We were actually in the exact same situation the very month we ended up ttc (although we just miscarried). For YEARS, hubby was very supportive while every couple months I would break down and cry over how much I wanted kids. We just weren't ready yet. Dh wasn't at that point in his life (even though he is older than me, lol). He just didn't want kids yet. And I wanted a house so I could decorate the nursery and play in the yard and blah blah blah. I was able to survive by reminding myself that my child would have a better life if we felt ready financially and both of us felt emotionally ready for children. Once we finally bought our house and got settled, we were looking forward to a cruise we had booked 9 months earlier (still 5 months off when we moved in). Both of us are scuba certified, so we knew we were going to do some diving on the cruise and ttc was out of the question before the cruise because of that... so I focused my energy on being excited to go diving.
While on that cruise, we were seated at a table with 2 strangers for our nightly dinner: a couple about our age. We became immediate friends and found out they have a 4 year old son. He was the best accident they ever had. They talked a lot about how they weren't "ready" and he was in the restaurant business during her pregnancy and right after their son was born (dh is also a restaurant manager, so we have always worried about the long hours he works once we have a baby). But they talked to us a lot about how they just made it work and they don't regret it at all--even if they didn't feel "ready" when she found out she was pregnant. So dh and I discussed a lot on that trip when we might decide to start ttc, but ended up coming home without ever really making a decision. I believe I owe his changing his mind to us meeting that couple on the cruise. I think he internally redefined "ready" in his mind without realizing it. After no further conversation about children, a week or so after we got back, on a whim I mentioned to dh that I was ovulating and if he felt like "trying to make a baby", we should try. The baby was conceived either that night or the next.
The point of this story (I am very long-winded) is that dh's "not ready for a baby" status can change at any moment. You never know what day might be the day where he will wake up and feel like he is ready to be a father, or meet someone that will cause him to go for it even if he isn't quite sure yet. I still questioned whether or not dh felt ready when I told him I was pregnant after the first try, but when we found out we lost the baby he was beyond devastated and asked the doctor immediately how long we had to wait before trying again. That is the moment I knew he was really ready.
Sometimes they will realize they are ready at the strangest moment or after a completely random event, so you just have to make it until that day comes. Hope it is soon for you, because I totally understand how you feel. I was there myself just a few months ago. But I am now even more excited that we are in that stage of life because we had to wait... and I know our child will be loved and eagerly anticipated by both of us.
I had a d&c on Nov. 4, so assuming I get af in December, we will start trying after January AF.
