FUN ex bashing thread..."what was I thinking?!"

[GdaneMom4now]

I have ex's that all of them I wondered wtf was going through my brain that makes me so thankful for dh....lets hear you!rs!

My top one was I had an ex that every single time he had the big O he said "oh no! Oh no! OH NO!" omg I wanted to cover his mouth every time

 

[Helena_]

when my ex and I were giving back each others stuff he said, "our fish died. it died becuse our love died"

it's still.a long running joke with my friends

btw that fish was my xmas gift from him.....with him over a year and all I get.is a fish...

 

[TexasRider]

Oh Lord I have 2 great ones:

#1 Ex-husband of 7 years... Total packrat never threw anything away, car parts, computer parts etc... Always working on "projects" that he was gonna sell and make $$ Never happened... Physically and Verbally abusive, told me I was never gonna find anyone better than him etc Just a douchebag all the way around.

#2 Ex-boyfriend of 6 months: Way older than me, no sex drive, made me feel like I was sexually unattractive, played Warhammer constantly (kinda like World of Warcraft but WAY suckier) never picked up after himself.. After we broke up he cried and begged me several different times to come back.

Best thing ever was he called me one day about a month after we broke up convinced he was having a heart attack after working out and no one else was around to take him to the ER. So I feel bad and don't want him to die, so I take him. Turns out he was hyperventilating and the Dr gave him a paper bag!!! I was laughing so hard I was crying!!!

Now I am with my OH for 2 years and life is perfect. We get along together so great and I love him so much

 

[zozarini]

what was I thinking one Valentines day with my ex...

Went out and bought in beers and wine, ordered steaks from the butcher shop, sexy undies on underneath clothes, gift and card at the waiting to give after his lovely meal.. oh homebaked a cheesecake for desert...

He came in ate, didnt drink the beer as was "driving" so not staying.. and left as was tired... yes left.. no card, no mention of anything that I had done!! Least i didnt give him the good old lovin!!

Needless to say we broke up as he was a selfish tight arsed suck!! (stinking rish too but never spent a penny)

Now my great big boy i am with treats me like a princess.. I go home from work and he will have ran me a bath with candles and he writes me romatic poems on occasions too. So sweet xx

 

[gypsy1981]

I wouldn't even know where to start with my ex's... I think I have single handedly managed to pick the biggest pile of idiots throughout my life that you could ever wish to find

The weirdest one though has to be a guy that I was seeing for a few weeks when I was about 18. I was never too sure about him and decided to end things after I went out with my friends for a night out drinking one night and got home to 17 missed calls from him on my mobile phone (which I hadn't taken out). It was all a little too over-bearing for me so I called it a day. Fast forward 5 years and I'm reading an article in 'That's Life' magazine about a guy who had tried to murder his girlfriend because he thought she was cheating on him then went on to try and hang himself in the bathroom. She regained consciousness just in time to cut him down... I looked at the photograph and it was him!

All I can say is thank God for my instincts telling me to end it when they did! I'm 29 now and have been with my husband almost 2 years and he is the best thing that ever happened to me x

 

[SHump76]

Oh my! My ex-husband was a real winner! He drank about 2 30-packs of Red Dog a week and was obsessed with WWF (wrestling, not the World Wildlife Federation!). We got into fist fights. We lived with his mom the entire time we were married. He once cheated on me with a 14 year old. I moved out and he dated her for 6 months! He was 21 or 22 years old at the time. From what I hear, he is now married to an exotic dancer from Thailand. Half a dozen of her relatives moved over to the US and are living in the 2 bedroom apartment he rents. Better her than me! A mutual friend of ours was posting pictures from high school on facebook the other day, and I don't know what I was thinking. He was never even that good looking!!

My current DH is sweet and wonderful and took so many 7 hour flights (he's afraid of flying) to be with me. He got a greencard and moved over to the US for three years before we decided we'd rather do it the other way around. Now I've emmigrated to the UK and I really couldn't be happier.

 

[Jen_xx]

Everything about my ex makes me happy for DH. Lol.

 

[SHump76]

Gypsy, that's scary!!! I'm glad you got away from him when you did!

 

[Kerjack]

Good ol' ex boyfriends, gotta love em haha.

I've only ever been with 6 guys and 5 of them were tools.
Tyler. Dated for a couple months - was a weirdo, and a total perv. I took him back after I broke up with him cause he made me feel guilty for ending it. I ended it again a week late. Plus he wouldn't meet my parents, it scared him or something.

