for gods sake....weddings!

[Noodles]

Ok it's unfair that she's only given 2 weeks notice but who's names were on the invite if it was just yours and your partners then you should have queried then if your LO was invited.

I agree. I would always presume that the invite would say 'Mr and Mrs Noodles and family' if children where included and just 'Mr and Mrs Noodles' if it were just for myself and my husband.

Our venue counted babies as a 'head' and for health and saftey regulations there were only allowed so many 'heads' in our room so by having for example 5 babies or children there it would have meant that 5 of our closest friends and family wouldn't have been able to share in our special day.

 

[MrsGlitz]

I wouldn't be able to go, we don't have any family locally and my local friends all have kids themselves.

 

[BabyJayne]

We only had a handful of children at our wedding - nieces and nephews mainly. No way could we have had everyone bringing their children and babies, there would have been loads of them, and it would have meant other people we really wanted there would have had to miss out.

I don't see the big deal - We haven't got any weddings this year, but if we were invited to one I would be surprised to see Madeline's name on there.

If you can't or don't want to get a sitter, you'll have to say thanks but no thanks.

 

[hopeandpray]

I would definitely want kids at my wedding but I respect that some people don't. They can be noisy, it's expensive, there are lots of extras involved in them being there like making the area child friendly. I wouldn't take it personally

 

[Kota]

We've got a similar thing at the end of May, a family members wedding which is no kids. Tbh, I'm a bit peeved about it, our family is super small. When we're all together, there's only about 20 of us, and I think there's a big difference between 'kids' who will be running around everywhere, need their own seat and their own meal, and a baby who will spend the night being held, won't need a seat, and won't need to be catered for. We've been told that we can bring him to the ceremony, but not the reception. And as I figure that theres no way he'll stay quiet or still for the time of the ceremony and I'll only end up outside with him anyway, that theres not much point in going at all.

 

[Chocciebutton]

I had several children at my wedding...my SIL has 6 children to start with!
I think it is sad to exclude children from weddings....I was a bridesmaid 3 times as a little girl and some of my favourite childhood memories are from going to weddings...it was exciting I would get bought a new dress and loved seeing the bride in her dress to me the bride was like a princess!

 

[shambaby]

we are getting married next year and cant wait to all the kiddies running around, we are even thinking hiring a bouncy castle so that when we are getting our pics done THE KIDS arent bored lol plus I want a shot on it haha xx

do it! we had a bouncy castle at our wedding and it was brilliant. got some great pics on it, too. just watch out for insurance - a lot of wedding insurance won't cover you if someone is injured on it and people have been sued! i think we got our insurance from m&s, which covered it.

to the op - it's a tricky one. i couldn't imagine having a wedding and excluding children - as others have said a wedding is about family, and children are a big part of that. on the other hand it is their choice, and if they don't want kids there there is not much you can do about it. your family comes first, though, so if you're not comfortable leaving your lo, then don't go.

 

[Windmills]

We've been invited to a wedding in June that's no kids after 7pm. I don't really care, I don't want to get drunk and make a twat of myself, sp I'll be leaving at 7 rather than getting her picked up by my mum iykwim!
In your situation, I can understand when people say no kids, and I think you have to remember that it's her big day. If you're really unhappy going without LO then just don't go.

 

[Tegans Mama]

Yeah I do understand when people say no kids at a wedding, especially if they've none of their own!! But to me kids are what make weddings fun. Who is the bride gonna dance with when none of the adults wanna dance?

 

[PepsiChic]

we had hundreds of kids at our wedding, more kids then adults and i loved every minute of it.

honestly i would probably go for the ceremony and then make excuses and leave (dont have anyone to look after LO during the evening) etc. i would go to the ceremony rather then reception in this case as the ceremony is the important part.

OR ask her if LO can come to the reception, just bare in mind you probably dont want to stay the whole reception anyway with the LO.

 

[Learnermum]

We had no children at our wedding BUT neither of us had neices or nephews, cousins were all late teens and older, none of our friends had children so it was a bit of a non-issue.

I think now it would be a bit different as there are a few kids on the scene so I think that I can see from both points of view, but I do agree that 2 weeks is very short notice and I think that I would have trouble deciding what to do.

