FOB rant!!

[firsttimer87]

Grrrr I cant believe him tbh!!
Ok, so I had to go to the house today to get mine/babys stuff (as moved out last week with only a carrier bag of stuff). Due to legals, hes not allowed to contact me regarding the current case or threaten me etc, so I had 2 police officers come to the house to request he leave for a short time to allow me to get my stuff etc. Well needless to say, he chose to be awkward and stay in the house

So he starts bringing my stuff to the door where the officers and my 18yr old nephew bring it to the van I'd borrowed. Then one of them tells me he is refusing to give me the pram/car seat cos his mum paid for it! Yes she did, but its not like he'll bloody need it as the chances of him even getting supervised access is like 0.0000001%!! (this is what my solicitor told me).

He then told the police that the dog was mine and unless I took her today he would take her to kennels tomorrow! Now he knows how much I love that dog and it breaks my heart I cant have her with me atm (as im staying with family who already have a dog and they really dont get on) so i told them to say that I was trying to sort someone to rehome her but hadnt suceeded yet, but could one of them bring her out so I could say goodbye? Well guess what...? Nope, he wouldnt allow that either!! Said it 'would upset the dog!'. Well by this point I was crying my eyes out cos I miss her so much and really dont want her to go back to kennels (the pound) as this whole thing is not her fault, but he's being a complete dick about the whole thing!

Grrr! It just made me so upset and angry! Before this, I was mainly just sad about the whole situation, that it'd come to this etc and that my LO would grow up without a dad, but now I'm so angry that he's treating me so unfairly when I have done nothing wrong except try to protect my baby from harm!!

Sorry for the really long pst lol, but needed to get that out! xxx

 

[MummyJade]

Oh hun, what a utter twat he is being, hes doing it cos he knows it upsets you...
they get off on it, my FOB gets off on getting a reaction from me... (i should learn to keep me mouth shut ) i hope you find somewhere for your dog.... i know how much my dog means to me, so i know it cant be easy....

as for the pushchair did you get it? when my ex (not fob) tried taking back something he had bought me, he wasn't allowed as it was given as a gift, (police told me that) so surely his mother buying a gift for the baby should belong to you as you would be full time carer/parent?... even if they dont give it, let them keep it, you can get another one even if its just a cheap one till you can afford a better one... let him/them be petty...

keep you chin up, don't feel sad you are doing what any other mother would do, protecting her baby...

xx

 

[babybambi2011]

aaaw hunni! big hugs for you! he sounds like a complete and utter..... yea you get the drift. bit like my ex, there nasty!!

 

[emlubu]

Men eh.... Who would have em!!!

Big big big hugs xxx

 

[firsttimer87]

Oh hun, what a utter twat he is being, hes doing it cos he knows it upsets you...
they get off on it, my FOB gets off on getting a reaction from me... (i should learn to keep me mouth shut ) i hope you find somewhere for your dog.... i know how much my dog means to me, so i know it cant be easy....

as for the pushchair did you get it? when my ex (not fob) tried taking back something he had bought me, he wasn't allowed as it was given as a gift, (police told me that) so surely his mother buying a gift for the baby should belong to you as you would be full time carer/parent?... even if they dont give it, let them keep it, you can get another one even if its just a cheap one till you can afford a better one... let him/them be petty...

keep you chin up, don't feel sad you are doing what any other mother would do, protecting her baby...

xx

well the police said they would take it if I wanted it, but tbh I left it as I would rather provide for me baby myself (or my mum lol). I just left him to be petty.

Thanks ladies, it was good to rant lol, I've had a bit of another cry today about the sheer unfairness of it all, but only 5 mins of self pity lol. Ah well, still got work to go to and a home to sort out for when LO arrives...too much to do to sit and curl in a corner xx

 

[Kacie]

Aww hun, you're allowed to cry and rant all you want. It's shock to realise just how nasty they can be be when they don't get their own way. Think that was the biggest shock to me, how many things he would bring up that he never even acknowledged when we were together.. all of a sudden he remembered them and used them to hurt me emotionally.. e.g. he spent years telling me he never wanted children (or even our LO) then, all of a sudden he wanted a big family after i left. then he told me he'd have to get rid of the dogs as it upset him too much to have them in the house (like you, i had nowhere for them). There were so many things like that and it sounds like you'll hear more of them too.

Turns out men really do understand our emotions but don't use them to be all romantic, just to get what they want with a bit of emotional blackmail (eek, sounding all femanist now!).

Hugs, and I hope things get better and better for you now you've left him.. don't worry about the buggy/carseat.. he'll just have it sitting in his house reminding him of how badly he's messed up by losing you and you'll feel great knowing that the one you get will be chosen by you. Best feeling in the world to know that everything my daughter has, she has because I chose it and made it happen for her.

(PS. I'm not really a manhater.. just don't like the manipulating controlling ones like your FOB seems to be!)

FYI - he never did get rid of the dogs

xxx

 

[firsttimer87]

hi kacie - thanks for your response. i'm doing a bit better now and am starting to settle a bit more. Only got under 4wks until LO is due tho eeeek!

I had to go back to the house last week to get the last of my stuff and suprise suprise he hadn't got rid of my dog. I have sorted someone to look after her and left the phone number etc last Friday...as of now he hasn't been in contact to arrange this. Looks like he knows hes only got one last thing to try and manipulate me with

I really do hate him sometimes for what he's put me (and therefore LO) thru in the last 2wks, other times I feel nothing. Nothing at all, and I kind of like that better. At least I'm not wasting energy on him lol xx

 

[Strawberrymum]

What a twat! So sorry you had to deal with that