For the BF mums, why did you choose to BF, esp if you found it tough at first?

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by chetnaz, Feb 1, 2011.

  1. chetnaz

    chetnaz Have 3 boys + girl on way

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    Thanks to I_am_Livid, we have all learnt the reasons why some mums decided on FF and the thread has been a real eye opener for some mums and has hopefully taught us to not judge so quickly. It also got me thinking...

    Why did you choose to BF? What were your reasons behiind this choice, especially if you struggled to begin with, but persevered, when in this day and age there is the option to FF?

    The reason I ask is because I am a BF mum but I have to say with all my kids it was a reall struggle. WIth my firstborn I developed really bad mastitits after just four days and had to take strong antibiotics and stop BFing him for a few days until it cleared up. For the first two weeks every time he latched on, I would literally scream in pain. But my mum begged me to just give it two weeks as she insisted that the pain goes after this time. So I decided after 2 weeks if it was no better, I'd give it up. Thankfully like she said, by week two the pain had gone, the mastititis cleared up and my little fella had learnt how to suckle properly and we were off! After that I loved it and I BF him for 9 months.

    With the twins I knew it would be more of a struggle but I figured I've done it before, I can surely do it again. Two boobs, two babies, no problem! Wrong!!
    The boys were tiny so would tire very easily and couldnt latch on properly to bgein with. I found myself BFing and expressing ALL day - that's all I did. THe pain was bad and getting worse by the day. Rather than the pain dissapearing after 2 weeks like it did with DS1, it got worse. I thought about giving up countless of times. Why torture myself I wondered, when there are alternatives. But the guilt (and my mum again!) wouldnt let me. So I persevered. I guess I kept thinking I had to give the twins the same beginning I gave DS1.

    I am still BFing. But I am constantly tired, emotional and hungry! I feel like a milk machine and all I seem to do is BF. Don't get me wrong, I love it. Because the only real one to one bonding time I get with each twin, is when I BF them. I love the way they stroke and pat the boob while feeding. Love the way they have thrived and got so chubby just on breastmilk. But it's been very tough and sometimes I feel that i've had to sacrifice the time I used to have with DS1 playing and doing stuff with him, to BF the twins. Every time he wants something from me, I find myself telling him I'm busy feeding the boys. It's really affected him too - he actually has asked me a couple of times if he can "have a turn" once the boys have finished! He's jealous of the time & cuddles they are getting with me.

    So back to my question. For me I sometimes feel maybe I should have FF the twins so that I had more time with DS1 and that i wouldn't have felt so drained all the time. So why did you choose to BF? Did you struggle and do you think it's been worth it?
     
  2. bloodbinds

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    Think this should be in the breastfeeding section, you might get more responses!

    I breastfed for a year, i thought i was fab - i also did a bit of expressed breast feeding so other people could feed her too.

    Though i never had any problems, i think with my next baby i'll FF!
     
  3. louandivy

    louandivy Well-Known Member

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    I just never really considered formula as an option, everyone around me assumed I would be breastfeeding so I guess I did too? I found it very difficult at first, which was a huge shock to me! I don't think Ivy properly latched on for about a week, I had to hand express colostrum into a syringe and give it to her, and when I left the hospital after two days I was absolutely terrified, and dreaded each time she cried because I knew it meant I'd have to feed her again! I'm not going to lie, I hated it at first. It felt so lonely and I just couldn't seem to satisfy her, but eventually at around 8 weeks it suddenly just clicked and its been a breeze since then!

    So I'm not entirely sure why I chose to BF, it wasn't even really a conscious decision I just always knew that I would, so when I was struggling at the beginning I guess in my mind I just didn't really have any other choice than to just battle on. And I'm so glad I did!
     
  4. bathbabe

    bathbabe Mum to 3 boys

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    Because thay are able bodied? Lol joke. Because what it comes down to is in the majority of cases "breast really is best" x
     
  5. CocoaOne

    CocoaOne Well-Known Member

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    I never had an awful time BF, but it was very stressful as LO was very gassy, in a lot of pain and was being sick a lot, and I was convinced that it was my milk that was making her suffer. So, I tried giving her 2-3 bottles of formula (after I'd tried gripe water, colief, cutting out chocolate, dairy etc) and it still made no difference - so I persavered and eventually it got better. I looked for a reason everyday to quit BF, but I just couldn't, probably because all the lovely ladies in the BF section kept telling me that it would get better, and I had faith in them!

    And now, I couldn't quit even if I wanted to - as LO stopped taking milk from a bottle at 4 months.

    Bloodbinds - do you mind me asking why you'll FF next time? Is it so you have more freedom? That's definitely the only downside I've found to BF so far.
     