Rob. Dated a week - Good ol highschool relationship, he didn't talk to me haha. Broke up with me over msn to my sister. Told her to tell me haha.

Brett. Dated 9 months - Cheated on me numerous times, mostly with a girl who just moved to town and was trying to be my friend. But now he's with a girl he didn't want to be with and has a daughter with her haha. But he is a shittier boyfriend to her, while they were dating he said he could give her only 1 day of the month on the weekend to hang out etc. I'm still friends with him but even better friends with his older brother who used to pick on us.

Dave. Dated 2 months - Actually wasn't a terrible guy, just dumped me for a younger girl. Also would fall asleep when I was at his house, at like 2 in the afternoon. Plus his dad liked me way more than he did I think lol.

Cody. Dated 22 months - Cheated on me with my good friend and some other broads. Was a selfish piece of shit and strung me along. Also wasn't even going to tell me he was breaking up with me, his plan was to just ignore me till I realised he didn't want to date me. Then he went and banged a broad I played hockey with the night he dumped me. Then would string me along while he had other girls on the side. Even took me to visit all his family hours away to say he wanted to get back together. Then ignored me when we got back. He is a douche bag and wish I never dated him.

And now I'm with my current OH, and have been for almost 3 years. I couldn't be happier.

 

[GdaneMom4now]

Oh my ladies...I'm sorry you went through what you did but I was meaning for this to be funny stuff

 

[SHump76]

I forgot to add that my ex's wife's uncle (who lives with them) likes to go dumpster diving.
Does that make it any funnier? LOL

 

[gypsy1981]

I did find mine funny - not that he tried to kill his girlfriend obviously, just the fact that he was such a weirdo and I was rather amused to find someone I had dated in a magazine

Another guy who I dated for 18 months called me up after I dumped him (he cheated on me so nobody is allowed to feel sorry for him ) and pretended to be his dad on the phone telling me that he had been in a car crash and was asking for me. I said to him "u do realise I recognise your voice right?".... Then he panicked and hung up on me!

 

[TexasRider]

I thought the hyperventilating instead of a heart attack loser ex boyfriend was pretty funny myself I was like seriously dude??? You are my EX.. you don't even make my list of people I call when I need help.. And I was at the top of yours??? WTF!!

 

[gypsy1981]

I thought the hyperventilating instead of a heart attack loser ex boyfriend was pretty funny myself I was like seriously dude??? You are my EX.. you don't even make my list of people I call when I need help.. And I was at the top of yours??? WTF!!

I agree - I think I would have laughed in his face

 

[GdaneMom4now]

Lol I'm not saying all of then weren't funny! One of mine told me he had stomach cancer. Who questions someone that says they have cancer? Well when out parents met my mom ended up knowing his dad from before and asked him..he had no idea what he was talking about!

 

[Mrs_Nesbit]

My ex is so much of a nutter it's not even funny. His repertoire includes stalking, breaking in and flooding the house, winding the kids up on purpose to make my life difficult and having them steal stuff for him, scrawling peado on my fiancees shop window, even got caught by a friend on the internet trying to find ways to gas me in my sleep..Ack the list goes on...
He's currently got himself signed up to some help group consisting of people in real need -care in the community young adults -and is currently filling their heads with bullshit about me. He's a complete wacko and a dangerous one to boot - I don't believe he wants help, it's just another means to manipulate people into helping him in his quest to make our lives hell.
I won't let him near the boys...No way.

 

[SweetPickles]

when my ex and I were giving back each others stuff he said, "our fish died. it died becuse our love died"

it's still.a long running joke with my friends

btw that fish was my xmas gift from him.....with him over a year and all I get.is a fish...

 

[GdaneMom4now]

when my ex and I were giving back each others stuff he said, "our fish died. it died becuse our love died"

it's still.a long running joke with my friends

btw that fish was my xmas gift from him.....with him over a year and all I get.is a fish...

Thats hilarious. Reminds me of how to lose a guy in ten days and their love fern

 

[SweetPickles]

Oh, man, I forgot about the love fern!

 

[TexasRider]

I thought the hyperventilating instead of a heart attack loser ex boyfriend was pretty funny myself I was like seriously dude??? You are my EX.. you don't even make my list of people I call when I need help.. And I was at the top of yours??? WTF!!

I agree - I think I would have laughed in his face

I Did laugh in his face as soon as the Dr walked out the door