Hi All:
I've been a member of the board for quite some time. I have a 24 year old son and I'm 41 and 24 weeks pregnant. Three years ago I had a blighted ovum on what was going to be my DH and I's first child together. Needless to say I was devastated to learn at 11 weeks that there was no baby.
Since then we have done the NTNP method - heavy on the "Not Trying". Then last year we found out quite unexpectedly that I was pregnant in August. Unfortunately, at my 12 week US there was no heartbeat. Again, the heartbreak was almost too much to bear and after D&C in October we decided that we would pursue adoption or fostering. I really didn't think that I could handle the grief and loss and thought simply that it was not meant to be.
Weeellll...after my regular cycle after D&C, I missed my period. Now, as crazy as it sounds, I really thought that it was effects of the D&C or even perimenopause. I didn't even consider pregnancy as the reason for the missed period.
Went to the doctor's and found out that we were pregnant - and I've been holding my breath ever since. It's crazy the emotions that one goes through after experiencing a loss(es). I found it hard to embrace my pregnancy and was in denial even through every US and doctor's appointment. It was almost as if I didn't want to want this as to not be disappointed with a bad outcome. I didn't even want to post on this board for fear of "jinxing" anything. I didn't want to buy or read anything baby related. But I finally had to sit myself down and my husband said the most enlightening thing to me - he said that no matter how much I don't enjoy this or deny this - it won't make any future heartache hurt any less. I won't cry any less tears, I won't have any less of a broken heart and that I deserve to let myself believe and have faith that everything will be okay. Because in the end, it's not in my control.
Soooo...today I had my 24wk US. My little boy is measuring about a week ahead and everything is absolutely great. We've had all the testing done recommended for my age to include NT scan, free cell DNA, AMF(?) for spinal bifada, placental testing, dopplers - you name the non-invasive and I've had it. All is on track and it's finally sinking in that I might actually be having a baby LOL!
I didn't know where to post...Pregnant after 35, after loss, long time trying success, etc. So I chose this forum as there's so many viewers and I'm sure that I'm not the only one who's been in all of my similiar situations.
I think I'm getting kind of excited
. I know there are no guarantees - God knows I know, but I also know that unless I want my baby to be clothed in a paperbag riding home strapped in the trunk that I need to get it together and start embracing this blessing and believing that it's real.
I also want to thank everyone on this board for the countless posts that I've read and joys and sorrows shared as it means so much to those of us who lurk and read more than post. I hope to contribute a bit more so I'm cautiously putting my toe in the water
.
I've been a member of the board for quite some time. I have a 24 year old son and I'm 41 and 24 weeks pregnant. Three years ago I had a blighted ovum on what was going to be my DH and I's first child together. Needless to say I was devastated to learn at 11 weeks that there was no baby.
Since then we have done the NTNP method - heavy on the "Not Trying". Then last year we found out quite unexpectedly that I was pregnant in August. Unfortunately, at my 12 week US there was no heartbeat. Again, the heartbreak was almost too much to bear and after D&C in October we decided that we would pursue adoption or fostering. I really didn't think that I could handle the grief and loss and thought simply that it was not meant to be.
Weeellll...after my regular cycle after D&C, I missed my period. Now, as crazy as it sounds, I really thought that it was effects of the D&C or even perimenopause. I didn't even consider pregnancy as the reason for the missed period.
Went to the doctor's and found out that we were pregnant - and I've been holding my breath ever since. It's crazy the emotions that one goes through after experiencing a loss(es). I found it hard to embrace my pregnancy and was in denial even through every US and doctor's appointment. It was almost as if I didn't want to want this as to not be disappointed with a bad outcome. I didn't even want to post on this board for fear of "jinxing" anything. I didn't want to buy or read anything baby related. But I finally had to sit myself down and my husband said the most enlightening thing to me - he said that no matter how much I don't enjoy this or deny this - it won't make any future heartache hurt any less. I won't cry any less tears, I won't have any less of a broken heart and that I deserve to let myself believe and have faith that everything will be okay. Because in the end, it's not in my control.
Soooo...today I had my 24wk US. My little boy is measuring about a week ahead and everything is absolutely great. We've had all the testing done recommended for my age to include NT scan, free cell DNA, AMF(?) for spinal bifada, placental testing, dopplers - you name the non-invasive and I've had it. All is on track and it's finally sinking in that I might actually be having a baby LOL!
I didn't know where to post...Pregnant after 35, after loss, long time trying success, etc. So I chose this forum as there's so many viewers and I'm sure that I'm not the only one who's been in all of my similiar situations.
I think I'm getting kind of excited
. I know there are no guarantees - God knows I know, but I also know that unless I want my baby to be clothed in a paperbag riding home strapped in the trunk that I need to get it together and start embracing this blessing and believing that it's real.I also want to thank everyone on this board for the countless posts that I've read and joys and sorrows shared as it means so much to those of us who lurk and read more than post. I hope to contribute a bit more so I'm cautiously putting my toe in the water
.
