Gender Stereotypes

[MotherBeth]

This is just for fun.

Anyone else's toddler becoming a gender stereotype?

I tried so hard to be egalitarian, and offer her both "boy things" and "girl things." I tried not to push her in any particular direction.

But my toddler girl's favorite things are ....

Tucking her doll in for "goodnight" under a blanket, and pretending to feed her
Trying on hats and shoes
Chocolate
Playing with my make-up and putting it on my face

I asked my friend who has toddler boys whether they also do these things and he said, "No! Never!" And then his toddler boy proceeded to pick up a toy from the floor, pretend it was a "gun", point it at his dad and say, "bang bang". Something my girl has NEVER done!!

Do you think toddlers sometimes just naturally fit gender stereotypes or do you think we give them subliminal messages by mistake? Or do you think the incidents I describe are coincidence?

Anyone experienced this with their toddlers?

 

[joeyjo]

My little boy loves cars and balls so fairly stereotypical; but he also loves sweeping, hoovering, emptying the dishwasher & washing machine - all things he has copied.

He doesn't have dolls yet but loves teddies and likes to give them kisses and cuddles, hasn't tried feeding them but has pushed them in a push along walker & but them on bounce & spin zebra.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Hmm I'm not sure we've even bought Ruby many 'girly' toys to be honest! I don't know if a toy kitchen is girly, probably not, but she has one of those and likes it. She plays with trains, cars, building bricks, ride on toys, etc, most but does like more 'neutral' toys like peg board puzzles too. We have shown her dolls in shops etc and she has shown no interest.

Ruby is interested in my make up and clothes but I see that as just being interested in everything I do rather than her fitting a gender type.

I am not overly girly myself though, so that may well have something to do with it.

She did choose a 'pink one' when I asked which duvet cover she wanted, in the shop though!

 

[marley2580]

I think that some things do come naturally to kids, but I also think that it's easy to forget the influence of the outside world - tv, films, grandparents, friends etc etc all contribute. e.g. I have never, in my life, said that pink things are for girls and blue things for boys, yet Kaya often tells me that it's the case. She must have got that impression from tv and the pictures on the boxes of the toys. There's no escaping it, all you can do is try to balance it out.

 

[cleckner04]

Emma is all 'girl'. Loves dress up shoes. She is often digging out my shoes and wearing them around the house. She loves sitting with me when I do my makeup and 'helping' by smearing it all on my face for me. She loves when I put dresses on her. She will literally strut around and twirl with a huge grin on her face when she is in a pretty dress. Her favorite toy is her dolly. And she has a few babies that she likes to carry around too. (all cabbage patch dolls) She has toy cars and legos and building blocks and all kinds of 'boy' toys. But she always goes for the girly stuff first.

 

[Tacey]

I've been really conscious of not pushing Alice to one side or the other, but she loves dolls and spends lots of her play time pretending to breastfeed them and carrying them in a mini sling. Having said that she also loves cars - real ones or toy ones, and she'll spend ages kicking footballs around so she's not completely fitting the stereotype! I think the best thing as parents is to offer them anything without prejudice, and see what they naturally enjoy.

 

[fantastica]

We've definitely tried not to go along with the gender specific things...but Jacob is actually so masculine - mainly in his looks! He loves cars...and his ride on thing he likes to lie on his back and check out the wheels and underneath etc. Anything 'boyish' he'll do. He will clean up...loves the mop and hoover, but imo men have to clean too! I did also catch him putting my blusher on the other day too haha! x

 

[Lu28]

Aisling is quite gender neutral I'd say. She has a kitchen which she loves but I've seen lots of boys with them too. She has a couple of dolls which she can take or leave. Her favourite things are her cars, wooden food, trains, shark teddy and soft football. I'm not pushing her either way, she can play with whatever makes her happy

That said, she has gender stereotyped DH and me - DH is more for fun and I'm more for comfort without either of us putting ourselves in that role!

 

[Weeplin]

I am all for letting the sticks fall where they may when it comes to my children developing there personality. I buy them things that I think they will like and don't really focus on if it's too girly or boyish.

I would say my son is quite boyish though, he loves cars and watching my DP play computer games. He likes to run and throw himself around and like taking his teddies and making them "fight". None of this was encouraged, it's just him.

 

[Lucy_lu_84]

My toddler loves to strut around with one of my handbag round his neck. Lmao so he don't fit.
His favourite toy is probably his cars, but its a ramp and fun he cuddles his teddys and tried to offer a dummy to it.

I would say he was pretty neutral. Loves rough and tumble bit loves quiet cuddles.

