Funniest Toddler Stories!

[Cee108]

I was away for a moment and saw my 18mth old had climbed onto the chair and was pressing random keys on my laptop- I said 'Hands off the computer, please' ... He looked at me for all of 3 seconds, then bent down and started licking the keys instead :facepalm:

I REALLY need to work on my phrasing - I leave too many loopholes, dammit!

 

[emzilouu]

I took Bradley with me to the toilet the other day as I have been constipated so much this pregnancy and he was happily playing putting the shower gel and shampoo bottles into the bath while I did my business, he turned to me just as I was finishing up. I stood up and flushed the loo for him to come running over, look into the loo and wave while saying 'bye bye poo poo' :facepalm: so so funny so glad no one else was there!

 

[Bevziibubble]

When Holly was watching Balamory on TV, there was a lady jumping on a trampoline and Holly started to bounce herself! She can't jump properly yet as she can't take off from the floor. I said 'Holly, take off!' and she tried to take her top off!

 

[Bevziibubble]

My brother is getting married tomorrow
I asked Holly who was getting married tomorrow and she pointed to herself!

Looks like I've got two weddings to attend tomorrow

 

[lhancock90]

"Evelyn wheres your juice cup" BANG juice cup hits me on the head. "Theres Emmlyns juice cup Mummy"

 

[Natsku]

I have a cruel child. I was cutting up some blood sausage for her dinner and the smell of it made me vomit (I R hungover Natsku) and after that Maria kept telling me to taste the sausage - guess she wanted me to vomit even more!

 

[Bevziibubble]

We went to a toddler group before and every time a child got told off by their parent, Holly would walk past wagging her finger! It was so embarrassing!!

 

[Sarah lo]

I was at a friend's party once and she had set up a play-doh table for the kids in the play room. Unfortunately we should perhaps have kept a better eye on them because next thing we knew they were using the play-doh tools to cut up somebody's poo.

To this day we're not sure whose poo it was

 

[Boomerslady]

I just remembered this one. A month or so ago Ben walked up the path and stepped onto the pavement, I was right behind him but out of nowhere a teen raved park on his bike. Ben shouted 'bloody cyclists' at him. When I asked where he heard that he said 'daddy says bloody cyclist in car' I had to explain daddy was naughty and he shouldn't repeat it!!

Oh and the lady next door is offically 'wonder woman' her OH picked up on it and now he keeps saying 'wonder woman go and do the dinner, I expect it ready in 5 seconds' and things like that. I think she's getting annoyed now!! Maybe now the bikini is away for the summer Ben might stop!!

 

[Beadle]

Well it's not a story about a LO of mine, but of my little sister who just turned 3 a couple weeks ago. This spring when I was still living with my parents I would watch my sister while my parents were at work, and one day she walked up to me while I was doing the dishes and she said "Asta sissy, asta" I had no idea what she was saying, both because she had her pacifier in her mouth and even when she took it out she has that "I'm learning to talk still, lisp" that makes some words hard to understand. After I had to ask her several times to repeat herself I finally gave up and said I didn't know what she was saying. She then sighed as if I was frustrating her or I was really stupid, rolled her eyes and said "Hasta, it means "up"! I want up sissy!" I then realized she was talking to me partially in Spanish, after telling the story to my mom when she got home she informed me that on Dora last night she learned that word. She still randomly throws in Spanish words when she talks to us and when we don't understand a word we have to run through our limited knowledge on Spanish to figure out if it's a foreign word or if it's just something she has troubles pronouncing.

~~~~
And another from my sister during our family birthday party for her, she walked up to me and patted me on my belly saying that I had a baby in there, and mommy said that the baby would be coming soon. I laughed and told her the baby wouldn't be here for a little while yet and once again she sighed like I was stupid, rolled her eyes, held her hand up like someone training a puppy to sit and said very slowly, "Sooon sissy, soon." as if I didn't understand what the word soon meant lol
~Not even an hour after this last incident my sister accidentally knocked over a cast iron bell mount of my grandma's and broke off one of the pieces you use to attach it to a wall and she started crying really hard because she "broke grandma's toy". After a few minute we couldn't get her to stop so my aunt asked her if opening her presents would cheer her up, which of course immediately quieted her and made her nod her head. She then opened her presents and afterward looked at us and said "If I get cake I'll be really cheered up."


Wow sorry for the long post

 

[MissRhead]

One of LO's friends comes out with some outrageous things, one of which is about boobies. Well.. We where shopping recently and their was a rather large guy who had quite visible 'moobs' LO shouted 'HEY SEXY LADY NICE BOOBIES!' I literally wanted to run away!

 

[AngelofTroy]

One of LO's friends comes out with some outrageous things, one of which is about boobies. Well.. We where shopping recently and their was a rather large guy who had quite visible 'moobs' LO shouted 'HEY SEXY LADY NICE BOOBIES!' I literally wanted to run away!

 

[Bevziibubble]

Last night when my husband returned from the loo, Holly ran to the door to greet him excitedly as she always does! Terry asked her where was his toy, as she always hands him one of her toys when he comes through the door! I said to Holly 'give daddy something', thinking and would pick up a toy and hand it to him. Instead she took a heart-shaped dog biscuit out of her mouth and handed it to him! I've no idea where she got hold of it but she must have been sucking away at it! Then when my husband, after laughing, said 'no thank you' she took it back off him and tried to put it into her own mouth again! So funny!

 

[AngelofTroy]

At a restaurant last night the waiter gave Micah his very own (plastic) cup, with no spout or anything,, Micah looked completely thrilled! 5 minutes later the waiter came back to the table to see how we were getting on, Micah took a sip and handed him back the cup with a grin... now full of rice, and chewed up crayons!

 

[magicwhisper]

this tread is so funny

 

[Bevziibubble]

Holly is more and more trying to escape nappy changes lately. Yesterday after running around the room from me, she went and hid in her play tunnel. She knew I had no chance of crawling in there to get her and she stayed inside there for ages with a big cheeky grin on her face!!

https://i1146.photobucket.com/albums/o535/bevi86/4C401DB6-C862-4A51-B08D-32B39B36C0A6-1222-000000C94239A3F7_zpsdd638d09.jpg

 

[Bevziibubble]

When we were shopping yesterday, I needed to get some milk. Holly was walking beside me and I asked her where the milk was, not expecting a response. Then she pointed up to my boobs! Very true! I don't think Asda will be employing her anytime soon!

 

[Lucy529]

When we were shopping yesterday, I needed to get some milk. Holly was walking beside me and I asked her where the milk was, not expecting a response. Then she pointed up to my boobs! Very true! I don't think Asda will be employing her anytime soon!

You weren't very specific LOL cute can't wait to add some stories of my own

 

[dizzy65]

DH convinced Scottie that i stole to moon lol so the other night we were visiting with family and Uncle asks Scottie where the moon is and he says "mummy took it" with a sad face on lol

 

[louandivy]

When FOB had Ivy last month she woke up from a nap saying her throat hurt and she had a big rash on her back, so he panicked and took her to A&E. After like 5 hours in the waiting room they finally saw a dr who asked Dom to give a list of everything he was concerned about. Once he finished listing sore throat, rash etc little Ivy popped up and said 'AND I've got a wedgie' God I wish I had been there!

Yesterday I bumped into an old school friend I haven't seen in like 12 years at the exact moment that Ivy was playing a game that involved pretending her toy horse and pooed on my head and cleaning it off with a napkin...