Giving birth alone... Update page 3 =)

[fluttery]

Has anyone ever gave birth alone?? No family or OH?
I know it sounds terrible, but I might have to end up having my little girl by myself because we have no one to watch our 3yr old and she can't be there. So my husband will have to stay home with her. I have asked my mother-in-law and she said no. She will have to work. She don't even know when I will be giving birth! We asked my brother in law. He is only 19 and his mom said no.
Just thinking about this makes me sad, but not much else I can do. I moved 2300 miles away from my family and friends to make a family of my own. I guess this is what I get..

 

[chelsdavison]

oh dear, hope you dont have to go through it alone. good luck hun x

 

[fluttery]

Thanks.. I keep hoping too that someone offers to watch her. At least til after I give birth.

 

[Jaz_]

Y cant your mother in law do it!!! thats awful!!! Hope you get somethin sorted, wot about a doula (i cant spell!!!) you can get her to b with you wen your in labour an they have been birth partners for loadso people so could be a big help??? you can look up Doulas in your area im sure xxx

 

[lauandbump]

Sorry to hear that hun. Do you not have any friends or friends of your OH that could watch your little one? Or have you considered a home birth? At least that way your OH and daughter would be close, even if not in the same room. Hope you manage to get something sorted xxx

 

[AngelBunny]

Why can't your mother in law watch your daughter Grr I'd be getting OH to have a word! Hope u can sort something out xx

 

[Amygdala]

Does LO go to nursery/kindergarden? If she does, maybe someone there could recommend a baby sitter? Or look into hiring a nanny or similar, just for a few days or to be on call?
I can't believe your MIL btw! I would have DH have a word with her. Fair enough if she doesn't want to/can't do it, but to not let your BIL either? Really???

 

[firsttimer87]

cant believe your mil has already said she cant watch your DD, as ^^ tho there are doulas if necessary or a home birth, or worst case could you look up reputable babysitters in your area, call a few and have a couple on stand by?? I know it wouldnt work overnight, but as a last resort? Or is there a drop-in day care near you that would understand your situation? x

 

[kitty17]

I hope you don't have to do it alone, but if that is the case I'm sure you will have a MW and other staff who will give you extra support. But I've always wondered what it would be like to give birth alone (with a MW etc obviously) and I get the idea that it might not be that bad. After all, you won't be alone for long!!

 

[fluttery]

We don't really have money to pay a doula or sitter. I am a stay at home mom so she don't go to day care or school yet. My MIL lives a mile away and only comes over to visit every 6 months or so. Just annoys me that she is like that.. I don't really know anyone around here and hubby friends all live far out..
I was ok thinking about doing it alone, but now I am not so sure. I am a big baby when it comes to pain too, so i will have to do it in a hospital. =(

 

[daddiesgift]

Im sorry to hear no one is willing to help. Id have your OH have a word with MIL and BIL. Wish I was around to help I wouldnt let anyone give birth alone if they didnt want to, stranger or no.

Im facing birth alone as well, and im terrified. But I just keep telling myself that as long as baby comes out healthy I can do this, but just thinking about it makes me want to cry and just give up! My husband is in the army and we are american living in germany, he is currently in Afghanistan and wont be home till a few days before due date so its cutting it close. I have no family either. Its a horrible feeling thinking of doing something so important alone

 

[kimber89]

awh thats terrible.. cant believe your patners mother said no.. sure like she doesnt even know if she would be in work when your in labour what if its a weekend! and why wouldnt the 19 year old mother let him.. thats ridiculous.hope you get something sorted.! do you have work mates or your OH have work mates yous could trust?xx

 

[Shmead]

Do you belong to a church? Have you or your OH ever belonged to a church? It might be worth it to go to a church in your neighborhood and explain your situation and just ask if there is anyone reliable that could either watch your daughter or even just come up and be your birth partner (there's a good chance the minister would know some women who would be GREAT at this and would love to do it). Yes, it's a huge favor to ask of strangers, but you have a huge need. You'll have a chance to pay it forward some day.

 

[BlackBerry25]

No solutions However, my Grandma In Law, who I live with, gave birth to 4 kids alone, and just assumed that I was going to! So it can be done, and it can be ok

I think the church idea is a good one!

 

[DueSeptember]

awwwwwwww!! I will watch her!!

 

[beebee17]

You never know maybe you could meet someone through this site, someone living near you, meet up and get to know them first and maybe they could mind her? I wish you were in Ireland I would mind her. xx

 

[Claudia83]

Do you belong to a church? Have you or your OH ever belonged to a church? It might be worth it to go to a church in your neighborhood and explain your situation and just ask if there is anyone reliable that could either watch your daughter or even just come up and be your birth partner (there's a good chance the minister would know some women who would be GREAT at this and would love to do it). Yes, it's a huge favor to ask of strangers, but you have a huge need. You'll have a chance to pay it forward some day.

This is a wonderful idea, especially if you do go to church with your family already.

If you are not religious and find this uncomfortable, is it not allowed to have your husband and daughter in the waiting room? At least to know your family is outside waiting to visit with you and baby and you might not feel so alone? How about your husbands co-workers? A neighbor?

 

[laughingduck]

I can't believe your MIL won't take the time to watch your daughter! I really hope you get something sorted and don't have to do it alone, I wouldn't like that either Good luck.

 

[smithgirl]

Does anyone on here live near you? That would be perfect! I wish I lived near because I'd TOTALLY help you out!

 

[cranberry]

it is clear the MIL is being vindictive. why would she say the BIL cannot do it. he is 19! i am sure he does a whole lot of things without her consent now. does he still have curfew? how is your husband's relationship with his brother? i think if BIL is willing to do it, you can bypass your MIL.

were you in a birthing class? maybe one of the women will be your birth partner.