For those with child/children, has life changed much?

[MissN8]

just wondering was it a really big change after having a baby? i cant wait to have one but worry my life will change so much. we don't go out much and don't drink much so that part will be ok but worried about lack of sleep haha and tiredness and hope it doesn't cause too many arguments between us

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

The sleep part is luck of the draw, unfortunately. We lucked out and DD started sleeping 12+ hours at 5 weeks... those first weeks were the most difficult. I refer to them as the "dark days". We weren't really into the bar/drinking scene too much, so life really hasn't changed in drastic ways. We just have another little person tagging along with us when we go out. You have to make some changes, like making sure you have what baby needs when you leave, and planning around naptimes. I'm still surprised how easily our daughter has just kind of slid into place in our lives.

It's good to discuss parenting beforehand, any hot topics you think might pop up. That way you're on the same page before baby arrives! And just be flexible, because what you think might be best turns out to not be true once you're a parent.

My advice for once you bring your bundle home - take it one day (and sometimes one hour) at a time! Having a good support system, from your partner to any trusted family/friends, is a huge help too for making the transition.

 

[stellababy]

yes life changes completely! there will be more arguments and everyone can be grumpy due to lack of sleep, but life is never boring, thats for sure ))

my advice- embrace your new life, accept the differences and enjoy!

 

[MollyMalone]

Definitely!! The first few weeks/months your relationship with DH/OH is REALLY tested, lack of sleep, stress, crazy hormones, etc all contribute. I would also advise you to talk about your expectations before baby comes about each other role. I had no problems in this area, luckily DH is very hands on and does as much if not more than me. But plenty of friends were in for a big shock.

Overtime it slowly gets better, but for the first few months even just going around the corner to get bread and milk needs to be planned like a holiday and it may become frustrating. They are all temporary things and get better but at the time it feels like it will never end.

In my opinion when we have a baby we are thrown in the deep end. The newborn phase was by far the hardest for us... After that things did nothing but improve and get easier. But still, life nearly 2 years later is not the same. I was a very social person, not big into drinking, but going to the cinema every week and loads of outings in the spur of the moment. Can't do many of those things now and don't see friends as often. After working and going to college I want to spend the little time I have with DS. But I wouldnt change my life back to the way it was for the world. I don't think it was better before, just different.

 

[staralfur]

For sure.

You have no idea what a luxury just popping to the store or going out for lunch/dinner whenever you want is! Leaving the house has been an ordeal for the past 3 years. You have to plan things around naps, bedtime, if your baby is fussy, etc.

Even when at home you don't really get to do what you want to do when you want to do it.... I can't tell you how many moments throughout the day I just want to sit and zone out for a few minutes but with a toddler it's non-stop. They drag you from one activity to the next, make a mess that needs to be cleaned up over and over and over again. And don't even get me started on how it feels to want nothing more in life than to sleep but to not be able to.

BUT - it's also changed my life in so many great ways. I find that we actually do more now that she's a bit older. It's fun going to the zoo, doing touristy stuff, things that you wouldn't really normally do but get to experience because you have this little person who is amazed by everything!

Also some of my happiest moments come from watching her grow up. It's a really wonderful feeling to see your baby grow into a child and develop their own personality and enjoy their life. Totally worth all of the hard parts (though sometimes when I'm sleep deprived I might require some convincing ).

 

[LockandKey]

saying that life changes doesn't even begin to scratch the surface.....

I really don't even know where to begin with this, but I think the other ladies have put it nicely.

Tiredness, fatigue, mental and physical exhaustion go hand in hand with parenting, though I will say that making sure I have some me time, or set aside time to do the things I enjoy, indulging in personal hobbies has preserved my sanity.

My life is not my own any more, I don't operate on my wants, needs, desires, or own schedule any longer, and never will again. Tiny people which I have created have taken over.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

As others have said, the sleep thing can be luck of the draw! I never felt sleep deprived.. For the first few months baby was waking every 2 hours but only for a feed and I always napped during the day with him, but obviously that's not an option for the second baby or if you have to be back at work soon. My son was a terrible sleeper between 12 and 24 months also, but again enjoyed a long nap with him in the day. He's now 3, doesn't nap but has 12 beautiful uninterrupted hours of sleep

As for general day-to-day life obviously everything does change a lot.. Even little things like having to get baby changed and dressed and strapped into the car seat and make sure it has a bag full of stuff just to pop to get a couple of bits from the supermarket can be a bit daunting. Or snuggling up on the sofa for a take away with DH then hearing crying and having to jump up to sort out a baby, sometimes it can feel like your life and relationship isn't your own.

But I still wouldn't change it! My boy is 3 now and we adore being a young family.. He brings us so much happiness and fun even if life is quite chaotic

 

[aimee-lou]

https://youtu.be/uFQfylQ2Jgg

This.....


That's all I have to say lol

 

[stephaniexx]

Aimee-Lou that was amazing

But yeah your life changes tremendously. The smallest every day things become a challenge at first (I remember thinking I was never going to shower again when I was a new mum and hubby worked 12 hour shifts) but you do adjust quickly and now I don't know what to do with myself on them rare moments where I don't have any of the girls! Even getting in the car alone is a novelty haha!

 

[krissie328]

I can echo what others are saying. My relationship with DH has really been tested. We are almost 9 months on and it still is struggling. We had a good solid one before but I think 9 years of us made is that much harder.

I can also say the sleeping bit has been rough. As a pp mentioned the "dark days" for sure. DS had his nights/days backwards and I was just out of it. Even now he wakes 1-3 times a night. Its a struggle but its one that is completely worth it.

