Gender disapointment

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Missy86, Dec 22, 2009.

  1. Missy86

    Missy86 Family complete

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    Hiya all

    Hope everyone is ready for xmas :happydance:

    I was just wondering how people get over gender disapointment
     
  2. gemini xo

    gemini xo Well-Known Member

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    Look on the brighter side, you have a healthy baby! I know we all get our hopes up about having a boy or girl, I wanted a girl & I'm having a boy you can't have but feel disappointed but then I thought 'it's my baby & he's healthy'.. what more can you ask for? :winkwink:
     
  3. Kerrie-x

    Kerrie-x Well-Known Member

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    I'd never be disappointed no matter the gender, at the end of the day... we're lucky we can have children, so many people would love to be in our position
     
  4. Missy86

    Missy86 Family complete

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    Thats a great point

    I just want to get my head round everything before my scan
     
  5. Lexi mummy

    Lexi mummy Well-Known Member

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    i cried when i found out my little lexi was a girl as i wanted a boy, now she is gone i feel awful :cry:

    just remember as the other ladies have said all that matters is that the baby is healthy and comes home safe and sound. thats all thats important gender means nothing really xx
     
  6. RainbowDrop_x

    RainbowDrop_x Well-Known Member

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    I was terrified before I found out I was having a girl that if the baby I was having wasn't a boy I wouldn't be able to love it.

    But you know what as soon as the sonographer said "looks like a little girl to us" I couldn't even remember what it felt like wanting a boy.. At the end of the day this baby is mine and she's healthy & I'm more in love with her than I have been with anything else and I haven't even met her yet!!!!

    xxxx
     
  7. belladonna

    belladonna Well-Known Member

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    I would love to have a girl and have always dreamed of having a daughter but I know that I will probably have a boy. I have decided not to find out the sex as I know if they say its a boy I will be disapointed whereas if I wait until the baby is here to find out I won't have time to feel anything but thrilled to see my baby.

    I know I sound awful saying this but everyone (well oh & mil) keep going on and on about finding out the sex and its really important to me to not know.
     
  8. jess_smurf

    jess_smurf Angel Kristian & Olivia

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    i cired when i found out when kristian was a boy in the light of thing as long as this baby gets here i wont be upset i would prefer a boy as want my baby boy but if its a girl i wouldnt ever feel dissappointed and sometimes feel like screaming when people said we hoped for the other sex and upset about but i dont its not worth the hassle but finding it hard to bite my tongue atm x
     
  9. lunarsea

    lunarsea Mother & Expecting No. 2!

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    Well, I wanted a girl, to be honest, and I'm having a boy,
    and it kind of bugs me when I hear about others having girls,
    but at the end of the day, I just think,
    all that matters is that he is healthy, and I will love him either way.
     
  10. KamKol

    KamKol Mother of one

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    The disappointment only lasted a few hours. After I got my head round to the fact that I'm having a boy, I just started picturing him in my arms etc, and all the disappointment just went away. I try to look on the bright side - healthy baby, healthy pregnancy and ultimately a happy family :thumbup:
     
  11. chocolate

    chocolate Well-Known Member

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    I was thinking about this in the early weeks - as I have ds and would love a girl too.


    The thing that has really helped me and put it into perspective is reading stories in the loss section about people that have had miscarriages, still births or lost a child after birth, to sids etc. I have sat there and poured my heart out when reading some of those posts and it is the only thing that time and time again makes me just wish for a healthy child.
    If the gender disapointment creeps up on me, then I know I have to go and re-visit a few very sad stories and it gives me a kick up the bum:-(
     
  12. Missy86

    Missy86 Family complete

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    Thank you so much hun, i will do that when i need a kick up the arse too :hugs:
     
  13. Mrs A

    Mrs A Mumma & TTC #2

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    My husband and i wanted a girl, when we found out we were having a boy, there was no looking back and were now really excited to be having a son.
    The way i see it, as long as hes mine and hes healthy all is good, at the end of the day i have Pixie81 down the road whos having a girl, and also have 2 neices, whom mean the world to me.
    Having read some of your responses it really makes no difference.
     
  14. chocolate

    chocolate Well-Known Member

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    It really does help put things into perspective - but be warned to take a box of tissues too, it has been the only thing that has helped me reason it out
     
  15. Jadeyydoe

    Jadeyydoe Guest

    I really wanted a boy and my bubs is a girl tbh I think I was dissapointed throughtout the scan she told me to walk around as the baby wasn't moving, I had some caffine, when I got back woman started pressing hard and bugging about and she woke up turnt over to face the screen did a little yawn and snuggled up in there to go back to sleep.
    Straight away I was over it after that, she was too cute to care!
    David on the other hand has taken all day and hes started to get over it hes just not liking how protective hes going to be with a girl lol
     
  16. MrsGlitz

    MrsGlitz Proud Mummy of 1

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    I was disappointed to find out I am having a boy.

    I desperately wanted a little girl which is why DH didn't want to find out. But I am glad we did. I know it sounds cliched but I really do feel so much closer to my baby now. And the disappointment only lasted a minute or two with me.

    I am lucky. I know I can get pregnant easily. I got my first BFP in our first month then after my mc I conceived again first time. I have plenty of time to have a little girl (hopefully) and being the eldest of 4 myself I grew up wanting a big brother so for me
    it's all worked out anyway!
     
  17. hannahR

    hannahR Hollie aged three ttc no2

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    This for me is one of the reasons why i decided with my daughter and have made the same the decesion this time not to find out. I dont think you could possibly feel dissapointed in what sex the baby is when it is there on you. I wouldnt want to feel dissapointed so for me i would rather not know untill i can see for myself. xx
     
  18. Mervs Mum

    Mervs Mum Doula & Mum of 3!

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    By remembering just how incredibly lucky they are to even be in the position to be disappointed. By remembering you blessed to be a part of the miracle of life - a gift that not everyone is lucky enough to be given. By remembering all the women before you and after you who's disappointment will be that they dont even have the blessing of their baby in their arms, let alone for it to be their preferred gender.

    It's about perspective. There's nothing wrong with having a preference but it's not something to try to 'get over'. :flower:
     
  19. Aidan's Mummy

    Aidan's Mummy Mummy to Aidan and Oliver

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    What Mervs mum said

    Yeah you may be a little disappointed over the sex

    But then look at them women that would kill for any sex who try year after year to concieve hoping next time is their time

    Dissapoinment is a natural feeling its human but its gettong over that dissapoinment and realsing that all that matters is a healthy baby not what sex they are

    Hope you all enjoy your babies :hugs:
    xx
     
  20. K1mberley

    K1mberley My First Baba

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    i have my gender scan on the 29th and im feeling sort of the same. my sister had my nephew in aug and she was desp for a girl, and seemed really dissapointed after she found out he was a boy but now after he is here she said shes glad she had a boy and not a girl because she couldnt imagine her life without him
     

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