was screaming and refusing to push and my contractions stopped and the lot. At least you pushed with all your might whilst you could...I don't think I did. It's a bit ofa blur but I think in the end my poor little baby must have made her own way out. You're a stronger woman than me for a start and I respect you for going through the anaesthetic etc. Wel done I say! :)
     
  7. xarlenex

    xarlenex Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    3,817
    Likes Received:
    0
    Dont be silly, just cause you had a c-section doesnt mean you didnt try hard enough at all! There was obviously a reason why you had to have a c-section, dont beat yourself up about it, it doesnt make you anyless of a person, and certainly not any less of a mother! :hugs:
     
  8. keelykat

    keelykat Guest

    Nonsense! DONT feel bad about having a c-section, look my sister had three! the first being an emergency and she also felt like you are for a while. A friend had a c-section too-her baby just didnt wanna come by herself! i know plenty and none feel bad.

    I reckon its just as scary and hard to have a c-section-so dont be down over it. x x
     
  9. Pyrrhic

    Pyrrhic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2008
    Messages:
    12,995
    Likes Received:
    0
    Exactly, and you followed the best medical advice at the time for you and your baby. That's what's important. The fact you carried a baby safely for nine months and delivered him. Not how he came out.
     
  10. Jinty

    Jinty Proud mummy of Kiara Mei

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2008
    Messages:
    444
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've havn't heard anything about this so it means nothing to me! lol I dont think that people that had c-sections didn't try hard enough. There are reasons to why you had to have a c-section. I would never been able to deal with having a c-section. The thought of having one is so scary I think your really brave! :hugs:
     
  11. babe2ooo

    babe2ooo mum to Jack

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2007
    Messages:
    6,050
    Likes Received:
    0
    omg please dont feel like that, i had to have a c-section to and i pushed and pushed but he was back to back so there was no way i could push him out, anyone that tells you it was an easy way out has never had a c-section b4, they are so hard to recover from you have to be a strong person to get over that, so anyone that says that tell them to stick it and that they have no idea.
     
  12. goofy

    goofy mum of 2

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2008
    Messages:
    301
    Likes Received:
    0
    I had a csection first time round and normal delivery second time round and let me tell u for fact that the c section option is not the easy one. My cousin gave birth a week after my 1st born (normal) and that is all i heard from her - that i had an easier time cos i had the section. It is so not true sometimes the situation is unavoidable. Dont listen to anyone - you did an amazing job. x :hug:
     
  13. Vickie

    Vickie Hannah & Rhys <3

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    68,398
    Likes Received:
    3
    :hugs: I hope that I've never made you feel that way, I barely avoided a C-Section and going back to how horrific it really was sometimes I wonder if I should have just had the section :(
     
  14. Alexas Mommy

    Alexas Mommy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    7,775
    Likes Received:
    58
    that is definitely not the case! you and other mothers are so brave to have had a c section! having a baby by section definitely does not mean you did less work! besides, who cares what other people think! ?
     
  15. isil

    isil Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2007
    Messages:
    10,073
    Likes Received:
    0
    thank you everyone. I feel so much better for getting it off my chest! Noone specific has made me feel this way... if I'm honest I think I am probably interpreting things differently to how they're meant because I'm still so disappointed about it all.

    I do know really that I couldn't have gone on to have a normal birth. His heart rate was all over the place and he was well and truly stuck. It was the best thing for him :) and he is gorgeous, healthy and here - I should be happy with my lot!
     
  16. Vickie

    Vickie Hannah & Rhys <3

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    68,398
    Likes Received:
    3
    you did what was best for you and more importantly your LO :hugs:
     
  17. Teel

    Teel Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2008
    Messages:
    217
    Likes Received:
    0
    I often feel somewhat similar to what your feeling too.

    I had an elective C section, so I didnt even get the option to push, experience the true feeling of birthing at all- I dont know what labour pains feel like, didnt experience the rush of getting to the maternity ward when it "was time".
     
  18. xXhayleyXx

    xXhayleyXx Happy mummy of 6 :)

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2007
    Messages:
    3,259
    Likes Received:
    0
    I also had an emergency section and felt the same way as u.Took me ages to except i wasnt a failure. Just wanted to send u some big hugs xx
     
  19. nikky0907

    nikky0907 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2008
    Messages:
    9,997
    Likes Received:
    0
    Same here.
    I pushed for 4 hours in total in a 49 hour labour.My OB was constantly telling me how 'one more push and you're going in for a section' and I kept wondering why isn't she taking me then?!

    You gave birth,You had your baby inside you for 9 months and gave birth then.Now you have a beautiful baby boy and thats all that matters.
    It was his way of being born,this is how he needed to come out.

    :hugs:
     
  20. doumauk

    doumauk mama to salim,expecting

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2008
    Messages:
    357
    Likes Received:
    0
    Dont ever feel like people think that. People say the same thing about forcep and ventouse deliveries. She threatened me with a c-section because I had been pushing nearly 5 hours and couldnt manage. She finally did a ventouse with me hardly pushing purely because I just couldnt get the strength to push. I felt like a failure for days after because I needed help but people dont think like that.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice