Fertility specialist made me cry :(

Forums New posts
Julz27

Julz27

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 6, 2013
Messages
199
Reaction score
0
Well apparently I'm just fat. And my abnormal bloods, cysts, etc are going to be ignored until I lose weight. I'm only a uk size 14! I've never felt more embarrassed in my life than I did today.
 
They're really hot on this. I lost 3.5 stone to get help! It's not fair, but then I guess they have to draw the line somewhere. Look on the bright side, if you're only a size 14 then you won't have to lose a lot to fall into your healthy BMI!
 
It's just so frustrating. He laughed at me too and told me not to use opks or temp. I can't believe this is all my fault :(
 
Thats disgusting. Having cysts and hormonal problems make losing weight difficult and even very overweight people concieve so i can't believe thats all he said!!
 
He laughed at you?! What a twat! He has no right to treat you like that, if I was you I'd complain about him. You can't be that overweight so I wouldn't give up on charting and OPKs.
 
Charting keeps me sane. I'm more stressed not knowing and just assuming I'm not ovulating. If I didn't chart I wouldn't know I actually did O this month! He said they don't use metformin anymore (?!?) so I'm on my own. He may give me clomid in 3 months or we may move straight to IVF if my hubby's second SA is still a tad low.
 
Wow sounds like a nice guy :winkwink: I swear bedside manner should be included in medical training!

What have you tried so far? Have you tried any of the natural or herbal stuff to help you O?

:flower:
 
Wow I'm really sorry to read this. Size 14 is NOT big. And many MANY women of all shapes and sizes have cysts and hormonal problems. He really shouldn't have laughed at you, that's awful.

It's no consolation but I've had similar issues with doctors. At the risk of coming across sexist, all of the issues I had were with male doctors. I've been told to 'get over it, every woman experiences this kind of pain' and laughed at when I expressed concern that my crippling ovulation pain (which they now think is endo) is affecting my ability to conceive. I understand only too well the feeling of being laughed at and minimised. In fact, I could write a feminist dissertation on everything I've experienced with regards my reproductive health and male doctors.

Were you referred to this specialist by your GP? Perhaps you could talk to your GP about this? Maybe she/he can clarify the questions on metformin and so forth. Finally, if charting helps you then you don't need to stop just because he says so! Jeez - he just sounds like an awful bully. So sorry you had that experience :hugs:
 
That's outrageous!! Can you get another consultant? I was a uk14 whilst I was getting treatment too and no one even mentioned my weight. A bmi of under 30 is the guideline for accepting patients in the uk for fertility treatment and you should be well within that at your size.
 
I'm a big girl.. bigger than you, and my doc(although, I'm in Canada) had no issues with my weight and actually told me that my weight has no issue with my originally not getting pregnant.. it ended up just being that I was "freaking out" over it and messing up my body. I did end up begging my doc to give me clomid... even though I didn't need it, because I ovulate on my own already. I just wanted a "boost".
Don't let some doc talk to you like that... maybe go to another one, and keep looking until you find one who isn't a complete douche!!
 
Yea, I waited months for this referral and it sucked. My gp has just left the practice, so I have been assigned some new person I haven't seen yet. I'm hoping they're better than the old doctor, or I'll change to a different surgery as they won't let me change doctors within the practice ( which I'm pretty sure they're not allowed to do since I'm registered with the practice, not a particular doctor and I'm entitled to a second opinion)

My BMI is under 30. I am a bit chunky, but I'm certainly not huge. He is refusing treatment because he wants me to lose 7lbs! It seems a bit harsh for such a small amount of weight. Hopefully I'll manage to lose much more than that so I can go back in 3 months and demand help.
 
Poor you!! I'm sorry and saddened to hear that a "professional" would treat you this way! At least it's not 50 pounds you "need" to lose to get help!
I hope it all works out for you!!
 
Haha I just realised the bmi the doctor had was wrong! The nurse took my weight and height and she must have rounded my height in cm to 170 ( I'm 5 ft 8 and so 173 cm) and that makes my bmi a whole point higher! I thought it was too high! That's even more annoying
 
That does seem very harsh of him. So basically they recorded your bmi as 1 point higher than it actually is? I'd be pretty mad at that too. I don't know if there's a whole lot you can do about it now - my best advice is to try not to dwell too much on it. At least you don't have very much to lose at all and hopefully you'll get your bfp before you have to go back to him! Try to focus your energy on getting that bfp :)
 
The man is clearly a pig!:hug:

Honey I'm a uk 20 to 22. A size 14 is not fat in anyway and none of this is ur fault either, he really should know better. :hugs:

As for ov's and temps we all need a little something to keep us sane on the TTC journey, just don't tell him :thumbup:

I was told to lose weight so i could see a fs (poor morphology 3%) and in the end we got lucky on cycle 24 and at 15 and a 1/2 stone! so they don't know everything. Good luck and lots of baby dust.
 
I am SO sorry, that doctor is total douche. Totally unacceptable. Can you go to anotehr professional?

I am terrified to get pregnant again as we just had a late term loss, our son was 31 weeks. I am not 15 pounds heavier, and I was 284 :( I cannot believe how big I am and don't have time to waste so we are trying right away (while I am not indulging anymore, only once a week now and no more soda!). I hate that this should be a wonderful time but they fixate on the weight! I did fine, I had NO issues at all I carried well, no diabetes and not even high blood pressure. They fixate on the weight and it really ticks me off!

I did tell hubby after baby is here I NEED to get to the gym. He will have to step up and watch the baby so I can do that. I cannot be this big :( I don't need no doctor to tell me that...Good luck and find someone who will care for you and not just be a total tool. :hugs:
 
Castawaybride I'm soo sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how awful that must be. I really hope you get your baby soon. *hugs*

I bought an exercise bike yesterday so going to try and fit in half an hour a day ( I work long hours and have long drives to work so don't have time for the gym). I've also got a calorie tracker for my phone so I'll lose this weight even if it kills me.

He was quite judgemental that my periods stopped because of my weight gain, but I gained weight after they stopped.

I can't see anyone else unless I go private. I'm worried I'll pay a fortune and drive 3 hours to the private hospital just to be told the same thing. Maybe once I lose a bit of weight I'll feel more confident about seeing someone else.

I'm really sorry for having such a moan. Thanks everyone for cheering me up with the doctor slagging.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)

Members online

Total: 952 (members: 2, guests: 950)

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
1,650,198
Messages
27,141,364
Members
255,676
Latest member
An1583

Share this page

Back
Top
monitoring_string = "c48fb0faa520c8dfff8c4deab485d3d2"
<-- Admiral -->