We are not and were not drinkers or did much but we did enjoy going to the movies. Now that is down to once every few months. But I don't mind. Netflix is way cheaper! We are just now going out a bit more and trying to have dinner once in awhile. Christian is bigger and can sit at the table and munch on some it so it is fun.

I think our lives have changed a lot, but for the better. I want to be a better person and it has made me redo my priorities. Heck after 9 moves in 10 years we are finally buying our own home because we want stability! While it scares me to make that commitment but I know our wandering lifestyle is not longer appropriate.

And I totally agree it is weird not taking him with me everywhere. When DH watches him so I can go to the store or take a bath its always a nice treat. But I find myself often rushing to get back.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

https://youtu.be/uFQfylQ2Jgg

This.....


That's all I have to say lol

Haha I remember when this first came on tv, I was 39 weeks pregnant with my 1st baby and watching with my DH! It's all quite spot on

 

[Angel_blues]

I like this thread, makes me happy!

 

[wtbmummy]

https://youtu.be/uFQfylQ2Jgg

This.....


That's all I have to say lol

I've been feeling rather stressed today and just needed to say thanks for making me laugh more than I have in a while!!!

And to OP....
I am in the bath (I actually managed it) and you know the joke one foot in and the baby cries??? Well I've just had that

I will say though my life didn't really change, it began!!! I finally knew what I was put on this planet for. I am the loving mother and a wife to the best two guys ever and no matter what else goes on in my life, I know I can't get that wrong!!

For us the first 6months were a blur, I had pnd so it was very tough for us. However I will say my relationship is better than I could have ever dreamed. Those first 6months of NO sleep (and it was almost to the day 6months) were soooo tough on our relationship, but my husband mellowed knowing most of what I was saying was just mummy brain and he was very supportive.

It will test you and your oh/dh in ways you couldn't imagine but aslong as you both have the same goals and lots of love it will be amazing!!!

Our ds still wakes in the night or extra early (and I'm no morning person) but this is the life we chose and we wouldn't change it for anything!!!

Now we are planning no.2 and this time there will be no sleep when baby sleeps joys. The housework must be done for fear of ds getting into something, he has to be fed 6 times a day including snacks and well he will need mummy time when baby naps. But I think the hard 6months again will be worth it to give our ds a sibling

 

[tverb84]

This thread is really informative. In July I'm going to become an aunt for the first time. Does anyone have advice on what to expect? Did anyone life change when they became an aunt?

 

[fxmummyduck]

You just get to do all the fun bits as an Aunt! It's great!

 

[kksy9b]

Being an aunt is so much fun tara! You get to do all the wonderful and fun parts (with some messy bits thrown in) but skip the sleep deprevation lol. But seriously- I became an aunt when I was 13 and now have 6 nieces/ nephews. They are all amazing. I love getting to go to their games and recitals, practices and birthdays. We get to take them to movies and the park, out for ice cream and lhave ate night talks. I get to encourage and uplift them and gice them a place to vent when mom and dad wont do. You are going to adore your niece and she you. You will get to have this amazing bond with her like no other. Be prepared- some babies don't latch on to others for a bit. I have one nephew who would just scream and cry if he was with me...bit once he got into toddlerhood we bonded. He's 11 now and we are still very close. Others bond right away and you will be one of their favorite people. Enjoy it!

 

[tverb84]

I can't wait to become an aunt. I remember an episode of Friends were Ben cried with Monica held him but was ok with everyone else.

 

[annio84]

I would say the biggest change for me is not being able to go out on a whim and it taking so long to get ready when I do want to go out. I've had to become a lot more organised!

For me the lack of sleep wasn't too much issue because I work shifts so my sleep pattern is pretty messed up anyway.

 

[itsnowmyturn]

I don't think it's changed all that much other than having to plan when u will leave the house and starting to get ready to leave the house in more than enough time (from waking up and gettin us both ready, packing for the weekend and packing the car it took between 2 and 3.hours, that includes a feed and a nappy change, obviously doesn't take as long if ur Not going away for the weekend) also the amount of stuff u need to take everywhere with u!!

I haven't found it a strain on the relationship but oh is a really laid back person and if we ever have a little bicker about something it's generally very trivial like who's doing tea or the dishwasher and we just forget it ever happened after a minute or so. Sleep deprivation is hard, I am finding that the first 8 weeks, although hard, are actually just preparing u for past 8 weeks, things got so much harder then, baby is 11 weeks today and I got about 4 hours sleep (broken up) last night because she decided that she wanted feeding every 3 hours instead if going the 5 or 6 she normally does. Breastfed babies don't tend to sleep through as quick as formula fed (although some exceptions) but it's so much easier to do the feed for breastfed. As DD is breastfed I haven't had a proper nights sleep in 11 weeks, even when staying with family who are happy to do the feed because it means expressing first and then being painfully full by the morning. (in reality it's longer than 11 weeks because I had pregnancy insomnia and rhinitis of pregnancy which woke me up too)

Honestly it's going to change ur life but how much it changes I feel is up to . I think the big changes will come when she's a.a toddler because slipping a baby (who can't crawl or walk and sleeps most of the time) into ur routine is actually relatively easy, when she's moving and bored and into everything I think it will get much harder

 

[MissN8]

Thanks for all the replies ladies, haven't had a chance to watch vid yet but will. I don't think it will put too much strain on us but wont know til it happens I hope my oh gets involved and helps out too. I suppose its the crying and lack of sleep that worries me the most but will get used to it and will all be worth it.