Freaking the hell out already!

[Teri7489]

Not sure if some of you remember me moaning and groaning about the last year since my daughter was born, so sorry if you do!

Just basic recap....Isabella was born Halloween 2013 by urgent forcep assistance due to her being back to back, stuck and heart rate dropping rapidly. I had an episiotomy and ended up with a 4th degree tear that needed 75 stitches. I am left faecally incontinent and have a numb perineum. When she was five weeks old my gallbladder packed in, resulting in multiple admissions to hospital, surgery and still have the attacks to this day. Couple that with constantly leaking bile from a very sore bottom I'm ruined. Despite all that wanted another baby, but didn't think of delivery! I guess I just blocked it all out. I really don't want a section but terrified I'll have the same shitty (ha!) experience. Anyone have 3rd/4th degree tear and go on to have an ok delivery next time??? I know it's really really early to be thinking about it but baby has to come out eventually xxxx

 

[sg0720]

Omg so sorry for what you went thru I can not relate but I tore with my son and needed stitches and w my daughter I did not tear at all I was terrified that I would

I pray u have a much better delivery thus time around good luck!

 

[Mummy.kt]

I had a 3rd degree tear, had to go to surgery after for stitches as the midwife, nurses and doctors couldn't do it.
I haven't got any effects from it but I am gonna ask my mw when I see her at the first appointment. I can remember them saying I couldn't have a water birth for any future births but that was nearly 6yr ago x

 

[Teri7489]

Oh, why can't you have a water birth? That's what I was going to ask for this time as I know in the early stages being in the bath really helped. I was supposed to have a water birth last time but was told my BMI was too high so was dangerous. Glad I didn't now mind. I'm now 4 stone lighter and a lot more informed for this baby's delivery.

 

[Mummy.kt]

Oh, why can't you have a water birth? That's what I was going to ask for this time as I know in the early stages being in the bath really helped. I was supposed to have a water birth last time but was told my BMI was too high so was dangerous. Glad I didn't now mind. I'm now 4 stone lighter and a lot more informed for this baby's delivery.

Because I tore, tbh I lost control, I was in labour ages, tired the usual and didn't listen to what I had to do. So it was my own fault. So this time because i lost control last time I have decided on a normal birth with no pain relief hopefully. I want to make sure I do things right this time lol.
Well done on your weight loss, I put on 4 stone on with my last pregnancy and lost a bit of it I should have really lost more before falling pregnant this time.

 

[Teri7489]

Thank you, wish I could say it was hard work (was ill) but glad I've lost it.

Aw that doesn't sound fun. Brave you for attempting natural this time! I had two failed epis and ended up stuck on my back which is why I think it went badly. I'd really like a more active labour this time but got a feeling I'll be told to have a section. Xxx

 

[mummytobe_93]

Teri I remember you talking about your bad delivery, sorry it was so awful for you. Just out of curiosity is their anything they can do for you for the incontinence? I imagine that's really not nice.

Many of my friends that have has episotimy and forceps with first baby had a normal delivery second time with no tears xx

 

[mummytobe_93]

Also regarding water births I know you are more likely to tear quite badly in the water so that could be a reason x

 

[QueenQueso]

Also regarding water births I know you are more likely to tear quite badly in the water so that could be a reason x

I honestly don't know and have never heard anyone say thing. Why are you more likely to tear in the water?

 

[Mummy.kt]

Also regarding water births I know you are more likely to tear quite badly in the water so that could be a reason x

I honestly don't know and have never heard anyone say thing. Why are you more likely to tear in the water?

I was told that from the midwife after my water birth albeit 6 yrs ago so things may have changed. The reason my midwife said i couldn't was because they are not able to intervene like they would if it was a normal birth.

 

[mummytobe_93]

Yes that's the reason because when you have a birth where midwives can clearly see what's going on down there they can tell you to stop pushing or give little pushes etc. or if they think a tear is going to be awful they can intervene and give a little cut.

My midwife told me that you get more 3rd and 4th degree tears in water birth rather than 1st and 2nd

 

[QueenQueso]

Hm, I've never heard anything like that! None of the hospitals around here allow water births, so I never looked into it much. But I do remember reading that you're more likely to tear worse following a small cut than if they just let you tear on your own. But again, no personal knowledge whatsoever. I've never had either of those things happen.

 

[emmi26]

My friend had an awful delivery too hun just like you 4 th degree tear bless her she's just had her second baby what she did was try for the natural birth she wanted they did a presentation scan at 36 and 38 weeks check baby was in a good position with the agreement that if baby looked to be in bad position she would have a section. Both scans confirmed baby was in great position she had a panic when she went into labour got scared again they have her a scan confirmed baby was in perfect position. Baby was born naturally 9lb and she only needed 2 stitches
So it can be done but you need the right support
I'm sorry you had such a rough ride last time it sounds horrendous hun

 

[Rafferty]

My cousin had pretty much the exact same experience with DS1. She has since had two more baby boys and has opted for c-sections with both. I know it's not ideal, but she was very happy with c sections, and recovery was way easier. She plans to have surgery when she's done having babies for the fecal incontinence. It will get better!!