Finally qualified but want a baby and not a job now

[Beccaboop]

So I've spent the last 2 years doing an online course to achieve a diploma in wedding and event planning and have finished the week.
I'm proud ive done it and got a 50/50 on my last assignment which gives me a 93% overall grade.

But over the last 2 years I've become more and more broody and now want a baby and to put off getting my dream job for another 2.5/3 years.

We have decided to ttc in Oct as we're going on hoilday in Nov.

We have a 3.5 year old son so I've been out of work for 4 years already. We are fine money wise but I do feel a bit lazy now and really lost now I've finished the course.

Do you think it's a good idea? I keep thinking I could put off having a baby for a couple of years instead but I'm so broody and was getting excited that we're close to ttc again now

Confused! :/

 

[LondonH]

Aww, I'm so sorry. It's so hard to be torn between a job you would really enjoy and starting a family. I have a similar situation as I just got my terminal degree and a good job in another state and suddenly have become very broody and tempted to stay to ttc. For me, I sometimes wonder if I am actually terrified that I wont succeed or strangely feel guilty for launching into something that makes me happy after I put it off to take care of my dh for so long. It's hard to do something that's just for you if you have been used to being a caretaker.

2 years of online courses is a lot! You have to be so self motivated to do something like that, I know that I would be lazy and I would struggle. That is very telling of what kind of drive you have. You've already achieved a major success! Is your partner rooting for you to focus on your goals or ttc? I know we all have lots of reasons not to put off having babies but I would urge you to push your timeline back a little. Spend some time just focusing on your newly achieved success. If you're planning on running a business yourself, you could shadow/assist some planners in the meantime. When you launch your own business, it's great to know that there is some good flexibility. (I was a wedding photographer for a decade and worked with tons of pregnant wedding planners who ran their business on their own schedule.) If you are planning on working for an event planning company, now might be a good time to explore what's out there.

I know that if I held off on my career to ttc, it would bring a lot of anxiety for it to happen immediately because I will have felt like I gave up on my career to get pregnant. That's so much pressure when it might take some time! If you instead focus on some career goals now and through the pregnancy, it will be easier to pick up after they are a tad older. It sounds like it might be really daunting to hold off on a new job for 2.5/3 years... plus you are freshest with all of the information right after education and so many things change in the field that you will have to relearn all the new social media/marketing/etc. involved in planning 3 years down the road. Lots of luck to you!

 

[Beccaboop]

Hi londonh

Thanks for replying.

I'm sorry I didn't explain my current situation very well.
I'm currently a full time mum to our 3.5 year old son and wtt for baby number 2.

When I was pregnant with our son I had hyperemesis gravidarum from 6 weeks and had a temporary but on going job which I lost because I was unable to work or even get out if bed most days.

Since then I have had a weekend job but gave it up to concentrate on the course and my family and cos I hated it. so I have mostly been a stay at home mum since I became pregnant first time.

I feel like I might like to work now and know many woman work while pregnant but as I have an 80% chance of getting hg again it wouldn't be fair to get a job and then get pregnant and be unable to work again.

Because I have a family the plan was to get a job in a hotel or somewhere as a wedding Co ordinator as its more secure but
I'm so broody and it's only the hg that has made me wait this long to have a 2nd if I knew I wouldn't get it I wouldn't of had another baby by now.
I just felt it wasn't fair in my son but as of september he will be doing almost full time at playschool so he will be happy and looked after while I rest most of the day.

My husband is a very laid back person and he just goes along with whatever makes me happy so doesn't mind either way.

I think I have decided already that I want to have a baby before getting my dream job but I feel a bit like I'm letting myself down after 2 years of studies. I know I'll get over that once I'm pregnant tho.

Thanks for yur advice but broodyness is so strong!

 

[LondonH]

Oh man, that is really rough. I am so sorry to hear about the complications. It sounds like you know what is best for you now. Maybe you can do some things to try to stay current in the field in the meantime. It's good to know that your husband is really supportive!