  6. bloodbinds

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    Well i'm hoping my circumstances will be different.

    I was single when i had Bella and jobless for almost a year, so i had the time to sit around at home and breastfeed. If she wanted to cluster feed i could be up all night doing it as i could sleep in all day the next day, and also breastfeeding is a lot easier than FF, no bottles to sterilse and heat up, so with being on my own it was easy to just flop out the boob when she was hungry! Lol.

    Next time though i'm hoping i'll be in the prime of my career, with a gorgeous husband and Bella running around wanting to be played with! So i will have someone there to sterilise bottles for me, or get up and give her a feed, and i'll have the freeddom to play with Bella and put her to bed etc.

    I was lucky i got to breastfeed for a year, just think it would be more convinient for our family if i FF next to (IF my life plans out the way i want it to!! Lol)
     
  7. CocoaOne

    CocoaOne Well-Known Member

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    Not that we are planning any more kids, but I'd definitely think twice about BF if I had another baby. I know it's nutritionally best, but a lot would depend on what age M is. I have a lot of admiration for mum's who BF with a toddler running around - I've got no idea how they manage it!

    I'd probably EBF for the first few months and then combi-feed after
     
  8. kerrie24

    kerrie24 me,him and 3 lo's

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    I really dont know.Id like to tell it straight even though Im a bf mum im not gonna lie about it.From my perspective
    a) it did hurt,a lot!Ive had chapped bleeding nipples,thrush,mastitis,grazed nipples from teething later on
    b)I felt at times that I should give him a bottle so I could spend more time with my other 2 children
    and c)I honestly havent seen any differences between their health/intelligence/whatever.
    I cant even say its for the health benefits as my dd (BF FOR 22 MONTHS)suffered terribly from ear infections from 9 months till 4 years and was eventually refferred to ent for it.(touch wood she hasnt had one for a year now)She also has excema :shrug:
    My first son slept through from 3 months 7pm-6am on sma gold and both my bf babies have been terrible sleepers.However up until 3 months,my eldest (ff) had terrible colic,the other 2 didnt.

    BUT I just love it:cloud9:,its really special to me and Im so proud that they have gained weight on my milk and were such happy babies.Also the ease of going out wherever whenever you always have babies milk,no preperation required,and ive never forgotten the bottles lol
     
  9. daisii

    daisii Well-Known Member

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    cheaper, better for baby, don't have to sort out all the bottles!
     
  10. bloodbinds

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    Yeah, as when you have more children you need to think about what is best for all of you, not just what is best for the newborn. Yes, technically breastfeeding is 'best' for the baby. But if you're feeding on demand every hour, it would be hard to give the same time and attention to your other children! I also have a lot of admiration for those who can do it with a toddler around. Maybe if the child was older and they understood and could still talk to you while you breastfeed. But toddlers want to be played with an get indivdual attention and wouldn't be able to understand why mummy is spending all her time with a baby attached to her! Lol.
     
  11. Marzipan_girl

    Marzipan_girl A lioness and her cub

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    I CHOSE to breastfeed because I figured it was best, as everyone said it was the best thing for him...although I don't think it's so better as to make me feel bad that I no longer DO breastfeed. But I thought it would be easier so I thought why not? I also chose to as it's free, and convenient! PLUS less smelly and cleaner poo's, less wind, puking and colic apparently. However it was impossible, so I stopped after expressing 2 weeks after he was born. I admit, I felt very guilty when I stopped...and I don't know why, as I don't think theres anything wrong with formula.
     
  12. xemmax

    xemmax mummy in love

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    chetnaz, what a wonderful job you're doing! i can totally understand how you might feel like you're missing out on time with your son, i absolutely commend you feeding twins, as i can imagine how time consuming it is. how long do you plan to breastfeed for?
     
  13. ouchwithNo.2

    ouchwithNo.2 Well-Known Member

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    my first didn't go to plan - undetected tongue tie and by the time anyone realised what the issue was my milk had dried up (switched to formula).
    I was young then - 22yrs and just assumed BF was what you did, MW's didn't discuss formula so I went along with the flow. Those few weeks mentally broke me down.
    Still, 6yrs later along comes no.2 and I plan to BF once again.
    Not for health reasons but financially really (sorry if that sounds off, but it is the truth).
    I wanted to spend a whole year off work (so 9mths mat leave and 3mths unpaid) and figured that BF would help stretch the money a bit further.
    She latched well, but it still hurt for a good 10 days.
    Then I got flu like symptoms which became mastitis in my right breast (for some reason never got much milk out of that side and I have a flatter nipple so LO did struggle more to latch when vvv hungry).
    We got over that and then at 4wks the constant feeding started - 5/6hrs every evening from 5pm on.
    I had no time to go to the loo let alone give my 6yr old a cuddle, do his homework, play a game or anything. He started to feel left out and daddy was trying to do everything himself - cooking dinner, uniform, collecting our son from his nans. It all became too much.
    She wasn't even feeding all that time, mostly comfort but she refused a dummy and would scream blue murder if I removed her.
    My son said he wanted cuddles with me but 'my sister is always there...'
    That finished it for me, the family need was greater and I quit after 5/6 weeks
    x
     
