for gods sake....weddings!

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by stevie123, Apr 4, 2011.

  1. stevie123

    stevie123 Well-Known Member

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    ....so i have just found out that my friends wedding which is in a couple of weeks they have said no kids!
    so what the hell am i supposed to do with charlie now?
    my other friend who is getting married in august has also said no kids at her wedding too (at least we have notice for that one)
    seriously, why the hell do people say no kids at a wedding? surely a wedding is a celebration, to celebrate with friends and family! i was looking forward to bringing charlie too. was going to buy him a little suit.
    am i over reacting? this has really annoyed me! i just feel sad that i cant attend my friends wedding with my family... there are 3 of us now, me oh, and lo, not just me and oh!
     
  2. justarascal

    justarascal Mum of 1 monster

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    I have a wedding in May that is the same. Hate it. Still not comfortable leaving Isaac. I've said we'll go to the reception, but there is no way I'm leaving him all day.

    Really don't want MIL to watch him even for an hour though :(

    I had children at my wedding. My wee niece was everyones highlight. The best man has twins and they were running a mock. It was great.
     
  3. sjminimac

    sjminimac Well-Known Member

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    i wouldn't go :shrug: x
     
  4. Nervous_1

    Nervous_1 Well-Known Member

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    I think some people want it to be a very adult affair (i.e. they've spent a bomb on making it a very elegant do and don't want sticky fingers spoiling the designer dress etc). Personally I agree with you. An invite to a wedding should be to the whole family.

    Tell your friend that she should have told you about this a lot sooner and if she wants you to be there then you'll have to take your LO as you didn't have enough time to arrange a babysitter.
     
  5. aliss

    aliss Well-Known Member

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    I don't like it either but you have to respect their wishes. I am missing my best friend's wedding in a few weeks, best friend of 14 years, because they don't want kids there :( (if it was nearby I would go but it's in Mexico too! Yeesh).

    To me, weddings are family celebrations. I find it strange to want to celebrate a new union and a new "family" and the joining of two families.... by excluding family members due to their age. To me, it's bizarre. And in many cultures, totally rude and offensive. But it's their wish, so smile & nod :)
     
  6. BabyGirl999

    BabyGirl999 Harry's mummy!

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    Did they not tell you on the invite no kids? Rude to tell you two weeks b4 the event!
     
  7. fluffpuffin

    fluffpuffin Well-Known Member

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    often it's also about the cost. wedding are horrendously expensive and if you invite some kids you have to invite all kids or else you risk a big family feud. so sometimes the couple say 'no kids' so it's fair on everyone. I know friends of mine did that as they had a really big family and circle of friends.
     
  8. Louppey

    Louppey Mummy to 2 girls <3

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    Tbh I wouldn't go. Like you say, you're a family, you come as a unit now. It's not the same, but i've been invited to a party in June which is no kids. I said thanks but no thanks. I don't feel comfortable leaving Coralie for that long...

    Weddings should be about everyone celebrating! Not just adults. I had kids at my wedding and they made it :)
     
  9. OmiOmen

    OmiOmen Mum of two

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    I would not go either, even with more notice.
     
  10. xxClaire_24xx

    xxClaire_24xx mum of 2 gorgeous girls

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    we are getting married next year and cant wait to all the kiddies running around, we are even thinking hiring a bouncy castle so that when we are getting our pics done THE KIDS arent bored lol plus I want a shot on it haha xx
     
  11. Cat lady

    Cat lady Well-Known Member

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    I think there was a thread similar to this not too long ago, there was a definate split of who would and wouldnt go.
    I, personally, would phone your friend and explain your circumstances. You would love to go, but unfortunately, is too short notice to find a babysitter. She will either say, ok, thanks for letting her know or dont worry, bring lo along.
    Good luck!
    xxx
     
  12. nikkip75

    nikkip75 Well-Known Member

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    Tbh if i was getting married i wouldnt let all my friends bring their kids. Id only have close family children, nephews and neices. Mind theres enough of them in my family to fill a function room!!

    Imagine if they let everyone who came bring their kids, there would end up more kids than adults lol.

    I would just go in the day time and skip the evening do :hugs:
     
  13. michelle82

    michelle82 Mum to Paris and Leo

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    I got married recently........the most stressful time of my life!! We didn't have kids, just a few nieces and nephews.

    The problem with inviting kids is you'd end up with hundreds of them as you can't let one person take their kids and not the next!!

    I do think your friend should have given you a lot more notice tho :) x
     
  14. BabyGirl999

    BabyGirl999 Harry's mummy!

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    The thing is tho, if you bring LO along, all the other mummies will be raging!
     
  15. Sarah&Ady

    Sarah&Ady Weight Watchers Champ!

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    I got married at Christmas time and we had sooooo many kids there.. it was good because we got thme to sing carols around a grand piano... so we got a free choir for the reception :thumbup: it was totally beautiful having all the kids there.. obviously none were mine but it never even crossed my mind to have a kids free wedding.
    Certainly if I marry Ady (lol..one day...maybe) then kids will be a big part of the day.
    I think maybe for some it is the cost and others the chaos kids can bring.. I would personally just not go :hugs:
     
  16. Lottie86

    Lottie86 Mummy to Findlay & Iona

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    I don't see the issue myself, tbh I can't remember the last time I went to a wedding where children were invited :shrug:

    If I ever got married and it was up to me (unfortunately for me my OH is like all of you and doesn't agree with 'no children' weddings) I would have a no children rule. Weddings cost a lot of money and so a lot of people wouldn't want to have children running around being noisy.
     
  17. cat81

    cat81 Well-Known Member

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    I can understand why people might want to say no children for their weddings but I also think there is a difference between 'children' and young babies. I think that sometimes people who don't have kids don't realise what a big deal it is for a new mummy to be separated from her baby for even a few hours and don't realise what they are asking. Particularly if you are breastfeeding, it just isn't possible.

    I personally wouldn't go and have turned down a couple of invitations since having LO for this reason. Whilst I can understand where they are coming from, if they want me there they have to accept that me and LO come as a package at the moment.

    I hope you manage to get something sorted. x
     
  18. special_kala

    special_kala love my bugs

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    They are well within their right to say no kids, it is their wedding after all. Same goes for you though your within your rights to say no thanks.
     
  19. NickyT75

    NickyT75 RIP Sophie my angel

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    I didnt have children at my wedding due to cost restraints...

    having said that... I didnt have any children of my own at the time so didnt see it as a big deal & thought people would be glad of the chance to have a night out/few drinks/let their hair down without worrying about their kids :shrug: I also assumed it wouldnt be a major problem for people to arrange babysitters for this 1 occasion

    BUT now that I have a LO of my own I kinda see it from the other side of the fence iyswim?

    Ideally id have loved to have loads of children there but it just wasnt financially possible & I felt really bad about it :( so this could well be the case for a lot of other people too :flower: x
     
  20. tommyg

    tommyg Mum to Smurf & TTC

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    Ok it's unfair that she's only given 2 weeks notice but who's names were on the invite if it was just yours and your partners then you should have queried then if your LO was invited.

    I got married 18months ago and would loved to have invited all of my friends and cousins children but that would have ment an extra 35-40 guests and have pushed me over the numbers for my venue and would have resulted in me trying to decide which friends / family didn't get invited.

    I also had the issue that some of our friends kids are teens / adults and do you include them as well? Result was that it was much easier to avoid offending anybody by saying "No kids". However one friend asked to bring their baby as was still being BF.
     

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