 

[crazyguider]

I said no kids on my wedding day looking back I feel guilty and selfish
I have been to so many weddings though where parents have failed to contain their kids at the service, a baby crying can't be helped but I went to one where a 4m old was having a proper red faced hungry scream and the mum sat and watched the service not nipping outside to feed her. I understand not wanting to be missing the service but the minister had to ask her to sort the baby out
another wedding I went to, the bride had given out books to keep the kids amused and the brides niece sat narrating the book to the brides brother he did not tell her to be a little quieter despite the bride turning to look at her brother several times. She was tamping, she then started running around the font and the dad sat ignoring her

I realise these are extreme examples. I would not have minded kids at the reception and I certainly said they were welcome at the evening party.
I did have a mate who had a 5 week old who I told her to bring her to the service as the baby was breastfed. However I stopped my other mate bringing a 4yrold and an 13m old as the grandparents looked after them all the time. I did get a little fuss, but three years on I hardly see her and I have not even had a congrats on facebook, let alone a card for emilia x

 

[PepsiChic]

at my brother and SILs wedding their 2 year old neice ran around picking up all the petals she had previously thrown down as a flower girl ran up to SIL (the bride) and handed them all to her and said "merry christmas"

it was hilarious and cute all at the same time.

 

[crazyguider]

Aww bless her! I agree I can be a cute sometime I went to my cousins wedding and her niece was picking up all the petals and re throwing them at the bride, there is a difference between cute and disruptive and it's not the kids fault it's the parents as the kids don't get how serious a wedding ceremony is.

If I was invited to a wedding now I would go and leave lo with her grandma and dadcu even if she was invited to the service then I would pick her up for the rest of it. If my lo was not invited to the whole wedding if it was local I would nip home mid day to check on her but if it's a distance it would not be possible to go without a 6w old so I would politely decline really xx

 

[kmac625]

I love the idea of kids at a wedding reception, depending on what kind of party it is. We didn't have any kids at our wedding except for my niece who was 14 at the time (but not my nephews as they were 8 and twin 6 year olds). They would have been the only kids there (none of our friends had kids and they were the only grandkids in the family at the time) and would have been bored to tears. My dh is a musician and we threw a gig for our reception at a bar and as it was we needed to get special permission just to have my niece there as it was technically a 19+ venue only. If there had been more people with children invited to the wedding it might have been a different story, however my brother and sil were fine leaving the boys with their grandma at home and the boys probably had a much better time than they would have had if they had come.

 

[SRTBaby]

I simply wouldn't go!

 

[CMIL]

I didnt have kids at my wedding except close family ones. My friends thanked me that they could have an adult day to enjoy. There is no doubt about it, taking children means you spend all day distracted wondering where they are or if they will show you up in church and then you have to leave early for their bedtime. No doubt cost was an issue too and numbers because I had a 100 limit at my venue.

If a friend had been breastfeeding though and she had a word with me I think I would have been more than happy to accommodate that.

Try not to take it as an affront because thats not how its meant and its not compulsory. Dont go if you aren't happy!

 

[tu123]

Not happy-dont go.

TBH, my OH family is huuuuge with his parents each having five brothers and sisters. We had 4 kids and that was enough. We would not have anymore. Money was tight and each child (ages 4 to 12) was counted at full price by the caterers.

It was lovely though. They all got a bag of goodies on their seat to help keep them occupied and they all let rip on the coca cola and hogged the dance floor

We would not have a problem with any breast fed or bottle fed babies but older than that? No more than the four. For us-it was just an expense thing.

 

[pinklightbulb]

If they want no kids that's up to them, you don't have to go hun if you don't like it I would respect the choice of the bride and groom and get someone to watch LO if I really wanted to go, or if not I would respectfully decline but not say anything too harsh about kids not being allowed while doing so It's not fair we have to miss out sometimes but that's life

 

[justwaiting]

I said No kids at my wedding purely for numbers, I couldn't fit another person big or small in that room. She hasn't done it out of disrespect to your family but probably a practical decision. The people with Kids brought them to the ceremony and then they were babysat but they did leave early and I understood that. Also my wedding didn't have anywhere to house a sleeping baby there was no back room or anything, which would have been unfair to the children. Also from my experience at wedding small children get over tired and then the parents don't enjoy the night and have to leave early anyway. I know you want your whole family there but also some people think that they are giving you a night off to enjoy yourself and wouldn't think you would be offended by the no children request. If your that offended don't go but I honestly think it was probably a matter of practicality not exclusion that has caused the couple to make this decision.