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Gender disapointment...

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ahh bless try not to worry, i always though out LO was going to be a boy and internet shopped on loads of sites for little funky boys stuff and when we had a scan i could swear i saw something butt now we have a girl and would not have it any other way.

I think when the day comes and you see your little one it will all be ok, maybe try looking at it different as he might be into dolls and dancing and hate cars trucks and trains,
 
Maybe have a look at things to get for boys, baby boy pics even ask here what people are like with boys and get you excited?I think you will get excited in time though maybe just the initial shock and hormones can make you hang on to things to.
 
*hugs*
when i was pregnant with bella, i found out at my 20 week scan because i was worried i'd feel a bit sad if i was having a boy. not because of having a boy, but because i wanted a girl (i think this will make sense to anyone who has worried about / suffered gender disappointment).
i can't imagine what emotions are going through you, having found out you're going to have a wee boy because bella obviously was a girl. i know though, that i would have had a few tears in secret if she'd been a boy, & i didn't want to be feeling that way at birth.
focus on the fact now that you still have the rest of your pregnancy to get excited about meeting your son, do what others have suggested & think about all the positives to having a little boy :)
xx
 
When I first found out I was a bit disappointed as I had talked about having a boy with OH for ages etc so I had my heart set on that.
But now I'm just happy I have a healthy baby and I wouldn't change anything for the world.
Just remember, once you see LO, you will fall in love with him.
Also, if you don't like all the blue things you could always get unisex stuff?
 
I think the "be thankful" posts arent very helpful, and definitely dont try and force yourself to be happy. accepting your feelings is the first step to getting over them! this is your first pregnancy? well your second one may very well be a girl! And also, i think its extremely likely that you will fall in love with your little boy when he is born and you get to hold him :D. And btw, i have a girl, but it she into anything girly? no! she plays with trucks and mud and loves blue, and it really doesnt matter as long as she's happy! i hope you come to terms with having a little boy because children are always a blessing :D
 
I think she is very brave saying this out to all as a lot of woman have felt this. As Sofiasmommy said there getting the feelings out is the best way to get past them to the next step. Update this thread with how you feel as you go along I have a feeling things will get better from here on in.
 
I think she is very brave saying this out to all as a lot of woman have felt this. As Sofiasmommy said there getting the feelings out is the best way to get past them to the next step. Update this thread with how you feel as you go along I have a feeling things will get better from here on in.



Pretty good idea! :thumbup:
 
My Mum wanted a girlie girl, but she got me as her only daughter. I was a tomboy who liked to play cars and rugby with my brother. I used to love climbing trees and building stuff. My favourite colour is blue and I don't wear makeup. I'm having a girl now and I don't know what I'm going to do if shes a girlie girl, because I have no idea about that sort of stuff!!

It's good that you have admitted to your disappointment, it's all part of dealing with it. I struggle to understand because I can't relate but to you what you are feeling is very real. Your feelings for a girl may still continue when you baby is born but you will also fall completely and utterly in love with your beautiful baby boy. Plus as someone else said, your next baby may be a girl, and then she will have a big brother to look after her!
 
Don't worry hun, it's totally normal to feel this way! At the end of the day though, people seem to have a preference towards little girls for all the superficial reasons.. cute outfits, dressing up, pink things etc. etc. At the end of the day there's only so many years when you can indulge in all that sort of stuff before they're big and too old. And not all little girls are pink-loving princesses either, some prefer to play with trucks! I'm having a little boy and find all the baby-boy stuff is just as cute- I've bought tons of gorgeous outfits for him and done up his nursery perfectly, you can have just as much fun with having a boy as having a girl- you just miss out on having everything pink and purple.

Once your little boy is born all these feelings will just instantly disappear and become a distant memory- I definitely think hormones play a massive role in the feelings we have during pregnancy. And don't feel guilty either, I think gender disappointment effects more women than those who admit to it. :flower:xx
 
When I first found out I was a bit disappointed as I had talked about having a boy with OH for ages etc so I had my heart set on that.
But now I'm just happy I have a healthy baby and I wouldn't change anything for the world.
Just remember, once you see LO, you will fall in love with him.
Also, if you don't like all the blue things you could always get unisex stuff?

Majority of everything we have so far is neutural/unisex :)

I've banned anything thomas the tank engine and everyone seems pretty supportive hehe
 
I think the "be thankful" posts arent very helpful, and definitely dont try and force yourself to be happy. accepting your feelings is the first step to getting over them! this is your first pregnancy? well your second one may very well be a girl! And also, i think its extremely likely that you will fall in love with your little boy when he is born and you get to hold him :D. And btw, i have a girl, but it she into anything girly? no! she plays with trucks and mud and loves blue, and it really doesnt matter as long as she's happy! i hope you come to terms with having a little boy because children are always a blessing :D

That's a very good point, I didnt think of it.. accepting it first to get over it. Thank you.!

Yeh it's my first.

Haha really? n'awww bless her!

Thank you :) xx
 
I think she is very brave saying this out to all as a lot of woman have felt this. As Sofiasmommy said there getting the feelings out is the best way to get past them to the next step. Update this thread with how you feel as you go along I have a feeling things will get better from here on in.

I will do, thank you for the support girls x
 
When I first found out I was a bit disappointed as I had talked about having a boy with OH for ages etc so I had my heart set on that.
But now I'm just happy I have a healthy baby and I wouldn't change anything for the world.
Just remember, once you see LO, you will fall in love with him.
Also, if you don't like all the blue things you could always get unisex stuff?

