Feeling Worried

[MrsC10]

This may sound extremely selfish.......one of my close friends has been seeing her BF for coming up to 18 months. They moved in together in June last year. I'm really happy for them and love them both to bits.

I was having a conversation with my mate and she was saying that they had been talking about starting a family. Not right now, but maybe towards the end of the year. I immediately panicked. My husband and I have been TTC for 3 years now with no luck. I just thought 'what if she becomes pregnant and has a baby before me'. I just wanted to cry. My husband and I really want to have a child. It just hasn't happened for us yet.

I'm just worried that my friend will have her bundle of joy and I'll still be left empty handed. Sounds totally selfish, I know. But I really can't help how I feel

 

[Tink86]

I know its hard, i feel like that some times. A close friend of mine is getting married next year and she jokes saying 'dont worry i wont get pregnant before you' but i think i would be gutted if she actually did. I have lost count of how many babies our friends and family have had in the time we have been TTC. I got to a point where i wouldnt go and visit them, because it was just too upsetting. Im sure if you mentioned to your friend that you have been TTC and are finding it difficult, then they might be a bit more sensitive when the time comes.

Your not alone in thinking the way you are, its just a thought process we have all been through...

Good luck

 

[purplecupcake]

We're just human. We're competitive and jealous when someone else has what we want. Its normal and fine that you feel that way. As long as you don't let your feelings dictate how you behave, it's a nonissue.

Maybe try to look at it through some optimistic lenses...maybe you will end up being pregnant together!

 

[MrsC10]

Thanks. She knows that we are TTC, but she doesn't know that we're finding it difficult. I've just said that we've not really been putting that much pressure for it to happen. Which isn't true really. I've relaxed a lot recently on OPKs and all that, but I have irregular cycles which stress me out.
I just feel really bad. I should be happy and excited for her, but I know how hard it is and I know that if she falls pregnant quickly I'll just be really sad and jealous, which is not how I want to be. I suppose it's something that I just need to get used to xx

 

[Tink86]

Try and stay positive x (you might get pregnant before her)

 

[MrsC10]

Try and stay positive x (you might get pregnant before her)

I hope that's true. I've had a bit of quiet time to think about it and am trying to see it from a positive side. Some sleep (I've worked 13 days straight now for 12 hours a day) and some me time will put things into perspective. Thank you ladies. It's nice to know that others have or are feeling like this xx

 

[octoberlove]

I feel exactly the same way. I have a few friends that I know are going to start TTC in a few months and I'm absolutely terrified that they're going to conceive before DH and I. Our first pregnancy ended in a MC that very few people knew about so we have been very quiet about TTC. I know it's selfish but there's nothing I can do to change how I feel. And it only seems to get worse with each month that passes. And I'm sure stressing about all of it is helping nothing. Bleh.

 

[MrsC10]

I feel exactly the same way. I have a few friends that I know are going to start TTC in a few months and I'm absolutely terrified that they're going to conceive before DH and I. Our first pregnancy ended in a MC that very few people knew about so we have been very quiet about TTC. I know it's selfish but there's nothing I can do to change how I feel. And it only seems to get worse with each month that passes. And I'm sure stressing about all of it is helping nothing. Bleh.

Exactly!! This is totally me. I had a MC about 6 months after we started TTC and I thought I would have been pregnant again by now. But no luck. It just makes me think that that was my chance and now it's over.
Don't get me wrong, I'd be over the moon if they had their own little bundle, but I know I would be devastated at the same time.

 

[octoberlove]

Same with me. I actually got PG on our honeymoon, my first month off the pill. We were NTNP. I had the MC 2 weeks after I found out. Of course I was devastated but I thought the fact that I got PG on our first try was at least a good sign. At first I was worried about having another MC, now I'm getting terrified that I'm never even going to get that BFP again. This whole journey is such an emotional roller coaster.

 

[curiousowl]

Don't feel bad. I completely understand! We have friends who got engaged right around the same time as us and then got married a month before we did last spring. She and I have been talking about TTC though I haven't told her we've actually started. Now with me not ovulating I'm getting worried that if they start TTC this spring/summer she's going to get pregnant immediately and I'll just be so sad. This stuff is rough. It's okay to feel upset, jealous, etc.

 

[MrsC10]

I'm glad I'm not alone. I just felt awful for feeling the way I do. Thank you ladies for showing me that it's OK to feel this way. I'm sure I'll be fine once I get used to the idea xx