Feeling Powerless & Hopeless

[Safiregiirl]

Hi, I'm 24 years old and 15 weeks pregnant -- completely unplanned and with my boyfriend who I've been seeing for just under a year.

I don't know where to begin...we had some terrible fights before I was pregnant. He's punched holes in two of our doors and a wall. Now that I'm pregnant, we fight less...but only because I've given up having an opinion or a life outside of our apartment. And the few times we did fight...he just lost it. I know he has anger management issues, but he scared me. One time, he threw me down the stairs (I wasn't hurt), telling me to get the hell out. Another time, he started throwing things at me in our bedroom, and something heavy split the skin on my forehead. Tonight, he was upset when I tried to pull my hand from his, and he punched me in the arm before smashing my phone and driving off. I can't even remember what we fought about, just minor things. But it gets worse...

I've had HG, throwing up and feeling queasy on and off throughout every day. Because of this, I lost a new job for missing too much work. My boyfriend says it's all fine, and I don't even need to work. But I'm stressed, and I know that he must be stressed too. He's not very understanding about my health, but I figure he's just a clueless guy. He tells me it's all in my head.

Part of me loves him, part of me feels trapped with him -- because I'm having his child, I'm financially dependent, we live together, and i honestly feel to sick to do anything. What do I do? I can't just leave, because I have no where to go. And part of me doesn't want to go.

 

[StarryEyed88]

I’m so sorry You’re in this predicament!! You shouldn’t be treated this way. Do you have support from friends or family who can help you?? Or a shelter in your local area. If he is violent it’s not a safe environment for you or your baby to be in.

I am truely sorry you’re in this situation and I hope you’re able to get the help and support you need. I was in the same situation when I was younger. I ended up moving interstate in order to escape.

Also, for more responses I’d try and move this to another forum like Homelife and Relationships. Not many ladies will see this one only because it’s a section that contains groups rather than individual posts

 

[sevenofnine]

I know you don’t want to go, and that is ultimately your decision. But my guess is the majority of people on here will tell you that you need to find a safe place to go... whether that be a shelter, family, friends... explain the predicament and try to get somewhere safe.

In these situations, the abuser never changes. Even if they say they will. It’s very possible that you and your child’s life will be at risk. An adult can handle being pushed down the stairs or having something thrown at them, but a baby can’t. I’m not saying he would deliberately try to hurt a child, but caught in the crosswinds it’s hard to say.

Unfortunately this is one of those things that is ultimately your decision and yours alone. I’m sorry that you’re being treated this way. It’s not normal, not even a little. No one should EVER be treated like that, even if it’s only once in a while. “Anger management” issues is putting it lightly. It’s abuse.

I’m really not trying to be mean, but I’ve had friends go through this, and it’s so, so hard.

 

[SusanV1994]

You do not deserve to be punched for pulling your hand away. You have the right to say no. Is there family that might take you? If not, I know of a couple of place that help single pregnant mothers that you might want to try. Places such as Covenant House and Mercy Multiplied help young pregnant woman who do not have a safe place get on their feet.