Feeling of not being able to cope.

[firework]

I dont know whats wrong with me the past 9 months have been really hard with Reflux issues and problems with my own health and lack of sleep but now things have started to get better and things have been a lot easier on us. The months and months of screaming and irritability it seemed had started to pass and things were looking up, but I cant cope when dexter has a bad day or week .
I always used to and ive been so strong but lately for some reason I dont know if its teeth, reflux or weaning as we have started a new food but he has started making really funny noises when latching on a kinda *ah ah ah ah ah* and moving his head from side to side messing around, I only breastfeed at night and naps and he tests my patience, Ive finally got him to settle at around 7pm in his bouncer on his own and am yet to move him into a cot again, but his naps have been awful, sometimes he wont settle for the morning one so I skip it, then we go up around 2pm and he sleeps, im thinking he must be shattered and then he wakes within half hour screaming and irritable and bright red in the face. He wont go back off to sleep.

By which time as we share a bed and nap together (I need it to due to lack of sleep ) i have JUST dropped off and im awoken to this, and I feel so bad tempered and I just want him away from me, I call for my partner to come and get him and I just cant bare to be around him, I cant even stand to listen to him, I just wanna crawl away and hide, but then knowing my partner hasnt stopped all day I cant relax anyway and tho he says I dont have to I feel I have to go back.

I feel so guilty as for those moments I cant bare to look at him and I just want to walk away, I dont understand it, the rest of the time im so patient, today I walked the dog it really helped and then I look at dex and feel so bad about it, please help xx

 

[Loubpop]

I really feel for you. I also had a tough time with LO and my own health. The lack of sleep doesnt help matters.

Does he sleep through the night?

My LO feeds the same way. She has recently started messing bout during them and it is so stressful. She does the *ah ah* thing too.

Do you guys go out much? I have found that going to baby massage really helped us bond and gives us a purpose for the day. If you dont, maybe you could go to a play group together, it just breaks the day up a little.

 

[wanna-b-mummy]

I am so sorry you're feeling like this. Firstly, you should not feel guilty at all sweetie. Personally, I think you're very tired and need a bit of TLC. When my son was about 2 weeks old, he caught a bad cold and cough and didn't want to sleep anywhere or at any time. I evicted OH to the sofa and co-slept and would be so tired by the end of the day that I'd be practically sobbing with frustration as I'd be dropping off and within 30 mins, he'd wake up crying and whining and upset. The poor thing was so ill . At first I coped (I think I was just on auto pilot) but after about a week living on shitty night's sleeps and having to console him all day and couldn't leave him, I broke down. I remember saying I just wanted to shut myself in a pitch dark room in silence and just leave the world for just one day. Once I remember he cried non-stop for about half an hour and was so red and angry (and rightly so, the poor little bub had such a bad cough) that I just plonked him on OH's lap and ran and shut the door in the bathroom and just sat and cried.
Tiredness and sleep deprivation is thrown about quite lightly but it completely effed my head up. Not only that, but that mixed with your hormones which are also plummeting and swishing about for months after giving birth... it's a horrible cocktail and takes its toll!

It's normal to feel like you just want to get away. Looking after a baby that naps and gives you breaks is tiring enough, let alone a baby that is very upset and restless. We're not super heroes, we're human beings, and anyone would feel tired and irritable and emotional when dealing with this Don't feel like you're a bad person or not normal for feeling this way.

I truly think if your son was sleeping for a couple of hours in a day and having a good stint of sleep at night meaning you had time to rest and get proper sleep, you'd feel 100 times better. And that WILL happen. Just when you think he'll never sleep again, he'll turn a corner and start sleeping longer. He's probably having a growth/development spurt and that always makes them act up and act strangely.

Would your partner agree to one night a week sleeping with him and you sleeping in a different room while this is happening? Just one night where you can rest assured your baby is in safe hands and you can completely shut off and have a night of uninterrupted sleep. How about family? I didn't realise it was the tiredness that was making me feel so low until my mum made me let her have him over night. I slept 13 hours that night and woke up feeling so much better and she bought him back late morning.
Is there a family member that could have your baby once a week or fortnight over night until you're feeling better? Just having one or two night's a week of good sleep and some you time will help you so much I think.

You're doing great hun, you're just having a bit of a rough time. I hope you're okay

x