"Friend"

[winterbabies3]

So, after finding out for sure yesterday that I was 8 weeks pregnant, whos the first person you tell? Your bff! And what does she say, "omg" and then 10 mins later, "I'm happy for you." well it doesnt sound it! And thats all she has said.....mind you this has happened before when my husband and i got a house, showed little to no excitment! Now here i am wondering if i should go through and be her maid or honor for her wedding! I just feel like she isn't really interested in anything GOOD that happens in my life. Would you be upset if that's all your bff said?

 

[amytrisha]

Could she be jealous?

 

[winterbabies3]

She has 2 kids and planning a wedding and has a house that she is buying off her grandparents...i just dont know what she would be jealous of.

 

[amytrisha]

That’s so strange. Especially since looking at your signature she should be much more supportive considering your past history.
I wouldn’t be happy either, but don’t let her put a downer on your happy news.
I’d personally distance myself, let her make the effort x

 

[winterbabies3]

And she has been there for every single one of those losses and births! Yes, this baby was a surprise, no, we were not trying, but its still another baby in the family that she has been called auntie to the others! I just dont get it. Thanks for the advice

 

[red_head]

Maybe she’s worried about you, because of everything you’ve been through and doesn’t want you to be hurt again? Plus it sounds like she has a lot of her own stuff going on. She was surprised, and then said she was happy for you - I think that sounds like a good reaction. Im a little worried about telling my bff as I’m her maid of honor next year and I’m worried about how we’ll sort out my dress with a growing bump, and also she’s going to have a (possibly screaming) baby I’m going to be dealing with at her wedding, rather than her being my main focus. Maybe she was thinking those things too? I will understand if she’s upset a bit, because I know she’ll also be really happy for me.
Anyway, congratulations!

 

[xarlenex]

How soon is her wedding? Maybe she's concerned about whether or not you'd fit into a dress? I remember how I felt when one of my bridesmaid got a boob job!

 

[mel28nicole]

^that was my friend’s concern! I found out I was due only 4 weeks after one of my best friends wedding. When I ordered the dress I had to order the biggest size because I had no idea how big I would be. She didn’t sound too excited but everything worked out.

This time around she also didn’t sound so thrilled because she is currently having a hard time conceiving. Which at the time I didn’t know, she was keeping it to herself.

 

[flowergirl7]

I think it’s jealousy. Sadly people can be like that even if they have really good things going on in their own lives. And winterbabies said that this isn’t the only time this has happened. She’s been like this for other big things that have happened in her life as well.

Personally I’m very excited for you!!!

 

[doggylover]

It could be that maybe she is ttc, or has been for a while, and is jealous, but not in a horrible way? If she has been ttc or even ntnp, to find out someone else has it happen so easily is such a kick in the teeth - I speak from experience. Doesn’t mean you aren’t happy for them, it just hurts your own heart too

 

[smileyfaces]

I dont find it odd at all

 

[OICC]

I think people have different emotional responses then you.
And that is okay.
You are extra sensitive right now.
I am super sensitive all the time and always feel like no body cares about my life.

If she has alot going on, she's probably preoccupied with it.
And know that though she probably is happy for you
You can't expect people to have the same emotional connection to your pregnancy as you do...
I'm sure when the baby is here she will help and be there for you.
8 weeks is early, so maybe shes trying to not get too excited because things can happen in that time.

I had an experience with my mom not giving a shit about my first pregnancy test and it turned out I lost it and miscarried because I put myself through emotional stress thinking no body cared about me.

So relax, for your bodies sake.
... It will be okay

And I'm sure you are loved and she does care in her own way.

 

[Amethyste]

I ve got 3 good friends, I told one that I hardly ever see anymore but she hasn't reply yet. That was last month. She never showed very much interested in my daughter ( never bought her anything or even a card) so I am not surprised but It annoys me, I ll ask my 2 other best friends when I see them what she is like with their children. That friend doesn't have any children, she got pregnant 2 years ago and she choose to terminate it because the time wasn't right so I don't know what to think about it...

 

[winterbabies3]

Thanks, ladies! We have just been the type of friends to share everything with and show excitment when the time is right and feel sorrow when things are bad. When her response wasnt the best, it caught me off guard when usually questions would never end. I haven't talked to her much, so really not sure whats going on with her. It is/was a very sisterly friendship, but after getting the house last year with no excitment and then the baby news, i just have pulled away. It seems like when things are wrong is when i get the most response from her. Took a few days to really see this, but i think i get it now!

 

[WishnandHopn]

I had a friend like that. She was wonderfully supportive and the first person I would call when my life was falling apart (breakups, accidents, injuries), but when good things started happening to me (bought a house, new boyfriend, got engaged) she became so distant. She was one of my bridesmaids two years ago, and I’m sad to say we’ve drifted apart and are not really friends anymore. Actually, I’m not sad because I am now recognizing it was a toxic relationship. It may be harder to be happy for someone else if you aren’t happy about your own life, but true friendship means you show up in good times and bad. At a certain point I decided not to waste my energy trying to maintain a friendship with someone who made no effort and didn’t seem to care or want to be friends with me anymore.

Your situation may be different, maybe she’s just a little preoccupied right now, and you guys just need to reconnect and have a good heart to heart.