Feeling so emotional and negative

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by laura6914, Dec 14, 2009.

  1. laura6914

    laura6914 Proud mummy #2 on the way

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    Sorry about this girls but i need to get it off my chest and have no one else to really talk to.

    After 2 years and a bit of TTC im really starting to feel its never going to happen. Im on my first month of clomid and CD7 so it may be a side effect of the pill thats making me soooo emotional but i cant picture me getting a :bfp: or holding my baby. Why is it soooo difficult.
    Ive always been successful in everything i have done so why cant i do this?
    Why is it just not happening?
    I just cant see this clomid working. I was feeling so positive when i started it and now its all changed. Its heart breaking when you want something so badly, bordering on dersperation and its just not happening.
    :cry::cry::cry:
     
  2. fairydust1984

    fairydust1984 Member

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    you will get there eventually hun fingers crossed for you keep your chin up.:flower:
     
  3. TTC4+yrs

    TTC4+yrs Well-Known Member

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    I am so sorry you are going through this, I am almost at 5 years TTC now. It is so hard to stay positive. It will happen, that what I keep telling myself....

    Lots of babydust to you and a BFP!!!

    xo
     
  4. WANBMUM

    WANBMUM I am a mama

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    Hi laura, you are certainly not alone pet. We have been trying for almost a year now and ntnp for almost 2 years and i feel exactly like you, I want it soooosooo much more than anything else in the world but i cant see it happening, i can never forsee even getting a BFP :( I have wanted a baby all of my life and it just wont happen.

    Ive never been on Clomid so i cant comment on that, i think your emotions are all a part of the TTC journey- i think it just hits you at different times.

    wishing you all the luck in the world :flower:
     
  5. laura6914

    laura6914 Proud mummy #2 on the way

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    Thanks ladies, its just so hard when its the one thing your supposed to be able to do as a woman, and i just cant. Its killing me.
    My sister (love her to pieces) has two gorgeous daughter, both conceived without even trying. Why cant it be that easy for me?

    How do you manage to stay positive. Im normally ok but today i feel like ive ran into a huge brick wall face first and i just cant seem to get over it. :cry:

    xx
     
  6. kitty_girl

    kitty_girl Well-Known Member

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    awww honey hugs for you, we have only been trying a week and im so impatient i cant begin to imagine how you feel xxxx chin up xxxx

    We are here to vent to x
     
  7. laura6914

    laura6914 Proud mummy #2 on the way

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    thank kitty, i hope you get a speedy :bfp:
    Thanks for listening. My other half just dont seem to understand how it feels, he wants it just as bad as me and gets upset to but cant see why im so upset.

    xxx
     
  8. kitty_girl

    kitty_girl Well-Known Member

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    Unfotunatly they dont alot of the time, my OH thinks i have turned into a possessed dictionary of ovulation at the moment!! and he is like where is the romance... and im like ROMANCE!!!!! i will be romantic when i get my \BFP!!!

    **** throws baby dust snowballs at you****
     
  9. Dancingkaty1

    Dancingkaty1 Well-Known Member

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    hi....we have been ttc number 2 for 17 mths now :( im on my 2nd cycle of clomid & i felt exactly the same as you, i started cycle 1 so optimistic & excited.....but then started to think omg what if this doesnt get me preg??!!! unfortunately it didnt :( but it def did make me ovulate so im still trying it for at least another 2 mths......my fs prescribed me 6 mths worth but im worried to take more than 3 mths of it incase they turn around when we possibly go for iui & say sorry u have had ur 6 mths!! Have heard sooo many success stories using clomid so fingers crossed you & i both will get our long awaited bfp's very soon!! xx
     
  10. WANBMUM

    WANBMUM I am a mama

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    Im not sure about staying positive, i think just keeping busy, I think one month rolls into another so quickly when you look back, at the time it doesnt but staying positive and temping or opks kind of keep my mind off it, or keep me busy the next month. Having a good cry when you need to helps too.