 

[Szaffi]

Oh, definitely!

I banned all the pinky-girly things from Bianka's life, but she has started to put on everything from the laundry basket. She's obsessed with my jewels. She bats her eyes at her Daddy to get something.

On the other hand, she does play with trucks and blocks, she loves flipping her books, pushing buttons (for me that's gender neutral) and is not too interested in her dollies and soft toys.

 

[andbabymakes3]

Holly is a bit of both atm. I haven't tried to push her either way, I'd rather she steered herself as much as possible.

She quite likes her dolly but will cuddle her for a minute then throws her on the floor. She loves her toy helicopter and her cars, loves her blackboard and chalks and her books.

She's quite rough and tumble and loves to play bundle or horsey, but is also very affectionate with me and her daddy, gives lots of cuddles, strokes your face and gives you kisses (which she also does with the cat!).

She has three main little friends who she sees outside of nursery - two boys and a girl. The girl is very girly and fits in with the stereotype, and one of the boys is the stereotypical boy (he's a little bruiser and rugby tackles everyone) but her other friend William is like Holly - has characteristics of both genders.


By all accounts I was quite similar when I was little - I loved trying mums shoes on and making 'perfume' but I also had a collection of worms and beetles which I kept in a bucket in the garden and spent most of my childhood up a tree.

 

[nikkip75]

My 15 and 5 years old daughters very rarely played with dolls. They both had them along with prams, dressy up stuff, make up etc but they were just never interested. My 5 year old favourite toys where her dinosaurs and animals. She had a beautiful dolls house that she never played with and would just use it to stand on to reach high up things! Even now she never plays with babydolls. She will play with figures more.

But my 18 month old is very girly! She loves mothering her dolls, playin tea parties, wearing jewellery and looking at herself in the mirror when I've done her hair to check it's ok! And if I dont say she looks beautiful she will pat her hair and say Awwww until I do!! Out of 3 girls I finally have a girly one!

 

[pictureperfect]

Chloe is definately a girly girl when it comes to her dolls - she can sit for hours covering them over with muslins and patting them on the back, she is also obsessed with my make up case, and if she is in the room when i'm getting ready for work she has to have some face cream [pretend of course] make up and perfume same as mummy - she loves dressing up too - on the other hand she is quite happy to play football, play with her tain set or watch thomas with my nephew.

 

[elainegee]

my wee girl loves ben 10, when choosing her face paints goes for spider man rather than a butterfly but on the other hand loves to dress up as a fairy and likes her teddys in bed with her. My wee boy for the first time came through with my daughters pram the other night lol the expression on my OH face was priceless. he is a typical man... thats a girls toy etc, its hard to explaines he is just a wee boy and doesnt know that to him its just something to push!

 

[rosie272]

I would say Charlie is more gender neutral at the moment. The last few times I've picked him up from nursery he's been carrying a baby doll and kissing it and putting it to bed etc.. And he loves the toy kitchen at nursery. At home he does play with rockets, cars and footballs etc but he also loves his soft toys and mop and brush set
I was a bit of a tomboy growing up so I love little boys stuff but if he wants a doll to play with at home then I'd get him one.
He does like to copy me putting on make up as well

 

[fairy1984]

I find this so interesting. i'm quite a girly girl and on one hand would love for my daughter to love girly things too but dont want to push them on her. she has building blocks and dolls and plays with both.

however, my MIL seems dissapointed that LO isnt a boy (she had two boys) and says things like "oh girls can play football too" and only really buys her blue things. this irritates me because I feel like as you ladies have been saying, a child should choose what they're into and what my MIL is doing is just as bad as if I only got pink and girly things for her.

my LO is fascinated with me putting my makeup on and grabs a brush and starts doing her hair and pretends to put my closed pots of moisturiser on her face so I think she may go down the girly route anyway.

would a boy want to do the same if he watched his mum put makeup on everyday? I'll have to have a baby boy and find out

 

[OmarsMum]

Omae is neutral. He loves cars & balls but he also loves to cuddle & put his teddy to sleep. He likes to brush my hair, & giving me a massage. He's a bit girly when he talks as he talks in a very soft way & he's soo sensitive for a boy (he's not tough at all).

 

[special_kala]

River got bought 2 dolls for christmas (not buy us) and she loves them which surprised me. She picked up the word baby really quickly and now asks for them alot.

I think its time i bought her some cars to balance it out!

 

[Rydia]

My LO loves makeup, trying on clothes and putting barrets in his hair! But he has no interest in dolls. He loves balls, puzzles, blocks and animals. So I would say mostly gender neutral so far.