Getting frustrated

[abaldwin]

Well.. the one year mark has come and gone.
When we first started trying - and I'm sure it is the same for many couples - we were so excited and kept watch for the signs every single month. We bought ovulation test kits and tracked everything in a calendar. Now every month is just more disappointing than the last. It's like every day someone else pops up in my Facebook feed with a pregnancy announcement or a pregnancy update. As many times as we've asked people to stop asking if we're pregnant, it hasn't hindered people's curiosity. Don't even get me started on the unsolicited advice telling me everything I already know.
I've been to a couple of different doctors to test for multiple issues hoping just to find the culprit and get the confirmation of WHAT is wrong with me.
Even if it's not something that can be fixed, I just want to know.
Your entire life everyone tells you that if you don't use protection you'll get pregnant. Everyone around me got pregnant right away and it sucks to be the one person in your life that struggles.
Sorry, I just really needed to vent. I thought maybe there would be someone else here that knows and feels the way I feel.

 

[Dill]

It's tough, I know. I felt the same frustration when we were TTC DS. I had a MC, I had a CP, I got negative after negative, and meanwhile everyone I knew seemed to be coming up pregnant, with plenty of "We just had an oopsie!" and "Oh, it happened on the first try!" It was more and more depressing with each month.

I wish I had some advice, aside from just hanging in there.

 

[Robynxo]

I don't have advice either, as I'm in the same boat

Why is it so disappointing and depressing and frustrating and all these things that you never thought it would be? I thought the same; all my life people scold you and tell you babies could happen by accident. I went off any contraceptives for that "accident" and it never even happened... On top of that, everyone I know from high school that are not ready to be a parent just yet are having babies... one of those happens to be my 18 year old sister.

I feel you. I really do. Being a mother is looking as far off and impossible as becoming a princess (and sometimes even that seems closer to happening!). All I can say is keep trying, keep hoping, because that is all we can do.

 

[dizzy65]

 

[Babybum35]

I'm sorry. I was in the same boat with dd. I was with my husband for 12 years before TTC her with 5 years only using withdraw method and it still took 10 months to get her. Now I'm 8 months into TTC #2 and feeling the same way again that I won't ever get pregnant and why bother even trying. Its hgard especially when others don't seem to have to try but its so much more common to be trying for a while that its honestly not you or at least not just you. I'm currently 33 so according to a website I visited people in my age group have an 80% chance of pregnancy by 8 months assuming they have regular sex and no underlying fertility issues with 95% becoming pregnant within 2 years so for me my worst case scenario is my dd is 3.5 when I conceive rather than deliver and that might make things easier in the beginning but harder long term ..
I try to see it as out of my control cause I don't have money for testing and even if we did dh would never agree so I do what I can to take control. I take folic acid and try to go to the gym. I attempt to remember opks and taking them around the same time but even then there's no guarantee. I hope you get your bfp soon and that its sticky. Meanwhile vent away you are in good company

 

[Lady_Alysanne]

Hi abaldwin! We have just started trying. But even before trying, I have had people asking me why am I not pregnant yet. I don't know why they do that, may be hurting others give them some happiness in their insignificant life, or may be they simply don't know their boundary.
So hang on there girl, I pray and hope that you get your BFP soon

 

[CanadianMoose]

Coming up to the two year mark here for us, I totally feel you. All we can do is keep trying and focus on the part of our lives that is worth all this crazy stress and keeps us sane...our SO's. Thank god I have my hubs cause he keeps me sane and trying every cycle because he truly believes we will succeed and get what I want, and what he's preparing for (lol I asked him if he wanted this as well and he waslike" " I think so, but I won't know until it happens if this is something I have really wanted all my life until it happens") that kinda worried me but I think that's just how men are. Being practical and realistic they "get prepared" but they won't truely know how much they want to be a father or if they will be good one till the are put in that situation.

 

[Lady_Alysanne]

Coming up to the two year mark here for us, I totally feel you. All we can do is keep trying and focus on the part of our lives that is worth all this crazy stress and keeps us sane...our SO's. Thank god I have my hubs cause he keeps me sane and trying every cycle because he truly believes we will succeed and get what I want, and what he's preparing for (lol I asked him if he wanted this as well and he waslike" " I think so, but I won't know until it happens if this is something I have really wanted all my life until it happens") that kinda worried me but I think that's just how men are. Being practical and realistic they "get prepared" but they won't truely know how much they want to be a father or if they will be good one till the are put in that situation.

My hubby is also like "it will happen when it happens" about it. I guess its how they cope.

 

[CanadianMoose]

I think it's more of a "cross that bridge when we come to it" thing they already stress about work and money and taking care of protecting us that to think of one more thing that adds a whole slew of other things is too much for now. However, you know when it becomes reality they will be ready and prepared for it and to deal with all that entails. Honestly, I think it's the way men don't get their hopes up just for us to have a MC and they be hurt by it as well. Cause they know they have to be strong for us because we actually went through it and are experiencing it, they got to be the rock that keeps us tethered and willing to try again. Thank god for them, as frustrating as they can be the right ones are always our sanity saviors.

 

[dizzy65]

I got pregnant with my second after a year of trying and when I decided to give up i got pregnant

 

[Lady_Alysanne]

CMoose - Yes, they are strong and thank god for that! And, my DH lost a parent recently, so I am trying to avoid discussing my TWW stress to him. This forum has become such a blessing for me, you ladies are so supportive!

dizzy - looks like not stressing is the key