Funny breast feeding stories?

[KellieJellie]

i thought it might be nice to have a bit of a laugh about something that some ladies find stressfull, abit of lighthearted fun!!!, so yeah
this is my little experience its not amazing but i couldnt help but giggle! - sometimes when feeding my LO if my boob is very full the flow goes a bit wild and if Alfie lets go he gets a hose like stream of milk to the face!! it can be a little embarasing as it really squirts out uncontrollably!!!! poor little man!

 

[Vixie]

ha ha i know i do that too it squirts all over her lol, i can squeze my boob and reach about 2 feet so was using my boob as a water'milk' pistol on my OH chasing him about ha ha x

 

[JZW]

I get the squirting as well, I'm always worried about her doing it when we are NIP but so far it hasn't happened... Bet I've just jinxed myself

 

[Tacey]

The squirting happened as I fed Alice, who was then 4 months old, as we were eating Christmas dinner. She unlatched suddenly, and it squirted into BIL's Christmas dinner! To my great shame, I never said anything!

More recently, Alice leant on my breast to get up, and managed to squirt me in the eye. She thought this was hilarious, and worked out how to do it deliberately. I was less enthusiastic...

The last one (or ones - it's happened twice!) is that I have answered the door before realising I hadn't readjusted my bra and top. Not sure whether it's a perk of the job or a hazard for the poor postman!

 

[BattyNora]

I managed to get the back of the seat in Costa with our squirt the other day, and also find will squirt when I or babs leans on me...eyeful of milk in the morning isn't the best way to start a day.

I was feeding Bee in our living room and was exposed in all my glory with my breast over the top of my vest and bra undone when I stood up, turned round to put her down so I could readjust and our postman was stood at the window as he was trying to get my attention to sign to a package. Poor bloke, never seen someone look so mortified! We did have a giggle about it the next day, bless him.

 

[Tacey]

I managed to get the back of the seat in Costa with our squirt the other day, and also find will squirt when I or babs leans on me...eyeful of milk in the morning isn't the best way to start a day.

I was feeding Bee in our living room and was exposed in all my glory with my breast over the top of my vest and bra undone when I stood up, turned round to put her down so I could readjust and our postman was stood at the window as he was trying to get my attention to sign to a package. Poor bloke, never seen someone look so mortified! We did have a giggle about it the next day, bless him.

Glad it's not just me giving an eyeful to the postman!

 

[Silverwing]

I quite often accidentally squirt holly in the eye!
Also, the first time she slept for 4 hours straight, I got up to change her nappy and thought she was weeing on my hand, only to look down and see that my booby was creating a really impressive fountain!

 

[mumatmadhouse]

LOL, this made me laugh, thanks ladies!

I got my first experience of milk in the eye this morning too!

I really like the idea of the water-milk pistol, LOL!

 

[Ruth 1980]

Ha ha! Love these stories girls! Recently at mum&baby group one of the mums was bf'ing and wasn't looking as her LO suddenly broke-off & a milk jet hit the face of the mum beside her! Was so funny!

 

[Ashley8806]

I was bf LO in the middle of the night and when she finished she looked so precious so I took a picture of her sleeping, and uploaded it on facebook.

The next morning I looked closer, and realized my boob and nipple were in the picture

 

[cooper2010]

That is awesome! I squirted my baby in the face on accident and since it was the first time I was just shocked! I had no idea this was a normal thing!

 

[Ashley2189]

my LO gets a face-full on a regular basis lol the best ones are the times when i'm preoccupied with my phone and don't realize she's unlatched until she starts squirming out of my arms and i find milk dripping down her face from the jet stream hitting her forehead

once i was bfing at get-together and a friend bent down to give LO a kiss (she didn't even realize i was bfing, just thought LO was snuggling) and LO unlatched to look up at her and she got a face full of milk!!

 

[lisaf]

these are great!
I have lots of pets, so cat hair etc is usually all over. I still remember one morning I got out of the shower and was grossed out because I had a white cat hair sticking off my boob... nope, it was a stream of milk just pouring out in a nice perfect, tiny stream

I've squirted my guy in the face plenty of times

He often smacks his lips on my breast though and makes a lot of noises which is quite embarrassing when he's under my nursing cover and I'm trying to be discrete.

 

[ashley2pink]

ha ha i know i do that too it squirts all over her lol, i can squeze my boob and reach about 2 feet so was using my boob as a water'milk' pistol on my OH chasing him about ha ha x

LOL, I did this to my husband yesterday. He was annoying me while I was using my manual pump so I told him I would spray milk on him. He sat down and I went up behind him and let it spray his head and back of his neck. He was freaked out, but couldnt stop laughing. I've also accidentally sprayed my daughter in the face many many times. I always have a burp cloth ready, but sometimes I'm too slow to catch the squirt. Today it shot over her head and onto some magazines on the floor
After my 1st was born I was shopping at walmart and as we were walking out I felt something cold on my chest. I looked down to see a huge milk leak on my shirt! My nursing pad had slipped up above my nipple. Who knows how many saw that!

 

[eandc123]

I manage to give lo a good squirting all the time. The first night home from hospital she didn't sleep a wink and she cried the whole night. As i was trying to comfort her i could feel my legs getting colder. turns out i had leaked through my breastpads, my bra, my night top and my pj bottoms. I was soaked in my own breastmilk
It happened ALOT in the first few weeks. I thanked my mams neighbour for a present with a massive damp patch on my top and i hadn't even realised :/

 

[jaytee146]

I was bf LO in the middle of the night and when she finished she looked so precious so I took a picture of her sleeping, and uploaded it on facebook.

The next morning I looked closer, and realized my boob and nipple were in the picture

 

[Leopard]

LO wasn't latching properly earlier so the nurse asked me if she would like formula. I nearly went off at her, but instead was like 'no, its only latching problems and breast is the best' and I expected Kezzy to kick up a stink but instead she latched the best she had since birth just to throw it in their face

 

[KellieJellie]

love these!! glad its not just me!!!!!very tempted 2 squirt the oh now!!

 

[LadyGecko]

my oh was woken up by being squirted in the face this morning as i had slept longer than usual lol

 

[feedindy]

When my LO gets super hungry and is nursing, I will say things to try to make her laugh. It's so cute to see her try not to smile and laugh because she is eating. Sometimes I will win and she will crack up and pull off and smile at me while the milk is just pouring out of her mouth... all over me and the boppy.
It's like a little game we play where she can try to concentrate on eating instead of laughing at mommy.