FOB's mum last night!

[samface182]

when fobs parents found out i was pregnant, they weren't very happy and it took them about 2months to get used to the idea, after we had a big talk with them and they started to seem kinda excited about it, suggesting names and stuff. i thought his mum was fine now, and she had told chris that she was excited about the baby coming etc. i was up at fobs house last night, i was standing in the kitchen with chris and her, while chris made me a coffee,i said hi to her and said it was mad, cos i hadn't saw her since xmas. she stuck to very short answers and just kept watching the tv. she didn't ask how i was, didnt acknowledge me or my (now very noticable) bump. she just didnt seem bothered at all. it's made me really angry! i mentioned it to chris and he asked her this morning why she didnt seem fussed and she just shrugged her shoulders! how can she possibly not care, ESPECIALLY after us sorting everything out and his parents being 'happy'? im SO angry! do you think she might change her tune once the baby is actually here?

 

[Mellie1988]

Awww, i'm sorry she doesn't seem very interested, that would annoy mee too
I hope she starts getting involved more soon, if not then I think she will maybe pick up once LO is here, if not even then...I wouldn't bother with her!

My MIL is a funny one, she never really accepted DD pregnancy and she wasnt really involved until she was 3/4months, however with DS it was a totally diff story and she was constantly asking how I was etc...very strange MILs sometimes!

 

[fantastica]

Ugh. Mils...they're all evil (i'm sure they're not all...but still!)

She sounds like she's being pretty immature, guess it's been hard for her to accept...but hopefully she will start to come around...as things get closer and closer..she'll probably just get on with it, and once baby is here...then hopefully she'll behave much better...it is her grandbaby after all.

Sorry not got much advice...my OH's mum is a NIGHTMARE! But chris is obvs supporting you, so this will probably rub off onto her eventually! Hope things do get better

OOo just saw your ticker...you gonna find out if it's a girl or boy tomorrow?! x

 

[Jadelm]

Maybe when you know the sex, it makes it a bit more real you know? Less of a pregnancy more of a BABY.. and of course you can start buying cute stuff so it might make her care a bit more If not she'll probs change her tune when LOs here, most people do - my friends granma was exceptionally horrible to her saying she was disgrace and her and her LO would never be part of her family or loved or excepted (how cruel?!) and literall days after LO was born (and this was only like a few weeks after she said those things) she wanted to see her and take her out and stuff.. my friend told her where to shove it x

 

[futuremommy91]

Maybe when you know the sex, it makes it a bit more real you know? Less of a pregnancy more of a BABY.. and of course you can start buying cute stuff so it might make her care a bit more If not she'll probs change her tune when LOs here, most people do - my friends granma was exceptionally horrible to her saying she was disgrace and her and her LO would never be part of her family or loved or excepted (how cruel?!) and literall days after LO was born (and this was only like a few weeks after she said those things) she wanted to see her and take her out and stuff.. my friend told her where to shove it x

What a bitch!!!!!!

Glad your friend didn't relent and let the old hag "be a part"- god! I cannot imagine someone saying something like that!

 

[samface182]

Maybe when you know the sex, it makes it a bit more real you know? Less of a pregnancy more of a BABY.. and of course you can start buying cute stuff so it might make her care a bit more If not she'll probs change her tune when LOs here, most people do - my friends granma was exceptionally horrible to her saying she was disgrace and her and her LO would never be part of her family or loved or excepted (how cruel?!) and literall days after LO was born (and this was only like a few weeks after she said those things) she wanted to see her and take her out and stuff.. my friend told her where to shove it x

im not finding out the sex. i cant wait for our surprise on the day

no way! thats horrible! im SO grateful that no-one in my family is that bad!
no wonder she told her where to shove it! xx

 

[trashit]

mils are evil
i had a proper cruella deville one
sorry shes been this way hun, i hope she starts to acknowledge you more
maybe she was just having a shit day? x

 

[samface182]

mils are evil
i had a proper cruella deville one
sorry shes been this way hun, i hope she starts to acknowledge you more
maybe she was just having a shit day? x

thats what i thought at first, but the fact that chris asked her this morning what was up, and she just shrugged her shoulders! grrrr..

hopefully things will get better, ive been so nice to her aswell
xx

 

[haylie_bbz]

be grateful shes just being a little bit off with you, my MIL said she doesnt give a shi*t that im preg and doesnt want anything to do with me or my little girl as she already has grandkids to my OH ex and doesnt want another one. she will be very sadly mistaken if when the baby arrives if she thinks she is going to be playing grandmother of the year because i will tell her to get f*cked

 

[SarahhhLouise]

hey hun, sorry to here mil being likek this, its awful isnt it, me and my mil didnt get on at first and she does have her days where she thinks im taking her son away from her but as i told her.. hes 21 now and going to be a daddy, youve got to let him go eventually.. she seems fine with me more now xxx

 

[TattiesMum]

I'm going to play devils advocate a bit here But it might be that she is feeling a bit left out?

