Gives up- oh :'(

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Jennayginger, Jan 30, 2011.

  1. Jennayginger

    Jennayginger yummy mummy

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    Sorry to rant on... i feel bad but he just doesnt seem to care anymore;; whenever i feel ill he says im putting it on... he keeps putting me down saying im getting fat, my boobs have stretch marks...
    i will ask him to wash up or something? BUT NO I HAVE TO DO IT...
    whenever i want to see my friends... its a NO... and if i go and see them he acts as if ive left him for a week...
    i live with him so i never see my family really anymore & miss them so much...
    i feel like i have no one and im just starting to crumble...
    I always cry when im alone...
    I used to be confident and now i hate everything about myself;
    whenever my bumpy kicks he just doesnt care now ... and is like yeah i felt it kick the other day...
    i just feel so sad + alone :(
    xxx
     
  2. scuffer

    scuffer Mum to 3 lovely boys!

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    I am so sorry to hear you're going through this. I really don't know what to say... Do you think it's a bad patch or is it typical behaviour?
     
  3. miss cakes

    miss cakes Well-Known Member

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    :( keep your chin up you got so much to look forward to dont let him get you down xx
     
  4. theresarhuebb

    theresarhuebb x mother of 3 x

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    aww hun sorry to hear what your going through. ive been in that position and when it was me i had it out with him if he really dont feel that way id say well if your going to be like that go find someone else you can treat like s**t,. you dont need it at a time like this. have some time away from him. maybe yous need it being with him everyday. ive been with my partner nearly 8 yrs now. hes now gettin the picture that theres more to life than him self. stay strong and dont let him do this to you. sorry if i havnt helped much. but you dont deserve to feel like that. you deserve more!! x
     
  5. JustThisGirl

    JustThisGirl Well-Known Member

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    I had a similar situation with my ex although I wasn't pregnant with his child.
    It's going to sound harsh hun but you need to get out of this relationship and arrange with someone else involved times he can see the baby when he/she is born.

    He's took away everything that you were/have and it's not fair, he's putting a damper on something that should be the most amazing thing in the world. He doesn't deserve to have you but at the moment he feels YOU'RE the lucky one.

    When I eventually left my ex, I gained everything back and now I'm happily pregnant. The best thing you can do for yourself and your unborn is leave your partner and start afresh with him being there for the scans and birth. Being depressed and alone during pregnancy isn't good either, think about yourself and your baby hun. Sorry if it sounds harsh but I've been where you are if anything, worse as my ex wouldn't ALLOW me to see my friends or family and I wasn't ALLOWED to wear high heels and anything low cut, he'd shout at me if I so much as looked at another guy.

    I hope this helps or you find something inside you to talk it out with him. My support is here babe xxx
     
  6. Ember

    Ember Pregnant - 3rd Trimester

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    So sorry you're having to deal with this! :hugs2: He sounds like a total ass and if it were me I would kick his ass out. This is the most special time in a woman's life and you deserve to be happy and confident and feel as beautiful as you ARE! Don't let him make you feel anything less! HE is the lucky one that you have even allowed him the pleasure of knowing you, much less carrying his child. If nothing else, you need some time apart. He needs to realize how lucky he is to have you and that he won't be allowed to treat you this way. If he can't treat you right then he doesn't deserve you! If you let him continue this way, it will never get better, it will only get worse, and he will keep pushing you further and further, testing his limits. Men are like children that way...
     
  7. shellbelly

    shellbelly Well-Known Member

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    Know how you feel hun, sending you big hug xxx
     
  8. My4thmiracle

    My4thmiracle Mummy to baby Nico + 3

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    Get out now, a man that can treat a woman like a piece of shit whilst she is pregnant will only get worse when the baby is here. If you have got him to contend with and a newborn baby and hardly any sleep, it will be a 1000 times worse.

    Be strong, you and your baby deserve happiness not a control freak to knock every little ounce of self esteem away xxx
     
  9. jellytot3

    jellytot3 Mum of 3

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    Why are you with him? He is treating you like cr*p. Relationships are meant to be happy and your obviously not. You dont deserve to be treated like that, he sounds like he has a large amount of control over you, calls you names, puts you down... some people would call that mental abuse.
    Be strong , leave him x
     
  10. hypnorm

    hypnorm Well-Known Member

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    Have you sat with him and told him how you feel? get him t think how it would be if it were the other way round. He may not even realise hes doing it, men can be stupid!
     
  11. CeeCee2010

    CeeCee2010 Mummy to Jessica xxx

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    Hi hun, I know how you feel. With my first pregnancy I was with a man that not only verbally and emotionally hurt me but would sometimes physically hurt me too. I wouldn't leave him though... he controlled every aspect of who I was. I didn't see my friends, he picked which clothes I could wear, he even made me lose weight because he told me I was too fat to be his girlfriend. He hurt me one night and I ended up bleeding and losing the baby. I will never forgive myself for not being stronger and leaving whilst I had the chance. However, it's not just my baby I lost. I entirely lost who I was. It took me a good 12 months to be ok again and be confident and realise that actually I'm an ok person. Don't let somebody steal you and your happiness because they are a control freak. Only you can make the decision to leave, and don't get me wrong it has to be the right decision for you and bubs. If this is just a bad patch and you think you can work it out... try it. If this is normal for him and the behaviour is getting worse, leave before you lose your self respect and who you are. You are a beautiful person sunshine, don't let somebody get you down. Feel free to pm me if you ever want a chat XX
     
  12. Lawhra

    Lawhra NowProudMumOfTwo!!

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    So sorry to hear he is being such a selfish a-hole. Please don't let him suck all you are out of you. Abuse isn't just physical and what he is doing is abuse. He is controlling you and making you dependant on him. We can all easily type on our keyboards "leave him, you deserve better" but I know it must be very difficult, especially as you are pregnant. But you do need to leave him if he carries this behaviour on..
    I left the father of my son and it was the best decision I could have made and we did fine without him. You will get your strength and confidence back and wonder why you were with him.
    I do hope for you though that it is a glitch and he will see the error of his ways. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
     
  13. Jennayginger

    Jennayginger yummy mummy

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    thankyou everyone for being so nice :) we had a long talk last night + he didnt realise he was being nasty + inconsiderate... he said he was just joking + that i can be a bit touchy at times due to my hormones... Hopefully he has realised now as this morning he made me breakfast in bed , ran me a bath... & is being loverly to me :D
    LETS HOPE IT LASTS...
    i do love him alot and i couldnt imagine my life with out him...
    but yet again THANKYOU EVERYONE FOR SUPPORTING me + being so niceee :] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  14. kanga

    kanga Mummy Wummy

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    I agree, it sounds like he is emotionally abusing you x sorry babe x
     
  15. CeeCee2010

    CeeCee2010 Mummy to Jessica xxx

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    Good to know he's realised he was being nasty, hopefully this will put an end to it now :) Good luck to the three of you. If he starts acting like a prize plum again though remember how gorgeous and wonderful you are and don't let him be a tool :) XXX
     
  16. Palestrina

    Palestrina Well-Known Member

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    Please leave him. He doesn't deserve you, any man that disrespects a woman when she is pregnant and so vulnerable doesn't deserve second chances. He is capable of so much more evil, don't give him the chance to prove it. Love is supposed to make you feel safe, not torture you like this. Go to your family who will be there for you. You're in the clutches of a selfish madman and you must get out. If not for your sake then for the sake of the baby. No daddy is better than an abusive daddy.
     

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