Feeling sad for Daisy

[Jchihuahua]

Apologies for typos, I'm using my phone.

Daisy has been at preschool for 6 months and loves it. She's a sociable and friendly girl and will happily go and join a group of children who are playing. If we are in the park or wherever she will talk to any child! She really loves one particular girl who she has known for about 18 months from toddler group and now preschool. This girl is almost a year older than her and will be starting school this year. Daisy always plays with her at preschool and at home she talks about her, calls her toys after her and says she is her best friend. When she is listing people she loves she always says this girl.

This week Daisy has been really quiet and subdued and not keen to go to preschool which is unheard of. Then a few days ago she said out of the blue ' B doesn't like me anymore mummy.' I asked why and she said ' she goes off to play with E and they said they don't like me. They keep forgetting me and running away and hiding and if I find them they push me'. I felt so sad for her . She's never known what it feels like to be left out and rejected before. I am worried it will put her off approaching children to play as she's always done this confidently before. Then yesterday at bedtime she said 'B shouted at me and they said I'm just a baby' then tonight she said 'I haven't got any best friends anymore. They don't like me.'

It is just breaking my heart. I don't want her to feel like this at 3 years old . She's such a happy and friendly girl and she is not used to people being unfriendly to her. My hubby spoke to her key worker today and she said she had been wondering why Daisy hadn't been playing with her usual friends this week. Hubby asked her if she could just keep an eye on her and direct her to play with other children if she's looking unhappy so hopefully tomorrow will be better for her. These girls are all leaving preschool in July anyway while Daisy has another year so I hope she'll make some other friends and be happy again at preschool. It's a horrible feeling knowing your child is unhappy when you're not there to look after them .

 

[_Vicky_]

Ohhh gawd thats made me cry!!!! Poor little love you just want to protect them forever don't you - big hugs to you both. only a month or so and they won't be together anymore

Xxxxxxx

 

[CandyDay]

awww that is so sad. Hope she finds some new friends soon and I am sure tha she will. Good to know the school will try and redirect her.

 

[Cleo]

Oh no! That makes me so sad for poor Daisy She seems way too young to be going through that already. It is good that the school will be looking out for her but still, so upsetting for you both.

 

[Jchihuahua]

Thanks ladies. This week is the first time since she started I have really really wanted to keep her at home and not send her. I hope she has a nicer day today .

 

[Ceejay123]

Owh that made me so sad! poor daisy x

 

[minties]

That is so sad, I really feel for her. She sounds like such a lovely girl.

My 'friends' all did this to me at school various times between the age of 5 and 10 (same group of friends), it was so hurtful. I'm 30 now and one of the girls added me on facebook just to apologise, she remembered it all! Was so nice.

 

[polaris]

That is so sad, poor Daisy. I'm glad that her keyworker knows and will be looking out for her. But it's still just heart-breaking isn't it, you just don't want your child to ever have to experience those types of feelings.

 

[KellyGarcia]

Poor little Daisy - she sounds like a lovely girl too. It is so heartbreaking isn't it? You want to march in there and sort it all out! Well, if they don't want to have a loving, caring best friend like Daisy then they don't deserve her! I am sure she will meet other friends her own age very soon. They are quite resilient at this age (thankfully) but it still hurts to have to learn such a horrible life lesson so early.

My little boy is really sensitive and seems to want to be "best friends" with everyone he meets so is really hurt when some other children don't want to be his friend. He is learning though... Slowly. It is horrible to see them go through it though.

Hope you and Daisy are feeling a bit better.

 

[Natsku]

Oh poor Daisy, thats so sad

 

[rosie272]

They might be best friends again today! Kids are so contrary with the 'best friends' list. I actually had to have a word with Charlie about this from the other side - he has 3 best friends in nursery and the 4 of them are really close (outside nursery as well) but I overheard Charlie telling another little boy very matter of factly that he wasn't to play with them Charlie plays with random strangers at parks, softplay etc so it was horrible to hear him exclude this little boy. He seemed to understand when I explained that he can't say that to anyone because they are all friends together. I don't want my son to make anyone feel like that - but it wasn't said with malice or anything but didn't make it easy to hear. Hope things are better for Daisy today

 

[Hunbun]

That is such shame, poor Daisy!

I dread when something like this happens to Nathan. But I think you and your OH handled it very well. I hope she makes some new friends soon and gets back to her cheery self!

 

[gingajewel]

Meg has this happen to her aswell, it broke my heart too! She has been at nursery since she was 9 months old but because she is so shy she only has one friend, b, who she wants to do everything with.