If you haven't seen her since Xmas, perhaps she feels that you don't want her involved and is a bit hurt by that. I KNOW MIL's are a nightmare in general (I've had two and they've both been hard work in their own ways ) but perhaps try involving her a bit .... give her a copy of your scan pic, ask her advice about stuff (you don't have to take it LOL, just listen to it ), perhaps ask her to go baby shopping with you or something .... if she rejects your advances, well then you can take a step back and know within yourself that you really tried, but you might just be suprised by how enthusiastic she becomes

 

[Torz]

I agree with TattiesMum, it could be that she is feeling a bit left out. Maybe spend a bit of time with her, a bit of girly bonding time, go out for the day shopping, have lunch, let her feel she is having some input.

Talk to her about the pregnancy she had with her son, i did this with my MIL & it worked wonders. Maybe talk about yours & hers family history & to see if there any names you like. You dont have to pick any of the names, just try & make her feel like she has a bit of involvement.

Also, especialy when their children are young still (& the youngest of their children), its hard for parents to see their children have a child of their own. She probably still see's her son as her baby, the child she once heald close to her. She knows she has to let go of him now & thats hard. You think about how you will feel when your child comes to have children. Its hard, i'm 26, i've been left home for 5 years & been with my partner for 9 & my mum still see's me as that baby at times & i'm not even the youngest. Its hard when you have had such a special bond with someone & you have to let them go. We are all going to be finding out one day & becomming that MIL.

 

[emilylynn18]

Im sorry the in-laws gave you such a hard time for the pregnancy. But it sounds like things got a bit better.

Maybe MIL has something else bothering her? It doesn't have to be that she's upset with you or that it has anything to do with you and your pregnancy. Maybe it's something else all together and she doesn't care to share it with you and OH.

Just give her some time. I'm sure things will get better. Usually people don't just change over night LOL.

 

[samface182]

I'm going to play devils advocate a bit here But it might be that she is feeling a bit left out?

If you haven't seen her since Xmas, perhaps she feels that you don't want her involved and is a bit hurt by that. I KNOW MIL's are a nightmare in general (I've had two and they've both been hard work in their own ways ) but perhaps try involving her a bit .... give her a copy of your scan pic, ask her advice about stuff (you don't have to take it LOL, just listen to it ), perhaps ask her to go baby shopping with you or something .... if she rejects your advances, well then you can take a step back and know within yourself that you really tried, but you might just be suprised by how enthusiastic she becomes

it's not that ive not wanted to see her since xmas, i guess she hasn't seemed bothered, so i haven't bothered with her and she is either at work, or drunk, shes an alcoholic, and is refusing to buy us anything for the baby, cos she would rather spend her money on wine!

we are like totally different people i guess, i don't feel comfortable round her as much as i should.
the way that she brought up fob, is just crazy, the stories that he has told me about when he was a wee boy, like when he was ill, they never bothered with him and just told him to stop complaining and go to bed. might not sound that bad, but chris has told me loads of stories, that make me feel like im not guna trust her with my baby. its not just me who is thinking this, chris does too. maybe im looking too deep into things though

thanks for your advice

I agree with TattiesMum, it could be that she is feeling a bit left out. Maybe spend a bit of time with her, a bit of girly bonding time, go out for the day shopping, have lunch, let her feel she is having some input.

Talk to her about the pregnancy she had with her son, i did this with my MIL & it worked wonders. Maybe talk about yours & hers family history & to see if there any names you like. You dont have to pick any of the names, just try & make her feel like she has a bit of involvement.

Also, especialy when their children are young still (& the youngest of their children), its hard for parents to see their children have a child of their own. She probably still see's her son as her baby, the child she once heald close to her. She knows she has to let go of him now & thats hard. You think about how you will feel when your child comes to have children. Its hard, i'm 26, i've been left home for 5 years & been with my partner for 9 & my mum still see's me as that baby at times & i'm not even the youngest. Its hard when you have had such a special bond with someone & you have to let them go. We are all going to be finding out one day & becomming that MIL.

chris is 20, will be 21 when the baby is born. im 18, younger i guess. i dont think the age is botherin her tbh, she was around the same age when she fell pregnant with him.

ive tried to talk to her about her pregnancy with chris, but she doesnt remember ANY of it. chris has a younger brother, she remembers everything about her pregnancy with him, his birth weight and everything but nothing about chris!