Majority of everything we have so far is neutural/unisex :)

I've banned anything thomas the tank engine and everyone seems pretty supportive hehe

Haha I'm gonna ban Thomas too I hate it! xx
 
My Mum wanted a girlie girl, but she got me as her only daughter. I was a tomboy who liked to play cars and rugby with my brother. I used to love climbing trees and building stuff. My favourite colour is blue and I don't wear makeup. I'm having a girl now and I don't know what I'm going to do if shes a girlie girl, because I have no idea about that sort of stuff!!

It's good that you have admitted to your disappointment, it's all part of dealing with it. I struggle to understand because I can't relate but to you what you are feeling is very real. Your feelings for a girl may still continue when you baby is born but you will also fall completely and utterly in love with your beautiful baby boy. Plus as someone else said, your next baby may be a girl, and then she will have a big brother to look after her!

Aww really? Reassuring to know not everyone is a steriotype, just cos I am doesn't mean every girl is girlie/boy is boystrous!

x
 
Don't worry hun, it's totally normal to feel this way! At the end of the day though, people seem to have a preference towards little girls for all the superficial reasons.. cute outfits, dressing up, pink things etc. etc. At the end of the day there's only so many years when you can indulge in all that sort of stuff before they're big and too old. And not all little girls are pink-loving princesses either, some prefer to play with trucks! I'm having a little boy and find all the baby-boy stuff is just as cute- I've bought tons of gorgeous outfits for him and done up his nursery perfectly, you can have just as much fun with having a boy as having a girl- you just miss out on having everything pink and purple.

Once your little boy is born all these feelings will just instantly disappear and become a distant memory- I definitely think hormones play a massive role in the feelings we have during pregnancy. And don't feel guilty either, I think gender disappointment effects more women than those who admit to it. :flower:xx

Thank you so much for the support, I agree - I think it does too. My friend found out she was having a girl and was gutted as she wanted a boy.. but now wouldn't change her for the world so it IS reassuring.. just a pain I seem so far from the "end product" as i'm only 19+ weeks.

It IS nice to do up the nursery regardless of it being neurtral :) xxx
 
When I first found out I was a bit disappointed as I had talked about having a boy with OH for ages etc so I had my heart set on that.
But now I'm just happy I have a healthy baby and I wouldn't change anything for the world.
Just remember, once you see LO, you will fall in love with him.
Also, if you don't like all the blue things you could always get unisex stuff?

Majority of everything we have so far is neutural/unisex :)

I've banned anything thomas the tank engine and everyone seems pretty supportive hehe

Haha I'm gonna ban Thomas too I hate it! xx

haha! :) xxx
 
After two girls, when I got pregnant with my son, it was a shock to my system and honestly took a bit to set in before I got excited. I wouldnt trade him for the world. He's amazing and such a sweetheart. Given I'm on child #4 everyone assumed I'd want 2 girls and 2 boys but honestly...I didnt want that at all. I wanted my son to be the only boy and he is.
 
I so wanted a boy!!! I had outfits picked out and names and was looking forward to playing tag football and watching him grow to be like his daddy...then the ob said "it's a girl" and DH was video taping the ultrasound so you hear me distinctly moan and groan and say "well this just sucks!"

That was a week ago and I'm still not completely excited about having a girl and I even have it in the back of my mind that we could be wrong and a little boy pops out...I doubt it but I still think it.

I've had a miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy and tried to conceive for a bit of time so all that think about people who can't have children I don't agree with cause all i have to do is think about myself this time last year having to take a shot to end my ectopic pregnancy. I know what that feels like and I'm not diminishing my feelings at all.

I am slowly warming up to having a girl. I'm extremely excited to be having a baby and that has not changed. And sometimes I slip and refer to the baby as him or he and i have to correct myself. And i still look at girl's clothes and not like any of them so i have no idea if and when that will change but knowing DH is happy to have a little girl to spoil makes it easier. And I know that even if it takes me a while I will be so in love with this little girl and the world won't be so bad with a mini-me.

Just think of how much you love your OH and think you're gonna raise a mini-him but better :)
 
I so wanted a boy!!! I had outfits picked out and names and was looking forward to playing tag football and watching him grow to be like his daddy...then the ob said "it's a girl" and DH was video taping the ultrasound so you hear me distinctly moan and groan and say "well this just sucks!"

That was a week ago and I'm still not completely excited about having a girl and I even have it in the back of my mind that we could be wrong and a little boy pops out...I doubt it but I still think it.

I've had a miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy and tried to conceive for a bit of time so all that think about people who can't have children I don't agree with cause all i have to do is think about myself this time last year having to take a shot to end my ectopic pregnancy. I know what that feels like and I'm not diminishing my feelings at all.

I am slowly warming up to having a girl. I'm extremely excited to be having a baby and that has not changed. And sometimes I slip and refer to the baby as him or he and i have to correct myself. And i still look at girl's clothes and not like any of them so i have no idea if and when that will change but knowing DH is happy to have a little girl to spoil makes it easier. And I know that even if it takes me a while I will be so in love with this little girl and the world won't be so bad with a mini-me.

Just think of how much you love your OH and think you're gonna raise a mini-him but better :)

I'm glad you can remotely understand what i'm saying then!

Congrats on having a healthy pregnancy after your last one.. like you say, a mini-me will be good hey <3

Yeah, a mini-him will be perfect I guess :) xxx
 
The in-gender.com forums are great for finding comfort about your gender disappointment. No one has the right to make you feel bad about it. I am currently expecting my third boy, very hard after losing my daughter last december at
22 weeks. I suffered GD but as time went on I have accepted it and am preparing for his arrival. Its hard at first but gets easier with passing days.
 
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