going a bit crazy

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by nemigem, Dec 16, 2009.

  1. nemigem

    nemigem Member

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    Hi
    I am completely new to all of this looking for a bit of advice and not the best on computers at all so forgive me. I went in for a D&C on monday 8th Dec after waiting over 2 weeks to MC natrually. I should be 12 weeks today but my baby stopped growing at 6 weeks 4 days.
    I think I am going crazy I seem to have got worse not any better, Is that normal? My partner is finding it really hard to deal with me and refuses to have any more children. I cant deal with that. Is this what men do? I have two children already and I lost one at 35 weeks too which is making this miscarriage so much harder.
    This was his first child and I dont think he understands in the nicest possible way. I am still bleeding which makes it worse as its a constant reminder, I cry at everything and I really cant face it!!
    Sorry to go on and on is this all normal or should i be pulling myself together by now??
     
  2. Tulip

    Tulip Ruby <i>, Dils, Rowan

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    Sorry for your losses sweetie.
    I think everyone will deal with it differently, and of course it will hit you extra hard because of your previous angel.

    I think men really struggle in this situation because you're physically experiencing the pain and they can't understand how it feels. But I think most men have a habit of clamping up when they're hurting and keeping the pain inside, not wanting to talk about it at all. Perhaps in a few weeks when he's come to terms with your shared loss he'll be able to open up a little. I can understand his feelings at this time - he doesn't want to try again because he doesn't want to go through this pain again.

    Hopefully when your bleeding stops it might help you recover mentally, but you're only a week on from the op and to feel the way you are is completely understandable - especially after waiting so long for it to happen naturally.

    We're all here to support you through this x
     
  3. Charlotteee

    Charlotteee Married Mum/Stepmum of 4

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    My partner is being exactly the same. He wants me to stop crying to him, he said he's dealt with the pain, and wants to move on. And he refuses to try again until he leaves uni.

    I think its just a male thing. Its harder for them to deal with our emotions because - as tulip said - they never were attached to the angel. They didnt feel it growing.

    He'll come around eventually sweetheart xxx
     
  4. nemigem

    nemigem Member

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    Thank you hun, Its just the different world of men and women I suppose. Christmas is just around the corner and everyone is so happy I think I could hit them , but got to put a face on for the children.
    I have read a few stories on this site and it just amazes me how people cope with so much. Gives me hope x
     
  5. Tulip

    Tulip Ruby <i>, Dils, Rowan

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    There's always hope. Give him time x
     

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