Funny Things you did while in Labour?

[RedRose]

Just had a flashback to when I was in labour...

Was in the pool screaming my head off (baby was back to back and we didn't know) wondering why my labour was going so very slowly. Nice and high off the G&A.

I could hear bongo drums coming from the next birthing room and for some reason it made me lose my temper so I started shouting 'F***ing excellent! Bongo drums! That's clearly where I'm going wrong, all I need is some F***ING BONGO DRUMS and it will all be fine. SHUT THE F*** UP WITH YOUR F***ING BONGO DRUMS!!!'

Midwives and hubby thought it was hilarious. I really really hope the poor woman next door couldn't hear me.

 

[Miss_Bump]

Just had a flashback to when I was in labour...

Was in the pool screaming my head off (baby was back to back and we didn't know) wondering why my labour was going so very slowly. Nice and high off the G&A.

I could hear bongo drums coming from the next birthing room and for some reason it made me lose my temper so I started shouting 'F***ing excellent! Bongo drums! That's clearly where I'm going wrong, all I need is some F***ING BONGO DRUMS and it will all be fine. SHUT THE F*** UP WITH YOUR F***ING BONGO DRUMS!!!'

Midwives and hubby thought it was hilarious. I really really hope the poor woman next door couldn't hear me.

that made me laugh!

I kicked a doctor in the head and kept telling everyone to stop looking at my piles lol

 

[cherryglitter]

LOL at the piles things!!

I wouldn't let the new midwife who came on shift examine for about an hour lol!
"Can I examine you now?!" "NOOOOOOOOOO IT HURTS YOU'RE GUNNA HURT ME AGAIN!!"
Haha was awful. Im sure she got so pissed off with me.

"WHERE IS THE EPIDURAL MAN. HE'S NOT COMING, I KNOW YOU'RE LYING TO ME!"

I remember looking at OH eating tea and toast. "FU**ING TEA AND TOAST?!"
I was awful and I really wish I had kept control!

There were so many other things they weren't funny I think I was just mean ahaha!

Oh the midwife said she couldn't wait for a cup of tea when she got him and it was like 7:30am, I told her not to worry she only had half an hour until she got home so she can hang on until then!
The look on her face bless her!xx

 

[SarahMelissa]

I was sitting on the table about to get my spinal block for my emergency c-section when I told the doctor and midwife that I was just going to go home to bed now because I didn't want to do it anymore because it hurt too much

 

[MissRhead]

Lol these are funny! My OH smoked at the time and he came into the room after having a cig and I projectile vomited all over him because of the smell and probebly the drugs I was on lol, i kept swearing when I was pushing then saying sorry I don't swear usually after lol. O and apparently My OH was sitting next to me whilst I was on the bed he said I turned to him like something out of the exersist and shouted "get it outt!! I hate him he's hurting me" x

 

[Lena]

When the midwife said 'i can see the head', i said 'quickkkkk get the vacuum and just suck him out'

Also when she said 'you need to push harder', i said 'can't you just lube me up, im sure then he'll slide right out'.

 

[dovehouse]

i had my ipod and speakers on at the very end stage, had the midwife, the student midwife and some other people, prob midwives(cant quite remember) and my husband, all in a tiny room singing loudly to robbie williams....i was the only o ne who didnt, i seem to be very aware that it was loud and kept telling them to urn it down a bit!! i remember i kept saying i dont like that tracck and they kept moving it to the next!!!

 

[RJsMum]

The second midwife who replaced the first one I had (as her shift ended) wasn't very nice at first. I said I had the urge to push but was only 9cm, so she thought getting me out of bed and walking to the toilet would help things. As soon as I stood up, the pain increased like mad and I could feel myself opening my mouth to bite her on the shoulder. She picked up on it and suddenly I hear her say, "Don't you dare!"

 

[iceylou]

not very funny but did use WAY too much lanuage at everyone. mw's kept telling me to push so i told them " u Fing try this, look at ye, young and slim, Fing this and that". my hubby was in floods at this stage and said nice to see my polite wife is still alert. doc came in and i apologised to her for not waxing my legs!!

in surgery after i had a great conversation with the anesthist (sp?) over the best vodka!! i thought i had dreamt this until he came to see me the following day with a bottle of russian vodka

 

[sarahchops86]

i just refused to speak to anyoneI(or make any noise) til they got me an epidural, i asked for one at 9am and finally got it at 3.30pm when i was 8cm! the only thing i would say was to ask for an epidural. there was a cleaning lady who came in to change the bins at one point and i even asked her for one lol!

 

[RinnaRoo]

'After I pushed him out, I felt this huge rush or normalcy rush over me. I was laying there, with my hoo haa out in the open, bleeding like crazy, with my new baby busy being cleaned up, and I say out loud; "Dang, Im hungry!" and then I start to do my hair... IDK what was going on, but it felt sooo good to finally have him out of my body and in the room!

 

[beatnick]

i said

"i think im going to die"

then

"i want to die"


i also hallucinated on the gas and air- "my face is numb...im going to throw up..."

he was back to back too and i was in agony!

 

[beatnick]

true about the normality thing. one minute im screaming to die then im smiling for photos.

i coulnt thank the ventouse man enough for getting him outta me.

 

[iceylou]

i was starving too, wanted mcdonalds and some alcohol!!!

 

[beatnick]

nicest cup of tea ive ever drunk.

it was nasty and brown- stewed - but it was AMAZING

 

[twinklestar]

The second midwife who replaced the first one I had (as her shift ended) wasn't very nice at first. I said I had the urge to push but was only 9cm, so she thought getting me out of bed and walking to the toilet would help things. As soon as I stood up, the pain increased like mad and I could feel myself opening my mouth to bite her on the shoulder. She picked up on it and suddenly I hear her say, "Don't you dare!"

that made me laugh so much i cried!!

 

[RJsMum]

The second midwife who replaced the first one I had (as her shift ended) wasn't very nice at first. I said I had the urge to push but was only 9cm, so she thought getting me out of bed and walking to the toilet would help things. As soon as I stood up, the pain increased like mad and I could feel myself opening my mouth to bite her on the shoulder. She picked up on it and suddenly I hear her say, "Don't you dare!"

that made me laugh so much i cried!!

Glad I could provide someone with a giggle.

I was so embarassed when my husband reminded me the next day that it really DID happen and wasn't just a dream.

I probably would have bitten her honestly if she hadn't warned me not to.

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

At one point in the pool the MW was telling me I need to push really hard or DD's head would suck back in".. I proceeded to push half heartedly and then stopped and said to her "I'm really sorry I can't push..I don't want to poo".

Whilst near the end OH was encouraging me to push as hard as I can and to squeeze his hands if I needed to because he wouldn't mind.. A contraction came so with all my might I pushed to which he said "Well done you're doing really well. Nearly there".. So disappointed was I that the push hadn't equalled a baby I look at him and my only reply was "you owe me a macdonalds for this"

 

[Miss Wright]

Apparently I was talking about geography and maps! The midwife said 'bless her she's tired' I had been awake for two days I suppose...

 

[rosie272]

Haha - these are making me giggle Apparantly I tried to get off the bed I was on and told the midwife 'Right Anne, let's go for a teabreak now!!' and kept going on about this cup of tea! I can't remember much after the pethidine.... Then I asked to see the placenta and was tring to poke it! Yuk!!