Fertility problems - a guys perspective

[MrM]

I'm probably not the usual type of poster, but I'm sitting here going out of my mind with worry and would appreaciate any guidance you may have.

My girlfriend and I have been together for a long time and only very recently started actively trying for a baby. However there had certainly been times during our decade plus relationship where we could have been more 'careful' and I'd always been a bit worried that it hadn't just happened by accident.

Anyway to cut a long story short I got my gp to refer me for a sperm test and sadly the results are not great. The count itself is not awful (although could be better) but the mobility is very poor.

I've paid to get tested privately tomorrow as don't want to have to wait, and I'm hoping that some of my issues might be the result of being misadvised by the gp to abstain for at least 7 days before my original test - am now told at least 2 days but no more then 5.

Anyway, I'm really struggling with this. Not so much for myself but because I feel I've completely let down my GF who I love dearly. She wants a baby more then anything and I'm devastated that I might not be able to give her one.

We've spoken and she was of course understanding and supportive, but deep down she must be upset. I don't think for a moment she'd leave me, but I'm increasingly thinking maybe it would be kinder if I let her go. I don't want her to grow to resent me or to deprive her of her chance to be a mother.

I know I'm probably not thinking straight, particularly as I've only had one test, but I'm just completely numb at the moment... I don't smoke, never done drugs, never had an STD, barely drink, eat pretty healthy and apart from being a little anxious have never had any health problems. Yet here I am...

How can I deal with this?

 

[prettybirdy27]

I'm so sorry to hear about this. But most importantly, try not to make a decision when you're upset.

Just because mobility is low doesn't mean there's no chance. You can do IVF treatments, and you can always consider adoption. But whatever you do, make sure you keep a really open and honest line of communication with your girlfriend. I don't feel like leaving her is the kinder thing to do here - it would be taking away someone she really loves even though there's still a chance with IVF and adoption. So please don't leave her for this.

Try to put it out of your head until your test results come back from tomorrow's test as well. I know that's much easier said than done.

Again I'm so sorry this is happening to you, but please realize that this isn't your fault, and that there are options available to you even if your test tomorrow does reveal low mobility. Best of luck.

 

[anagee]

MrM, I'm sorry you are going through these struggles with your gf. fertility issues are always one of the hardest to deal with in a relationship. I agree with the previous poster, you should not leave her unless you both agree it would be the best for both of you.

My husband has low mobility and morphology results and I researched some things on the web that I hope you find helpful

https://www.alive.com/articles/view/17772/6_ways_to_boost_male_fertility_naturally
https://www.preseed.com/TTC-Blog/20...ncrease-Sperm-Count-Quality-and-Motility.aspx

 

[spicyorange]

I always thought that abstaining for to long - like a week was bad for sperm all hopefully your new tests will be better. Don't assume even if there is a problem that a, nothing can be done and b, you can never get pregnant. You say leaving her would be fairer but how, with you she has a chance but without you she can't get pregnant on her own! Keep talking and I hope you work it out. Good luck.

 

[Oasis717]

I was reading just lately that abstaining for that length of time will affect both mobility and quality so im hopeful for you that your next test brings better results, please let us know, good luck x

 

[MrM]

Thanks everyone. Yeah the condition of the first test was far from ideal. Had second test today although won't get results until next week, so here's hoping.

Either way, thanks for giving me some perspective. Will report back once I know.

 

[Oasis717]

That's great, hoping for a better result for you

 

[anagee]

MrM,

Good luck!

