General advice - I’m the only one who likes her name.

Discussion in 'Baby Names' started by wifeybby, Dec 5, 2018.

  1. wifeybby

    wifeybby Well-Known Member

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    Ok girls, I’m in need of advice.

    I have a name for our baby girl due in June. It feels right, I feel like it’s her name and it’s meant to be. I can’t budge or feel like changing her name is an option.

    DH is indifferent with it, he doesn’t hate it but doesn’t like it either. It’s just kinda, ehh to him. We told our best friends the name, DH and his friend were cracking jokes about it. They were drunk at the time, but still. It hurt my feelings. We haven’t told anyone else what it is, and we want to keep it a secret until birth to avoid dumb comments.

    So, if I’m the only one who likes her name - although I have the gut feeling it’s her name - what do I do?! Do I let it go and name her something else? Do I stick to my guns and insist it’s what it is? We obviously have a lot of time to decide.

    I don’t feel like anyone will make fun of her for it, it is an Italian name. It’s nothing hippy or hipster, just a classy Italian name.

    I know this sounds stupid but I don’t want DH to love her any less over not liking her name. I know he really wouldn’t, but it does need to be something we both like.

    I’m so torn! Has anyone else gone through this? Any advice?
     
  2. Rhiannon137

    Rhiannon137 Well-Known Member

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    I'm in a similar spot with my husband not liking either of my two favorites. I've accepted that, unless he actually comes around on one of them, neither will be the name we use. I personally don't care about anyone else's opinion on the name; we never even tell friends or family what we are considering ahead of time. However, my husband's opinion matters a lot since it's his baby too. Obviously he wouldn't love our son less if I REALLY pushed for one of "my" names, but I think he deserves to have it be a name that he, at a minimum, actively likes.
     
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  3. AmyKai

    AmyKai Raising bilingual babies

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    Is your husband 'meh' over the particular name that you have chosen, or is he just 'meh' over picking names in general?

    My husband doesn't really care about picking names - he has never had any strong favorites so he's always kind of let me take the lead, I just let him veto names he definitely doesn't like. I made sure he liked the names we chose, but I've given up trying to find names that he LOVES because he just doesn't LOVE any.

    I think if your husband does have more of an interest in finding a name he loves too, then maybe look for something else he loves as much as you love the name you have initially chosen. However, if he doesn't have the same enthusiasm for looking for a name then I would keep the name you have chosen as his attitude likely won't change.
     
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  4. wifeybby

    wifeybby Well-Known Member

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    Thanks ladies.

    This is our second pregnancy, lost our first baby girl at 8.5 weeks. He picked her name and he loved it, so much that at first he wanted to use it for this baby but we just can’t. That was her name and I can’t just do that. So I think that’s part of the situation.

    Overall he’s just alright about all names, he does like to think of names and talk about it, but other than that one “golden” name he calls it lol he can’t think of anything that was as perfect as that. I like more unique names; he likes names that are rare but still used.

    I brought it up on his lunch break, I cutely with emojis told him he needs to pick a middle name for her and he said “and a first name” — I told him “we can change it if you really hate it but I love (name) and feel like it’s hers” he replied with “lol idk I like hassling you” as well, so maybe that’s part of it too. Maybe it’s not as deep as I think.

    I know talking it out is the ultimate solution, but I just need some other womens stories and experiences to help guide me.
     
  5. kneeswrites

    kneeswrites Pregnant with #3

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    I say stick to your guns. My ex insisted on the name Caoimhe until I grew to love it. Im glad we used it, it is 100% her name. Everyone gave us hassle for the weirdness but i have no regrets. Once she is born nobody will care, they will love her. I had some name regrets with my son because I didn't stick to MY guns. Do what your heart says!
     
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  6. crownest

    crownest Well-Known Member

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    I'm currently 24 weeks and in Love with the name Rían for my little boy, my in laws thought it was a weird name and some laughed. Now they are referring to the baby as Rìan and like it so I suppose I can't change my mind now . If it's a name you love stick to your guns. I find saying his name is .... gives people less of a chance to comment than I like ... or I'm thinking of .....
     
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  7. wifeybby

    wifeybby Well-Known Member

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    Thank you both. I’m come to terms with the fact I can’t change lol call it stubborn, whatever. I just feel like that’s who she is and I don’t want to take that away from her or mess with it.

    Her name will be what it is, DH can call her by a nickname or by her middle name if he wants. I’m asking him to pick the middle name. It’ll work out. <3 it has to!
     
  8. ClairAye

    ClairAye Well-Known Member

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    When I was pregnant with my daughter I only loved one name, my mum at the time said she didn't like it and FOB said he'd never call his daughter that. I left it and don't worry about it as my son wasn't named until birth and we didn't know the sex but when she was born it's all I loved and FOB ended up agreeing and my mum decided she loved it too. I've found from both of my children that picking a name can change drastically from pregnancy to baby being here, I'm sure it will all work out. :)
     
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  9. Teri7489

    Teri7489 Proud mummy

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    When pregnant with my dd I told my family names we had (we were team yellow and only had one boy and one girl name) They were all in hysterics, telling me I couldn't call her that. Her name is Isabella. Horne (is a bell a horne? - no silly it's a bell!) Crap joke that I didn't find funny. I stuck with her name and I'm so glad I did. Like you, it was her name and thats it. The joke hasn't come up and at school she gets called ella bella, no teasing has happened.
     
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  10. Bella1185

    Bella1185 Well-Known Member

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    I know maybe ... MAYBE .....one couple who both “loved” their baby’s name? Sometimes the closest you’ll get to the perfect name for your kiddo is one parent adoring it and the other parent agreeing it’s not so bad! And that’s okay - it’s hard to choose something just right for someone you’ve never even met :flower:


    I’d say keep it at the top of your list, let him suggest some too, then wait til you meet her. Maybe letting it be for now instead of hashing it out might be your way to make it stick. Animosity associated with a name won’t ever work.


    :hugs: congratulations to you!



    ETA: and yes sometimes they just grow into those names!! It’s amazing how it’ll suit them when you never thought it would :)
     
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  11. Arohanui

    Arohanui Mum (former LTTTC)

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    My husband and I had a girl name and a boy name picked out well before we were expecting (we were TTC for years) and they were our firm choices. Then a couple of months into my pregnancy I totally went off our boy name. Hated it! Thought it was ridiculous! Couldn't think of anything worse we could name a boy, but I didn't love any others either, to the point I hoped we would have a girl just so we had a name I liked. I absolutely point blank refused to use the boy name we'd loved for years. Then he arrived as a bit of a surprise 13 weeks early, and as soon as my husband said "it's a boy!" I knew it was the perfect name for him and I've loved his name ever since. So, my point is, your feelings or your husbands feelings on the name might change over the course of your pregnancy. Don't disregard the name, but be open to others too. When you have your baby, you'll both know if its her name or not.
     
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