Feeling very ungrateful :(

[luci and bump]

So before xmas, my OH asked me to write a list of suggestions for xmas presents I would like. I did, and it included big things and little things, because I wasn't sure what our budget was.
He pretty much ignored the entire thing. I asked for a necklace, some gin, gloves, a family calendar, mascara that I can't normally afford, and other bits and pieces.
I got bought a gap hoody (oh always complains that I live in hoodies, so not sure what happened there!) A skinny calendar, a purse I reeeally dislike :/ and a really posh whittards hot chocolate and mug set, with marshmallows. I don't like hot chocolate :/ he also told me how he was planning loads of lovely stocking bits. Normally we put toiletries, stationary, little nick nacks in stockings. I normally spend about 30-40 on stocking bits. After him telling me how amazing my stocking would be, it consisted of a selection box, 2 bags of twirl bits, and some foam shrimps :/
I know I'm 27 and I should know better, but I can't help but feel really disappointed and ungrateful
I don't feel like I can tell him either, because it'd hurt his feelings. I just feel like, why ask for a list if you're just going to completely ignore it??
Just a pointless rant really!!

 

[PrincessLeah]

Bless him, they are useless aren't they?! It sounds like he did a bit of a last minute job imo!
I sent my OH an email with a link to the gift I wanted, back in October. And he never got around to buying it and got me something for Christmas that I can't use, which will soon be going on ebay. It was a nail set but I hate pushing back my cuticles and I can't abide using emery boards, I only use metal nail files.
Then, when I asked him about the link I had sent him, he hurriedly went online and ordered it, but didn't check the delivery address as we moved house this year. And of course, it has been posted to our old address, never to be seen again.
Like you, I sometimes wonder why I bother!

 

[luci and bump]

I know he didn't get paid til the 21st ish, but he said he'd started way before that. I feel terrible, because the purse was expensive, and its the make I love, but the colour is vile, and the picture on it isn't anything special. And, its bloody enormous!!! He bought me one for my birthday that was perfect, but my bag got stolen last month, so this was a replacement.
I've asked him so many times for a nice necklace, am starting think think it'll never arrive!! God knows what I'm gonna do with all this hot choc and the mug! I dislike all hot drinks I don't even like marshmallows, so can't even make use of that part!!
Luckily he took the hint of "I want that!!" And bought me "now thats what I call disney" and my mum and little brother went halves on a smallprints charm, so at least I got something I love. Men!!!!

 

[PrincessLeah]

I know he didn't get paid til the 21st ish, but he said he'd started way before that. I feel terrible, because the purse was expensive, and its the make I love, but the colour is vile, and the picture on it isn't anything special. And, its bloody enormous!!! He bought me one for my birthday that was perfect, but my bag got stolen last month, so this was a replacement.
I've asked him so many times for a nice necklace, am starting think think it'll never arrive!! God knows what I'm gonna do with all this hot choc and the mug! I dislike all hot drinks I don't even like marshmallows, so can't even make use of that part!!
Luckily he took the hint of "I want that!!" And bought me "now thats what I call disney" and my mum and little brother went halves on a smallprints charm, so at least I got something I love. Men!!!!

Can you exchange the purse at the store? Everything else just goes on ebay

 

[luci and bump]

I'm not sure where he got it from its a radley purse, so he could have bought it from them directly, or from a department store. Plus I think he'd be upset if he knew I didn't like it. Am hoping it grows on me I guess!!

 

[icklemonster]

Have you started using the radley purse already? If not, could you just explain that you really love him and think it was so thoughtful that he got you a Radley purse, say that means a ton, but just it is a little big to keep in your handbag(s), and when spending that much on a purse you want something you'll be able to use all the time. Also, say something to soften the blow, like you really want a plastic compartment to keep a picture of him in (saying it doesn't have a plastic wallet section). Then ask if there is any chance he has the receipt so you can exchange it. I would much rather DH got something he liked and was honest if it wasn't quite him, so that I can learn for future what his fave styles are. Obviously I don't know your OH or your situation, so if he's easily offended I can understand your hesitation.

 

[Abz1982]

This is why I dont leave it up to OH. I needed a hair dryer...I got him to buy. My dad is useless as well so he just takes us shopping and we pick. and my mum just gets me chocolate

 

[PrincessLeah]

I'm not sure where he got it from its a radley purse, so he could have bought it from them directly, or from a department store. Plus I think he'd be upset if he knew I didn't like it. Am hoping it grows on me I guess!!

To be honest, my OH would be upset if he bought me a gift which was no use to me (such as your hot choc mug, for example. And my nail set!). His feelings would be more hurt if I pretended to like something that I didn't.
Not saying that I would be a bitch about it to him, but we expect each other to be honest. Like if I cook a new meal and need his opinion, I always tell him to be truthful or he'll only end up having to eat it again! See what I'm saying?

 

[smileyfaces]

Id say it wont fit comfortably in your bag so can you swap it for something smaller. Its not ungrateful btw. Last year I got a mattress topper for xmas (yes really!) because Id moaned that the bed was uncomfy so he thought he was doing me a favour. They think they are doing the right thing but they should just get what we ask for instead of choosing themselves

Eta: I actually said why have you bought me this?! when I opened it lol, his feelings werent hurt. Just be as honest as you can x

 

[missk1989]

My DH got me the same cd 2 years in a row

I didnt tell him, I find that is the problem with stockings. You just buy a load of junk to fill them. We decided against it for eachother this year. I would say as others have suggested that it is too big.

 

[seoj]

I know it's not fun to say "I don't like this"- so, like mentioned, just tell him you appreciate the purse (the thought)- but that you really need one bigger (or smaller)- or opposite whatever he got and would he mind if you exchanged it?

tbh- I didn't get really anything much for xmas that I liked (other than money! ha!). I don't think I'm picky- and you'd think after all these years my hubby and teenager would KNOW me well enough... but oye! I got 4 different scarves that are honestly not me. At all. Like color wise or otherwise... so, I simply told my hubby would he mind if I exchanged his (he was ok with it)- he got me a few other things I liked for my bday- so least he did good there (cause I was specific! lol). My teenager got me a lovely robe for my bday- but I just returned the scarves... I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I said they were lovely but I needed lighter ones (these were very heavy and more for winter)... I think it's better to exchange than hold onto something you won't use or dislike?

I think I'm a great gift giver (usually)- I always really think about what the other person would like/want/wear- not my own taste, but theirs. But, tbh, I rarely find other people do the same. I mean, my teenager works at Dutch Bros coffee- so we get free coffee all the time- and everyone I know knows this, yet I still got Starbucks gift cards for Xmas?! LOL. It's the thought that counts though right?