Getting aggravated with hubby

[prettybirdy27]

I'm not quite sure what to do about this. Throughout my pregnancy I have been lucky to not really experience mood swings. When I do, I am able to reign them in and not act on them. I like to think I've remained very level headed so far. But in the past week, my husband, who is normally a pretty chill dude, has taken a complete 180 and started acting out on terrible mood swings. He has been starting fights, pouting, and the worst of all - taking my words and twisting them and trying to use them against me later. He never does any of this kind of stuff normally!

Earlier today we were talking about financing a car we are going to buy and he had a spreadsheet laid out with all the numbers. I pointed out that he forgot a part of it and then asked him to double check his equations when he is done, which he did. Then just now, several hours later, he called me to his computer to show me an entire spreadsheet he made just to prove me wrong, and then accused me of calling him stupid, rejecting his work, and calling him an idiot, and that this was going to bother him "for years" if he didn't confront me about it now. I never said any of those things!

This came on suddenly, and I'm starting to feel like he's the pregnant one, not me! But he has started to get really ugly while fighting, and is constantly taking my words and twisting them into something completely opposite of what I said. Im starting to get afraid of really talking to him. I'm pretty sure he is just getting really nervous about baby, especially since we are in third tri now. Anyone experience this, or know how I can deal with this?!

 

[2have4kids]

When he's accusing you of terrible stuff like that try what I call hero words "I'm sorry you felt that I said you were stupid, that's definitely not what I intended' - you are NOT giving in accepting what he's saying you did, you are telling him that you don't want him to feel hurt and whatever was said wasn't intended to hurt his feelings. My DH and I get caught up in word games all the bloody time. He can't remember his left hand from his right and forgetting what was actually said. We've been to counselling and the entire point of what you need to say when your partner is having a hissy fit is about their feelings and your intent. Same with children. And if DH is upset and not articulating very well ask him how he's feeling, betrayed, belittled, slighted, etc. then say that's not what you meant, reiterate that you just thought something might be missing but he did a great job and your intent was to just ensure it was all there. Good practice for when you have kids, it so friggen irritating when they act like children like this but men sometimes are...but we knew that already right

You're right, he's probably feeling nervous and insecure right now. Sorry you're having to deal with the both of you (it should be that they are our rock, yes?)

 

[jlw617]

I'm sorry, I know that's rough as my dh is not always perfect in that department...it's a good thing I don't have a lot of mood swings because I don't think he could handle it however with that being said the best advice I can offer is to just remember he has his own fears and stress going on and maybe just hit his limit, we kind of have this expectation that our SO should just put up with us with a smile (whether or not most women will admit it) and it's just unrealistic and not fair...my dh is the biggest baby when he's sick and I can barely take it because he gets so whiney, he also gets irritable when he's really tired or hungry lol so I get the whole "reaching my limit" thing, it's not an excuse for him to be a jerk but maybe you can take this time to be his rock for a bit (even though we want them to take that role) maybe he just needs to know its all going to be ok. I hope this didn't come off the wrong way, I wish every man was able to be supportive to his SO during such a vulnerable time.