    Ya my OH doesnt really understand, when I say af is coming - i kind of see him looking at me to check out my reaction, I think he is the one to stay positve and try not to dwell on it, whereas i am sure he is as disappointed aswell. They know for sure it pisses us off, but are afraid if we do it openly every month we will turn into psychopaths, which i am sure we would be if we didnt carry ourselves out of the depression.

    I look at so many people each day and wonder why I cant be so lucky,when i have wanted it and so ready for it and would cherish every minute of it, why why why why cant I have it. Some people dont even have to think about getting pregnant, it just happens. anyway dont get me started.

    Hope your ok? chin up :thumbup:
     
  11. WANBMUM

    WANBMUM I am a mama

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    Ya when we started TTC my DH was like 'would u relax and let it happen' when i was talking about dates and temps etc etc. Now as it is not happening, each month he is getting more and more determined for us to catch the little eggy. I just picture my eggs running away from all his men, saying na na na na na.....
     
  12. mrshuse8pound

    mrshuse8pound Well-Known Member

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    Well don't feel bad at all. I know what you mean about feeling like as a WOMAN it's the one thing we should be able to do right. And let's not even start on the people that get pregnant and then act like "Oh well...." which only further adds to the pain, like rubbing salt in an open wound.

    This Thanksgiving I felt the same way. I've been trying for 2+ years also and NADA. Went home with OH and well the pressure was on from his Dad and Godfather slying mentioning how they can't "wait for our grandbabies" to his best friends g/f actually touching my belly and saying "Nope it's not hard yet." It didn't bother me but it puts unnecessary pressure there that I don't need right now as if feeling inadequate as a woman is not pressure enough.

    OH and I handle it well. Our rule is there is NO TALK at all about TTC allowed in the house. I do not tell him when I'm "O'ing". When AF comes I just send him a text and we always make it a point to do something fun that I want to do on those days, such as dinner out, getting a new movie, doing something around the house. That's the only way I can survive because we had the TTC conversation one time and I broke down so bad we agreed to never do it again.

    Please believe everysingle woman here shares this pain yet all we can do is be patient. We aren't forgotten it's just not OUR turn yet....
     
  13. kitty_girl

    kitty_girl Well-Known Member

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    Thats a lovely philosophy :flower:
     
  14. mrshuse8pound

    mrshuse8pound Well-Known Member

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    Kitty Girl, thank you.
    It works for us :)
     
  15. laura6914

    laura6914 Proud mummy #2 on the way

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    Thank you girls for all your replies.

    Im feeling hell of a lot better today. Went home afert work last night, watched Amanda Holden midwife programme. Broke down in tears. Cried to my other half about how its not working. Had the 'why us' convo. Woke up this moring feeling like a different person and more positive. Im still in with a chance this month and im determined to relax enjoy christams and hope it happens.

    Thanks for all your kind words. I hope it happens for us all soon and we arent kept waiting too much longer. Heres hoping 2010 is our year.

    :dust: to you all.

    xxx
     
  16. mememe84

    mememe84 Well-Known Member

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    Hi hang in there it took me just over 30 months to conceive after a mc. I too thought it would never happen but i am so glad it did x
     
  17. laura6914

    laura6914 Proud mummy #2 on the way

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    Ah congratulations hunny. Really pleased for you. May i ask if its not too personal. Did you conceive again naturally or did you need medical intervention?
    xxx
     
  18. fifi-folle

    fifi-folle C (7/11) & C (10/12)

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    My DH thinks my egg has sentries set up at the cervix that attack the swimmers and that my eggs are armour plated!

    Glad you are feeling more positive Laura, Clomid increases a number of hormones which can't help how you're feeling, fingers crossed it works for you this time!
     
  19. laura6914

    laura6914 Proud mummy #2 on the way

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    Love it, im sure mine are the same.

    Thank you, i know it was just the clomi causing me to feel down, but the doubts have been there a long time the tablets just magnified them i think.
    xx
     
  20. wantingno.2

    wantingno.2 2 princes + a princess

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    awwww Laura chin up girl..... we're heading towards ov we need a pma!!!

    glad your feeling better today x
     

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