On Monday she told me b pushed her over and told her they weren't friends anymore. It broke my heart because I no she probably spent the time she was at nursery by herself and because she is so shy she wouldn't approach anyone to play with.

Today b has told her they were friends but not best friends! It makes me want to stay at home with her!!

 

[RedRose]

Oh bless her little heart! What a sweet girl. It's so horrible to not be able to protect them from hurt feelings like this. It sounds like she's in good hands though and they will be keeping her busy. I'm sure as sad as it is to see, her teachers will be used to seeing this and will be on hand to help her through.

Aww I want to send her a virtual hug!

Something a bit similar happened to us this morning- there is a girl at preschool that Lily idolises and talks about all the time. So this morning as soon as she took her coat off she went and sat with this girl and started playing the same game and the little girl told her off! And said lily is always copying her and she doesn't like it. Lily is sensitive in the same way as Daisy and I know her feelings were hurt. Luckily her teacher was there and took over and lily joined in but oh my godddd I just wanted to pick her up and bring her home with me!

Why do they have to grow up!

Sorry didn't mean to make that post all about lily but I just wanted you know that I know where you are coming from!

 

[Shiv]

That is so sad, did Daisy have a better day today? I really hope so.
I actually believe that children of only 4 years old will say such mean things (and not just a one off but several times), I really hoped that the whole you're too young/too little/too (insert whatever reason here) to play with us stuf wouldn't start until later.
Sophia is pretty shy and doesn't really have any friends at preschool but will happily play along side anyone (iykwim), and I have always felt sorry that she didn't have close friends, but maybe it is better that way, less chance of getting hurt. I am so scared about her going to school and getting bullied

 

[Jchihuahua]

Thanks for the replies ladies.

Aww poor Lily . It is just heartbreaking seeing them hurt or rejected when they have never felt that way in their whole life before. It must be so confusing for them to find out people aren't always nice to them.

The staff told hubby she'd been okay today, kept away from the girls she usually plays with and joined in with activities that other children were doing. They said she was subdued and not her bubbly self though.

She refused to say anything about pre-school to me when I got home from work. She said 'Don't talk about it please mummy' so I left it. She's usually desperate to tell me all about it . She has been really tearful, proper sobbing tears this evening over nothing too. She really isn't herself so I hope the break over the weekend makes things easier for her. She is such a deep thinker and feels things really deeply and is also quite grown up for her age so I think she's really taken things to heart. On Monday they are having a stay and play and father's day assembly sort of thing so hubby will be there for the whole session which is good as he can keep an eye on her too.

I work with pre-school and reception age kids and often the older ones at pre-school are just so ready for school by this point in the year and have grown out of pre-school and see the younger ones as babies.

 

[RedRose]

I work with pre-school and reception age kids and often the older ones at pre-school are just so ready for school by this point in the year and have grown out of pre-school and see the younger ones as babies.

That makes sense. Do you think maybe when Daisy wants to talk about it, it would help if you explained it to her in that way. Like just said that these girls are a year older now and they sometimes think they are much more grow up than they are, but that doesn't mean that daisy has done anything wrong etc and next year she may feel the same as them and what will she do etc?

Do you think that would help maybe? Interested to see what you think cos then I can say the same to Lily if I need to

 

[karlilay]

poor Daisy! I had an incident with Madi like this a while ago, she told me she has no one to play with or talk to at school p. her little friend also didnt want to know her.
I was so worried, but you know what it lasted all of about a week and now they're best friends again.
Try not to worry... Xx

 

[Jchihuahua]

I work with pre-school and reception age kids and often the older ones at pre-school are just so ready for school by this point in the year and have grown out of pre-school and see the younger ones as babies.

That makes sense. Do you think maybe when Daisy wants to talk about it, it would help if you explained it to her in that way. Like just said that these girls are a year older now and they sometimes think they are much more grow up than they are, but that doesn't mean that daisy has done anything wrong etc and next year she may feel the same as them and what will she do etc?

Do you think that would help maybe? Interested to see what you think cos then I can say the same to Lily if I need to

Yes, when she does want to talk about it I think I will explain it like that and just hope she understands. 3 must be a hard age really as they can't always understand why things happen .

Karli, I remember your post about Madi. I'm glad she is happy again at pre-school now x

 

[sweetlullaby]

Oh no poor daisy I really hope the other girls come round after the weekend. Matthew really takes things to heart as well it's heartbreaking seeing them so sad