Grr mum rant

[beth_terri]

So im just having a rant moment. I get buy, I live in a rented house, work in a supermarket until the kids are a bit older, cant afford holidays. And then theres my mum and dad (and younger brother). Their lovely house, all their nice things. This is fine they work for it and worked for their careers. But what winds me up is when she knows atm we are really struggling yet she insists on rubbing my face in the fact that they have just spent 3grand on a holiday, she took my brother to disney land at christmas, shes taking him to butlins soon and they will be going to disney again this christmas. My mum and dad never took me away when i was a kid. And whats really pissing me off is that they keep talking about going to disney world florida!!! Now this will cost more than 5grand for what they want. And her defence is 'well i want to take your brother before he gets too old'. Now im thinking well she never took me!! She would never have spent that money on me!! I used to have to pay for my own school trips yet she spends all this on my bro!!

If she was subtle I wouldnt mind but when she knows her pregnant daughter is struggling for money why is she rubbing my nose in all these hols shes got planned!!

Grr!
Rant over

 

[TinySunshine]

aww hun x

 

[Sunshine12]

Whilst I dont think they shouldnt take nice holidays if they can afford it I think maybe you should speak to her and explain that you would prefer it if she didnt make such a deal out of going into detail with you about it. It might be that they couldnt afford to do stuff like that when you were younger so they want to give your brother as nice holidays as they can whilst he is young enough to appreciate them. Just tell her to make it a bit more low key when talking about it in front of you.x

 

[megrenade]

aw, I'm sorry

 

[esst]

That would bother me too. I'd ask her to be a little more sensitive. I was the oldest of 3 and my mom and stepdad's careers took off around the time I turned 15. They bought their first house and my dad ended up moving out of state, unfortunately it meant we had a really nice rented house and I moved schools. My sisters are six and eight years younger than I am and when I left for college (which I paid for, flights, tuition and my own rent since we didn't have dorms) I was 18, my sisters were 12 and 10.

I remember calls with my mom just updating her on things and I'd be skipping meals or having off brand cereal with water because it was all I could afford and she'd talk about my sister's drum lessons or my other sister's modeling headshots or some vacation they were going on and this, that and the other thing.

It sucked. I wanted to cry. I stopped calling her for a while because I couldn't handle it. I wasn't expecting them to help me out and I didn't ask because I grew up accustomed to not a whole lot and knew it was just temporary for me. It was still hard to hear how good my sisters had it when I was struggling.

My dad ended up getting laid off and my parents have been on tough times since. He had a decent career in real estate for a year or so but the higher ups did some shady things and didn't pay him something like $20k and he floundered for a while. My mom was able to make ends meet but it was a rude awakening especially for my middle sister. She got a job but lived at home and still lives at home despite graduating college. She doesn't pay rent and she works at Sephora now. She is driving my mother crazy with her messy ways and how wasteful she is. I kind of want to tell my mom "well, you know, you spoiled the hell out of her..." but I refrain.

My youngest sister moved out at age 17 as my parents had allowed my other sister's friend to move in and they didn't get along. My youngest sister was also pregnant and was just tired of dealing with my other sister's messy ways (you know how we nest!) so she and her boyfriend got their own place and she works hard to provide for her little ones.

Be thankful for what you did learn whilst with your parents and though it will suck to see your brother getting things you didn't have, know that it doesn't make him more loved or appreciated, it is just different circumstances.