feeling so rubbish!

[lisa_33]

hi girls, just feel like a moan i suppose! feel so rubbish, i am getting so big ( already have a high bmi) that everything is a struggle....feels like i cant breathe grr i dont know how i will cope over next while. its getting me really down. i have a 12 year old dd, who has been so jealous after finding out were having a girl at mondays scan. i have tried talking to her, reasurring her and nothing works, she seems so hust by it, me and dh are scared to get to excitied round her. i am sorry this post is such a waste of time, just basicly a good old whinge!! xx

 

[Caramel]

Oh hun, firstly big xx I had a really bad week last week too. Started getting stretchmarks on my BB's and for the first time my bump started causing me discomfort. I felt really resentful of how much my body had already changed, and how it was only going to change more, and get bigger going forward which made me feel so overwhelmed. But you know it turned out to be just a little phase and this week I'm back to loving my bump and I'm in a great mood again. I think it's natural to feel a bit down or low about the effect pregnancy's having on your body every now and again even at this stage of the pregnancy.

As for your daughter, I'm having my first so can't speak from experience, but perhaps she just needs a bit of time to take it in. I'm sure she'll get there, just be patient and keep reassuring her like you already are and no doubt she'll come around in the end xx

 

[golcarlilly]

Sorry you are feeling crap atm, we all have periods where we feel down and it is completely normal

Don't know what advice to give on your DD really other than just re-assuring her as you have been, do you think she would have felt differently if it was a boy or has she been jealous from the start? I have a DD who is 15 and atm she is really happy she is finally getting to be 'big sis' and is looking forward to helping out when LO is born (hope this doesn't change!)

 

[PrincessSoph]

 

[cs22]

 

[first alien]

sorry to feel you feel down. i'm a step mother and hubby has a little girel. i'd love a little girl of my own but know it'll be harder for her to have a little sister to share her daddy with. she has begun to get over the "my daddy" stage but i still know she is jealous of my relationship with him. we haven't told her yet as we only see her every other weekend and thats if her mother will let her! despite a court order!!!
we finally decided last night to find out what the little one is and i cant wait but am anxious about telling her. it wont make any difference to how we treat her or feel for her.
i hope you leittle girl will come around to the idea. it may be because she has been used to being your little girl and is worried that will change. try and keep her involved in all decisions you can, like the nursery and helping buying clothes.
x

 

[lisa_33]

thanks girls, i so hope it passes i am going to go for a long walk today...maybe when i am back at work on monday it will help even tho i hate it, it will stop me focusing on how rubbish i feel. as for my daughter, i can only hope she will come round, i think if it had been a liilt boy it would have been much better as then she would still be the only girl. i told her i would show her some of her baby things so she could that i was just as excitied when she was born. i am kinda torn between sympathy and sort of ignoring it, dont know what to do!! ah the joys xxx

 

[golcarlilly]

It is probably just one of the stages they go through! I am sure she will be thrilled once LO is here! Have you taken her shopping to buy things for the baby? My DD loved picking little outfits last week!

 

[lisa_33]

well i have tried to ask her, even my mum asked her and she replied with she would rather go shopping for things for herself! shes very arty so i asked her to try and design the nursery, whih she just didnt reply to. i tried to have a good talk with her, and she was sobbing her heart out, saying she knows shes being selfish but shes worried this baby will have a better child hood than her. everything i said she had an answer for. the thing is ive always felt both my children were secure in knowing how much i love them. this is my husbands first and only child of his own, and its unfair to expect him to hide his excitment. xx

 

[golcarlilly]

I think I can see the problem, am I right in thinking that you have two kids to a previous marriage? (I am on my second one and this will my hubby's first - and prob only child) I think it sounds like she is afraid that this baby will make yours and hubby's life complete and that she will not be a proper part of that, almost as thought this baby will replace her in your affections? How old was she when you split up from her Dad?

I might be wrong but that is what just struck me from what you said

 

[lisa_33]

yeah you could be right, when i split with her dad, she was 4 and was fine, dont get me wrong it was difficlult but really she was ok.it was her brother who took it really bad. even now she doesnt have much to do with him as she doesnt really like him. her and my dh get on well, and he works offshore, so i still have plenty of times when its just me and the kids. she just came in and said that the nursery is really small for when baby gets bigger, i laughed and said dont worry u wont have to share your room and u could see the relief on her face! xx

 

[dizzy duck]

Im sorry you are feeling so rubbish, I go through stages of this too try not to worry its pretty normal. Im sure your DD will come round, it will just take time, take care XX

 

[peekers]

i just wanted to send you some hugs and say im sorry u are feeling so crap

 

[golcarlilly]

Aww bless! I hope she does come round to the idea, I am sure she will as the time gets nearer