 

[Missymoo100]

Please don't worry just yet, the results can change dramatically from one test to the next. My Oh had low sperm count 1st test, around 7-8 mil per ml about half of the minimum level of 15mil. We felt really sluffed with this esp as i had pcos to add to the mix too! Never thought we'd get there. Anyhow we got retested a month later and it had quadrupled to 28million per ml- within the Normal range. To add to it I'm now 13 week pregnant so after all the upset, in the end it didn't matter.
Have u tried zinc supplements? N i know its cliched but not wearing tight underwear, riding bikes etc.
your results could b completely different by the next test. As for your partner she will need ur support more than ever, and you will need hers- so don't let negativity creep in n spoil things for your relationship. Its natural to have such thoughts esp when u think ur the "broken" one- iv been there myself, but dont let it take over. I'm sure ur partner loves u for u, you are much more than a sperm production factory! Even if the results don't improve there are ways n means of getting around this, there are lots of options. Anyway good luck n I hope u get the results you want.

 

[Missymoo100]

Just another point too if the count is okay, then sometimes the percentage of mobile sperm doesnt matter so much. For a man with high sperm count the percentage of mobile sperm matters less because a small percentage of a lot of sperm is still enough to get the job done.

 

[MamaBunny2]

You are not alone in how you feel. My bf comments about him being the reason we haven't conceived yet, though right now we have no idea what it is. Even if he has something to do with it, I wouldn't want him to leave me! There are always options. Will be stalking for an update... FX for better test results!

 

[MrM]

Well, I've had my new test results back, and I think I'm even more confused as there seem to be some contradictions!

So, in a nutshell, the results of my first test were:Low concentration (11mil/ml)
Very low vitality / motility / progression
Normal shape

My latest test (two weeks later) have come back
Still low concentration (12.3mil/ml)
Very HIGH vitality (>78%) HIGH motility (>78%) and good progression (65%)
Bad shape (only 2% normal)

The concentration is of course a matter of concern, although my total sample size is quite a bit above average so I actually far exceeded the “total” minimum threshold – although I appreciate it’s still a problem. I do generally produce a reasonable amount of semen, and I wonder whether this dilutes the concentration? – a question for the doctor I guess.

What has confused me is that the results for mobility and shape are the binary opposite of my last test!!

Last time I was told I had extremely POOR vitality / motility/ progression, this time I am told I have extremely good vitality / mobility / progression – way above the thresholds.

And again, last time I was told that the formation was very good and well within thresholds, but this time I am being told that most are poorly formed. Again, the binary opposite of last time!

Having done a little more research about shape it seems that this may be quite a subjective measure and the impact on fertility is somewhat unproven, but nonetheless I still find it odd that two weeks ago I was producing perfectly normal semen and now I’m apparently not.

Overall the new test results have given me a little more hope that with some lifestyle changes and zinc supplements etc that we might be able to conceive naturally. However, will go and see doctors and report back.

 

[BigTex]

Howdy MrM,

I'm in the same boat as you. My wife and I are still trying to conceive and I have had three analyses done.

SA1 (April 2014):

Count - 11mil / ml
Quality - 3 (4 is normal on their scale)
Motility - 13%

SA2 (Sept. 2014):
Count - 1mil / ml (way low)
Quality - 2
Motility - 1%

SA3 (Dec 2014)
Count - 37.1mil / ml (normal)
Quality - 4 (normal)
Motility - 1% (low)

So I'm still working on the motility. I've read there are some vitamins that distinctly help with that, which I am now taking everyday. Also, my urologist prescribed me clomid (25mg / day) since I had borderline low testosterone. This is an off-label usage of the drug, but for me it may be bringing improvements.

With that being said, I'm just continuing to improve my lifestyle (laying off alcohol significantly) and taking these vitamins and clomid. Just goes to show you how much our numbers fluctuate.

Vitamins and prescriptions I take (now dealing with only low motility):

Vitamin C
Vitamin B12
Vitamin E
Vitamin D3
Zinc
CoQ10
Acetyl - L Carnitine
Fertilityaid - Motility Boost

The RE said my numbers are good for IVF/ICSI, but for IUI I need my motility up to at least 20% and for natural conception they need 50%.

Has anyone else out there gone through low motility or improving low motility? I'll keep everyone posted on how it goes, but I think the clomid really helped get my count and quality in range so I'm hoping adding all the vitamins above will improve my motility.

