feeling of guilt

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by proud mummy, Oct 20, 2008.

  1. proud mummy

    proud mummy 3 boys and pregnant

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    hey all,

    This is my first month of TTC #2. My son has just turned a year old. Whilst I am happy to have another baby I feel guilty that I have not spent enough time with my son. (Even tho I have had 9 months off with him and only work part time)

    I feel as though I am being selfish and should wait abit longer but on the other hand I think my son would love someone else to play with etc.

    Is it just me or does anyone else feel like this?
     
  2. lisalove

    lisalove Well-Known Member

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    We started ttc when my dd was 11mths, it took us to when she was 17mths before we actually managed to concieve.

    I felt much like you do, I would look forward to going to bed just so I could spend more time with her in the morning. (I worked part time too - afternoons over 4 days). So we always had our morning together, our shower, breaky & playtime before her mid morning nap. I loved it and was scared I would lose that special time we had.

    Anyway we told her about what it would be like to have a baby bro or sis and she really liked the idea, so we went ahead.

    We had our son when she was 26mths and she was thrilled. However, be warned its harder than you ever believed it could be. My dd was never clingy or particularly cuddly... until the baby arrived. Now she is willing to do almost anything to get our attention away from him. Its taken a while, but she tries good behaiviour first and providing we always praise her for the good, we dont see that much bad anymore, esp now she is 3yrs.

    Anyway, I am rambling, but its all working out great. Now he is 11mths (and we are ttc again) they play lovely together. There are a few battles but nothing major. The early days are hard but I would defo recommend it.

    Good luck, hope this helps :hugs:
     
  3. proud mummy

    proud mummy 3 boys and pregnant

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    Thank you Lisa its good to know Im not the only one that feels it. Im going to test today as there is no sign of :witch: although I dont know how long my cycle is as I have just came of the implant. Havent had a period since 21st sept.

    Thanks again and good luck TTC #3 :hug:
     
  4. Tracy B

    Tracy B Well-Known Member

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    Hi
    I have two boys 5 and 3 both born in december, exactly two years between them. I decided when Rio was 1 that I wanted to try again. Took my four months.
    They are best friends and completley love each other, The only thing I would say it that Rio grew up really quick, and I think that was partly our fault as when Mikey came along Rio didnt feel like a baby any more, and we did treat him a lot older and still do than what he was.
    But im so glad we had Mikey when we did because of how close they are, and I know Rio would not want it any different.
    I think its great having them close together, thats why I want another one now as i know unless we win the lotto this will be our last.
    P.S have you tested yet? :hug:
     
  5. proud mummy

    proud mummy 3 boys and pregnant

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    :hug: Hey tracy thanks for your post. No I havent tested yet as I havent got a test in the house. I am going to town this afternoon to get one so Il post on here when I have done it
     
  6. honey08

    honey08 mum2two boys/2mc

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    it might take u a while2conceive hun (not2long i hope!) when i hopefully get pg soon i defo want 2nd baby asap, as me n my bro were only 16mth apart and we were bestest friends growin up,obvioulsey it be hard wrk but then at least ur doin it all 2geva and plus they will av each other :):) if u really feel 2bad then put ttc on hold for few mth :)
     
  7. who's_mummy

    who's_mummy Well-Known Member

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    My eldest two are 3 and 4 with 16mths between them and then 22mths between my middle and youngest. My eldest two play together (and fight!) all of the time and Ollie (middle) misses Will (eldest) like mad when he's not here, he often starts asking at 11am if it's time to collect him from school yet!

    I have absolutely no regrets about having them so close together and am enjoying having a busy household so much that we are even TTC #4 now! I was the youngest at my house with 11 years between myself and my older sister, when I hear other people my age with siblings who are close in age I do feel quite jealous that that is something that I don't have. My sister in law is one of 6 children and it was listening to her speaking about her siblings that has made me want to expand my family more.

    While I agree as well that it can make the eldest one seem more grown up I think that ultimately it is the younger ones that seem more grown up anyway as they have the influences of what their older siblings are interested in rather than being able to revel in the Teletubbies for as long as they want to lol!

    Everybody is different but I love having mine close together and wouldn't change anything, if you still make individual time for each of your children then they may even appreciate that more than having you to themselves all of the time and taking it for granted.

    Good luck!

    Gemma x
     
  8. Jkelmum

    Jkelmum Well-Known Member

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    Ethan is 20 months now and we was ttc 4months ...I think a smal age gap is lovely ...Mine are 13, 8 , 20 months and one due in june i am really looking forward to seeing them grow up so close
     
  9. babytots

    babytots Well-Known Member

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    hi hunni theres a 16 month gap between my daughters and we started ttc pretty much after hollie was born and took us 8 months before i fall pg.

    i too felt like you did but i also wanted my daughter to have a sibling close in age to play with.

    its the best thing i have ever done as they are so close and adore each other. we'll wake up to giggles coming from their room and they laugh at each other. they play together nicely and hollie is forever kissing and cuddling her lil sister.

    charlotte has recently turned 1 and we are ttc again after 2 m/cs.

    again i have those same feelings but i would love to give the girls a baby brother (although a sister would be just as good).

    so your not on your own feeling this way hunni. x
     
  10. srm0421

    srm0421 Mom & PG

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    I only have one child. He is 2 years old and when he was born we decided we wanted a 2 1/2 year age gap. While we have missed that age gap and are getting closer to 3 years i bounce back and forth between if it is fair to him to have to share me but My DH and his sister are almost 6 years apart and he said they did not have much in common. He wanted another one way before our wedding and i should have just started trying then because I am having trouble with my body adjusting off BCPs. I know I want another one soon but I still have my days. I think it is normal to feel a little guilty until it happens then it is exciting to see them interact, then it is crazy when they fight but just think how close they will be when they are older.
     
  11. Katia-xO

    Katia-xO Mummy to 1 & baking #2

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    There's nearly 5yrs between me + my lil bro.. At 1st it wasn't too good lol, i was 2 days off 5 when he was born (he was born on the 28th April, my bday is on the 30th) so obviously all the attention was taken off me for my birthday and as i was old enough to understand it was 'my' day, i didn't take too kindly to him lol. My party was cancelled - i understoond why a few years later but omg did i hold that grudge lol!

    We get along great now though, i advise him on many trivial 11yr old problems haha. But, then again, i'd have around 2/3yrs between my kids.. Giving me enough time to spend with the 1st one before starting again with another, sorta thing. Bigger age gaps aren't too good as the other sibling never understands situations the way you do.
     
  12. Xanthe

    Xanthe Mum of 1 girl & 2 boys

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    Siblings will either get on or not despite the age difference.

    My brother and sister are 8 and 9 years older than me. They've never got on whereas I have always got on with both of them and had lots of fun with them when I was younger.

    I think people stress too much about age gaps. It all boils down to personalities in the end.
     

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