i understand about her maybe being upset about her child becoming a parent and stuff, but she doesnt bother that much with chris. never has been the mothering type. his little brother is the favorite, even the rest of his family have noticed it.

i really dont know what to think about her, im gna try get to know her better though, but it's hard when everytime i see her, she is drunk

 

[amandakelley]

Sorry she's being this way hun. Maybe things will get better for you. All you can do is try not to let it bother you and just show her it doesn't. Ignore it and continue to be nice to her and maybe she'll come around. She'll most likely change her mind about things once bub is here. ^^ If/When you know what the sex of the baby is you should keep it to yourself and then if she asks, just say "Oh, are you sure you're okay with it?" Maybe she'll change then.

 

[Torz]

I'm going to play devils advocate a bit here But it might be that she is feeling a bit left out?

If you haven't seen her since Xmas, perhaps she feels that you don't want her involved and is a bit hurt by that. I KNOW MIL's are a nightmare in general (I've had two and they've both been hard work in their own ways ) but perhaps try involving her a bit .... give her a copy of your scan pic, ask her advice about stuff (you don't have to take it LOL, just listen to it ), perhaps ask her to go baby shopping with you or something .... if she rejects your advances, well then you can take a step back and know within yourself that you really tried, but you might just be suprised by how enthusiastic she becomes

it's not that ive not wanted to see her since xmas, i guess she hasn't seemed bothered, so i haven't bothered with her and she is either at work, or drunk, shes an alcoholic, and is refusing to buy us anything for the baby, cos she would rather spend her money on wine!

we are like totally different people i guess, i don't feel comfortable round her as much as i should.
the way that she brought up fob, is just crazy, the stories that he has told me about when he was a wee boy, like when he was ill, they never bothered with him and just told him to stop complaining and go to bed. might not sound that bad, but chris has told me loads of stories, that make me feel like im not guna trust her with my baby. its not just me who is thinking this, chris does too. maybe im looking too deep into things though

thanks for your advice

I agree with TattiesMum, it could be that she is feeling a bit left out. Maybe spend a bit of time with her, a bit of girly bonding time, go out for the day shopping, have lunch, let her feel she is having some input.

Talk to her about the pregnancy she had with her son, i did this with my MIL & it worked wonders. Maybe talk about yours & hers family history & to see if there any names you like. You dont have to pick any of the names, just try & make her feel like she has a bit of involvement.

Also, especialy when their children are young still (& the youngest of their children), its hard for parents to see their children have a child of their own. She probably still see's her son as her baby, the child she once heald close to her. She knows she has to let go of him now & thats hard. You think about how you will feel when your child comes to have children. Its hard, i'm 26, i've been left home for 5 years & been with my partner for 9 & my mum still see's me as that baby at times & i'm not even the youngest. Its hard when you have had such a special bond with someone & you have to let them go. We are all going to be finding out one day & becomming that MIL.

chris is 20, will be 21 when the baby is born. im 18, younger i guess. i dont think the age is botherin her tbh, she was around the same age when she fell pregnant with him.

ive tried to talk to her about her pregnancy with chris, but she doesnt remember ANY of it. chris has a younger brother, she remembers everything about her pregnancy with him, his birth weight and everything but nothing about chris!

i understand about her maybe being upset about her child becoming a parent and stuff, but she doesnt bother that much with chris. never has been the mothering type. his little brother is the favorite, even the rest of his family have noticed it.

i really dont know what to think about her, im gna try get to know her better though, but it's hard when everytime i see her, she is drunk

I can totally relate to the alcoholic thing. MY MIL is an alcoholic tho she wont admit it. Alcohol is a depressant & greatly affects the brain, it could well be thats she is on a downer at the mo.

Your MIL sounds just like mine, no kidding. The way you talk about how she was with FOB as a child sounds like how my MIL was with my OH. She wasnt bothered about him at all or his sister, all she was bothered about was going out drinking with her mates all the time & nothing has changed. All her money is spent on drink. MY OH's nana & granddad brought him & his sister up really.

If my OH could he would cut all contact with his mum, at the mo we cant because the rental we rent of her has another year left on before we can buy it & he needs to stay talking to her for the sake of his nana who has dementia.

 

[AnnabelsMummy]

loool!! this thread made me laugh at how MIL's are evil!!
although i shouldn't reallyy!!
i just imagine everyone's MIL's to be like the ones off meet the perants or monster-in-law haha!!
xxxxx

 

[hasleved]

Maybe she was busy watching something and didn't want to be interrupted? I'd try talking to her when she isn't in the middle of doing something.