Thanks!

BigTex

 

[missk1989]

My DH had tests when we were trying for number 1. They were really poor. Really low concentration and 90 % were either dead or poor mobility. The specialist said that if he could say it (legally) he would tell us that concieving naturally would be impossible for us. 6 weeks later I had a positive test. Dont loose hope.

 

[MrM]

TeX, thanks for sharing your story.

I've been doing a lot of reading about male fertility, but your advice is helpful.

Regarding numbers, great to see your concentration go from 1 mill to a strong normal. I actually found a study where they tested one man every two weeks for two years. In that time his numbers bounced from almost infertile to extremely fertile - so yes, the numbers do seem to fluctuate.

In my case my mobility went from extremely poor to extremely good in two weeks. When I did my first test I was misadvised to not ejaculate for at least 7 days, which I think contributed to my poor results. Second time I waited 3 days and results for mobility were great. Have you tried varying sample times?

Did you take anything specific for concentration?

Has your doctor spoken to you much about the importance of quality? Some people say that in most cases it doesn't really matter and others seem to put a lot of emphasis on it. Generally I get the impression it's about concentration and motility though.

 

[MrM]

My DH had tests when we were trying for number 1. They were really poor. Really low concentration and 90 % were either dead or poor mobility. The specialist said that if he could say it (legally) he would tell us that concieving naturally would be impossible for us. 6 weeks later I had a positive test. Dont loose hope.

Thanks. It's nice to know things aren't as hopeless as they sometimes seem.

It's funny, I distinctly remember being told when I was younger that the withdrawal method was useless as the smallest drip of semen could get a girl pregnant - as it only takes one. Yet when it comes to male fertility your told that unless you're hitting certain magic numbers (of millions and millions) it's essentially game over.

 

[rebeccalouise]

You're not alone with how you feel, I'm in the same boat! I got diagnosed with pcos last week, and now I'm left feeling completely numb and useless. I'm terrified my partner is going to leave me, because I can't give him a baby of his own. we have my little girl, but he isn't her bilogical dad. people say it's so easy to get pregnant etc. I never gave a second thought to becoming infertile, it's hit me so hard!

 

[MrM]

Rebecca, I obviously can't speak for your partner, but I wouldn't dream of leaving my girlfriend because of fertility problems. We are more than baby making machines and I'm sure it wasn't a biological function that attracted your partner to you.

Just keep talking.

 

[rebeccalouise]

Rebecca, I obviously can't speak for your partner, but I wouldn't dream of leaving my girlfriend because of fertility problems. We are more than baby making machines and I'm sure it wasn't a biological function that attracted your partner to you.

Just keep talking.

Thank you, he has reasurred me a lot! I just worry so much

The same goes for your partner though, she loves you for you! I know I wouldn't leave Dan if it was him with the problem, not me. We'd just face it together, as we are doing now.

 

[BigTex]

MrM,

My tests were about 2-3 months apart each time, so the fluctuations good very well be just fluctuations.

Aside from the vitamins I listed, I was actually prescribed Clomid by a urologist that specializes in male fertility (normally they give Clomid to women), and this has boosted my borderline low Testosterone numbers. I am wondering if that has caused this significant increase in my count. I have been on the clomid for about 3 months now, so I am wondering if that made some improvements.

I also have made some lifestyle changes. Not just for fertility but for overall health as I'm 29 now - I have cut back significantly on beer (instead of watching college football having 6+ beers, I'll have a glass of wine with dinner, maybe 2 glasses on the weekend). That and about 5 months ago I quit dipping (smokeless tobacco) - never did that much, but I quit tobacco all together. I have read that alcohol and tobacco can also have a negative effect on male fertility (but I know some people who are certifiable alcoholics that have made their wives pregnant), so who knows.

I'll keep y'all posted on how things go, but it is good to hear success stories and hear from other folks who are going through similiar situations.

-BigTex