had a row with other half about bloody choors...

sparkle_1979

Mum to Ruby born Oct 2009
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Basically he's away 2 weeks out of 4 and when he comes home there are usually weeds in the garden. Basically im on my own for 2 weeks, no family and just don't have time to do it, i mean I guess there could be times, but looking after an 8 mth old and keeping on top of the house work, looking after 3 dogs hardly leave me with anytime to myself, but he thinks when she's in bed I should do some weeding...

What do you think? He reckons when he comes home he has loads to do and weeding shouldn't be one of them...

By the way my house is always spotless so its not like im a lazy cow. We have had a huge row about it on the phone last night, he said "done any weeding" when I said no he went mental saying, suppose Im the one that has to do it all....knob head!!!

Honest answers please, should i get my fat arse in the garden too?
 
Honestly, I think You need to get him some knee pads and a shovel!!!!!

I think you have enough to do. :)
 
that's ridiculous, can't he do it when he gets home?
i'd tell him to bugger off :haha:

or.. say do you want a tidy garden or a tidy house?? :shrug:

i know which one i'd choose!
 
He needs a kick up the bum! I agree with all above posts!
 
He's making me feel like total crap to be honest, in every other respect he is the perfect husband and would do everything for me and the baby, such a good provider, funny, kind bla bla, but expects the house and garden spotless . To be honest we have rowed about this for yrs, to the point where one day I can see us splitting up because it's just a constant row to keep it to his standard. I mean sometimes he's chilled and will help when he's home with stuff and the baby but when he's away he expects me to keep on top of everything but it is so hard sometimes when your on your own to do everything and he thinks it's not.
 
if he's refusing tell him you're simply too busy and you'll pay someone to do it :shrug: would certainly make my OH think twice.. he hates paying out for silly stuff :laugh2:
 
hahahaha, welcome to my world, me and OH row about chores all the time, I think he thinks we must have fairies or something, we row, he then might lift his lazy arse finger, then after a day or two settles back again then we row.... ruddy lazy get!!!
 
urgh is pisses me off so much, just been out there and little one winged in her pram, sorry but i bloody refuse to let her winge..

Regarding paying someone, god he would go mental if I suggested that as he is the one who earns the money, his words would be be " you fucking do it, your at home all the time"

Im soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bloody angry with him right now.

He makes me feel like Im a lazy cow but Im not half as bad as he makes out, I always have clean beds, a clean carpet and floors, washing up always done, clotes washed and ironed and the rest can bloody wait as far as im concerned!!!
I dont think he realises how hard it is on your own, its not like i have parents, siblings here that I can ask to watch the baby while I get on....:(

Its so sad because I think I should just do it you know, because I feel like this could really ruin our marriage all this arguing about it, Im constantly feeling sick about what he's gona say, but apart from this our marriage is pretty great and I would hate to see us split over it...
 
He doesn't seem to understand that being a mother is difficult and takes up a lot of time!
Maybe, you should ask him when he gets home to do your role for a day and put himself in your shoes..

Maybe then he might stop nagging about those bloody weeds!
 
I just dont know what he expects, bloody super woman. Just sent him an email and told him exactly what I think and that im turning my phone off today.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh men!!!!
 
Oooooohh i know how you feel sweetie!!! If oh had to pay for a babysitter and cleaner i worked out dh would need to pay £2k for the 2 weeks hes away! Remind him of this next time he mouths off!! He has no right!! If i were you plan a day out and write a list of chores hes to do and look after lo at the same time and put the damn weeding on the list!!! Xxxxx
 
Have you tried writing out a list of everything you do in done day? Including playing, feeding, changing, putting down for naps and bed, bathing all the cleaning you do, etc.

Tell him if he thinks its so easy he can do it all when he's home and you can go out for the day. Men love to complain and make you wrong but if they had to do it they would whine whine whine :lol:

Also if we got paid for looking after baby and all the housework we do we'd make over 100,000 a year!
 
Ok, at risk of personal injury.....

I can see where he is coming from... WAIT WAIT WAIT.... BEFORE YOU LYNCH ME!
I worked on the road for more years then I care to think about. I can see where he is coming from, he does not understand everything that you do, as he does not see it everyday. For years I was not unlike him, I did not know how much work a stay at home mom did. It took me a long time to "see the light" but when I did, I had a much better understanding of what went on around the house when I was not home. Although I am not with that woman any more, I will say that she did her best to keep the house while I was not there.

I do not know how you would go about explaining it to him. The only idea that I have, is that if he is the organized sort. Write down every thing you do in a day, with how long it takes you. That way he will see how much time you actually have left at the end of the day.
Best of luck to you.
 

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