Grandparents gender disappointment

[Reno]

Anyone else have grandparents that want the other gender? ILs so desperately wanted a boy to 'carry on the name' with DS1, and now DS2 is on the way, MIL won't accept it and is remaining team yellow until the baby is born, in the hope that they got it wrong.

We are telling DS1 all about his baby brother and he is so excited, and after our last scan, MIL showed him the scan pic and said 'there's the baby, whatever it is'.

WHATEVER IT IS??? THAT'S YOUR GRANDCHILD!!!

It's rubbing off on DH a bit too, with his mum feeding him stories about how they get gender wrong (which I know it true, but very very rare and they often miss a penis not find a rogue one). He would have loved a girl too, but has come to terms with two boys now and even said he'd like 3 boys!!

There are issues with girls in the family as DH has a DD who he doesn't see at the minute (and no one else in his family have seen her for about 3 years - she's 5 now), thanks to a stubborn ex-wife and running out of savings to fight for her. Also, DH's sister has two older boys and had a surprise pregnancy which turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy 2 years ago, and it was a little girl. So there's only one other girl and she is an hour away via plane so MIL doesn't get to see her often.

I get that there are issues, but even if I have ten boys I don't want you putting a dampner on my beatuiful family and upsetting my husband. End rant.

We're getting another gender scan in a few weeks time after being told boy at 14 weeks, and if it's still a boy, great and if it's a girl, great. Either way, we're not telling anyone anything gender related with our next pregnancy as other peoples comments are too upsetting for a pregnant mama!

 

[c.m.c]

Sorry you've had to listen to this!! Tell the family that you're not sure of the sex after your 20 week scan as the sonographer wasn't sure it was a boy and that 14 weeks was maybe too early but that you hope it's still a boy...then say you're team yellow, even though you're having your private scan!! It's awful listening to family sound disappointed it makes things worse than they are

I don't tell anyone what baby is as my DH didn't want to know but I can't even bring myself to discuss names we like with mil as I know she thinks and hopes it's a boy!!

 

[Eleanor ace]

She might be doubtful because of you finding out the sex so early. My mum refuses to believe that they can tell the gender even a day before 20 weeks (and even then she doesn't trust gender scans- but then I was supposed to be a boy ) because she isn't familiar with the advancement of scans since she had kids. And 14 weeks is pretty early, maybe MIL doesn't want to bond with the idea of another grandson only to find it is a girl, so she's holding back. I really hope she doesn't put a dampener on things for you. Perhaps you could have a word with her and your OH, say that you understand their reservations but that you are confident that you're having another DS and that their reaction is bothering you as you're getting used to and excited over the idea of a 2nd DS, which is what you want to do right now.

 

[Misscalais]

I feel ya!
My mil wanted nothing to do with DS2.
He had 4 boys, no girls so wanted both my boys to be girls :-/ she pretty much rejected DS2 until he was around 18 mths. And still then favoured DS1.
We don't speak to her much any more, we had a huge fall out 2 years ago.
When we told her about this pregnancy all she said to hubby was congrats. And we've heard nothing since, she didn't even reply to my message! Can't imagine the disappointment if this one is another boy and to be honest we aren't telling her.
She has two other boys to give her a grand daughter if we can't ( DH only full blood brother passed away when he was 14 )
Anyway it's so frustrating when others put their disappointment on you when they should just be happy they are getting another grand child.
Good luck with it, maybe she will start coming around when you have your next scan, if bub still is a boy lol

 

[Reno]

thanks for understanding ladies! if she's still the same after the next scan, it's definitely time to have words with her! particularly to watch what she says around DS!

 

[Reno]

I booked a scan as a surprise for DH, they confirmed it was a boy! DH phoned MIL and she was all "oh, i never doubted it wasn't a boy" etc. *sigh*

 

[c.m.c]

It's good to know for def that the baby is a boy....I suppose with early scans it's easy to wonder if they're wrong.....hope mil is more understanding and excited.

Congrats on having 2 lovely boys!!

 

[MonyMony]

Happy you have confirmation! Sorry you had to deal with the family pressure. But your boys are going to be lucky to have each other!

 

[Samiam03]

I had to deal with this with my first. Both my parents wanted it to be a girl...it was a boy. They both acted disappointed in the gender us and my mom spent the rest of the time talking to the tech about herself and ignoring the us. We went to the store afterwards to buy some clothes and my dad was looking at girly things. When my son was born we heard my mom ask before she entered if it was still a boy.

Then with my second she cheered like some sort of maniac when they announced I was having a girl. It really disgusted me.

Go figure though they haven't really been in our lives since shortly before dd was born and they don't really care to know her. Whatever.

Sorry you had to go through that and hopefully everything works out.