  14. Lightworker

    Lightworker Well-Known Member

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    For me it didn't feel like chose, I just knew I was going to BF and never once did I stop to think of FFing. When DD1 was born I had some very painful sore cracked nipples and painful episiotomy stitches, but I just saw that as part and parcel of BFing and just grinned and bore it. When I went back to work FT I expressed during the day and even then I didn't consider FF, I don't know why to formula just didnt register in my head, maybe because of me being African?
     
  15. Celesse

    Celesse Well-Known Member

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    I didn't make a choice to breastfeed, I just never even considered formula feeding. When we had problems I did everything I could to overcome those problems.

    My view is that breastfeeding is the biological norm, and I would only FF if there was no other choice. Formula is a brilliant invention that has saved many babies lives as a substitute for breast milk, but it is only a substitute and as long as my boobs work and my baby can suckle then I see no reason to FF.
     
  16. chetnaz

    chetnaz Have 3 boys + girl on way

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    This is one of the major reasons I've almost regretted BF. From what I can see around me, all the family members/friends who have Bfed, have found that their baby doesnt sleep through until much later or are bad sleepers. All my kids have woken up every 2/3 hours (even at the age of 7 months +) because they want booby at night, and I know they're not hungry, its just a comfort thing! Whereas friends who have FF, have had babies sleeping through from a very early stage. I have to say, this is one thing i've envied about FF babies n mums! But then I think to myself how much I love them snuggling into me for a feed, knowing that i'm the only one that can give them this - kinda makes up for the sleepless nights :)
     
  17. anna matronic

    anna matronic Mummy to Evan :-)

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    At first I had no intention of breastfeeding (see I_am_Livids thread for reasons!) but I decided I would give it a go. I also have to say I was under the assumption it was a piece of piss! I had no clue about latching, fore milk, hind milk, block feeding, cluster feeding engorged boobs. I was blind to the whole thing. I had no clue I'd be stuck on a sofa feeding for hours on end in the early days.

    Me and Evan have got on fine and yes it has been bloody hard, way harder than FF (except the preparing bottles!!) It is also stressful, but at other times it is just so convinient to whip my boob out instead of sorting a bottle.

    Evan's reflux was probably the one factor that made me consider full time FF, but we have muddled through and it seems to be a laundry issue only now and he's no longer on the meds.

    Soon I will be weaning evan on to bottles during the day as I am going back to work so have nothing against FF what so ever.

    I am glad I made the choice to bf, I have a healthy, happy chunky little boy :)
     
  18. hivechild

    hivechild Mummy to Ronan

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    I had never really given it much thought. It was just the norm in my family so I just went into it with the vague attitude of trying to make it to 6 months, but hopefully a year. It sucked in the beginning. It hurt, he wanted feeding all the time, he was jaundiced (for close to 3 months even after being readmitted for it after 6 days), had reflux, slept poorly and because of the reflux and needing too be kept upright after feeds only really slept on me.

    If i hadn't had my mum here for the first 5 weeks, her support along with the support of my husband, fantastic lactation consultants and the BFing forum here, I'm not sure if i would have made it through but I'm so glad I did as it got crazy easy after that.
     
  19. Mark&Annie

    Mark&Annie Well-Known Member

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    Never even occurred to me not to BF, it was what babies ate, and I was going to feed my baby! I never had any problems at all, I loved it and can't wait to do it again! I was prepared to feed Joshua as long as he wanted, but he decided at one that he didn't need it any more :'(
     
  20. freckleonear

    freckleonear Crunchy mummy

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    As far as I was concerned there wasn't really a choice to make. I studied modules on infant nutrition at university and what my lecturers told me and what I saw under the microscope were enough to convince me. Because formula simply wasn't an option in my mind, I had no choice but to keep going through the difficult times. Fortunately my mother was also pro-breastfeeding and so I was well informed before I started.

    It was very hard at first, particularly with my first baby, and yes there were times when I was screaming in pain or crying in despair. It has definitely been worth it though and after the first few weeks it is so easy and convenient. I wouldn't say I enjoy breastfeeding because I personally don't, but I would never do it differently. Breastfeeding with a toddler around wasn't as hard as I expected either!
     

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